Archive for the ‘Poems’ Category

yelling

i ran from the noise
looking for silence
and in my solitude
i heard a single scream
that came from
inside my head
i was the one
yelling
the loudest
trying to be heard
above everyone else
like a child
screaming for attention
in a world
where a billion voices
were doing the same

Looking for me

If you want to look for me
i am there,
in the rising sun of the dawn,
look for me in the ray of light
that enters your room
and there you will find me
in a speck of dust,
floating amongst billion others
noticed only when the sunlight reflects off it
but look further
into that speck of dust
for within it exists
the same universe
that you see around yourself
and within that whole universe
you will find yourself
looking for me
in another speck of dust
within which
I may exist
in yet another universe
within another
speck of dust
and connecting all these universes
is my love for you

Goodbye, my love

as she left her womb,
thrust out by a violent birth
i knew that she and I
were destined for the most
intimate of all relationships
time stood still
as I watched her
inexorably sail towards me
so she and I would join
in one final embrace
to complete an event
born in eternity
for since the first explosions
that formed the universe
and the first metals had been created
she and I had been preparing for this one event
how may forms must she have taken
how many hands must have shaped her
and how many eons must have formed her
and how many men must have used her
before she left for this final journey
between me and her
as I looked around and saw
the head of my friend’s daughter
explode, the blood sailing outwards
and the drops, finding their own individuality
falling on the table cloth, astonishingly
in the most even geometric pattern
and yet as I looked up
she was still travelling towards me
I said my silent goodbyes
to loved ones that could never be part
of the intimacy with which
the bullet and I would meet
in one final embrace
I looked at the eyes
of the young man
that held the rifle
that had exploded her out
to her final journey
do you know me, young man?
as you avert your eyes
so casually looking for your next target
did you think of me ?
of who I might be
of my loved ones
or yours ?
do you not think
that in the sheer carelessness
of this one event
that you and I now know each other ?
that we will be tethered together
forever too ?
your life as altered
as has mine
as has
all those I love
and who love me
I want you to remember me young man
I would hate to be someone random
that you had no interest in
but the need to squeeze the trigger
occupied as you were
with thoughts of greater glory
of martyrdom
in your own inevitable death
yet you were the mere instrument
one small cog
almost insignificant
in the bullet’s journey towards me
as we finally meet
the anticipation of pain
never coming
as the embrace of death
flowed through my body
goodbye my love
if only I had known
this would be the last time
I would see you
I would have touched your cheeks
looked into your eyes
softy caressed your hand
looked back and smiled
and tried to make time stay still
just for a little while
but little did I know
that the bullet and I
were destined to finally meet tonight
after waiting for an eon

”time’ does not fly ?

and so said ‘time’
“you have for so long
watched me go by,
now come aboard
and through my porthole
watch yourself go by
for I have been still
for as long as
I have known
myself”

Noise

Amidst the noise
and the screaming
in my head
I finally found
the whisper
of my joy

I saw an ant

I saw an ant
walking through the grass
and I felt the breeze
going past my cheek
and I thought
inside you ,
carry the courage
of many lifetimes
but do not believe it
for you have not looked inside
but if you do
you will find an immensity
so enormous
that it will frighten you
you thought you were
just a person
searching for a life
you
who are not even an individual
but far far more
so much more
that it is terrifying
for you are all
that is good and evil both
that ever existed
and will ever exist
and when u delve
into that immensity
the demons of your own mind
will leap out at you
their fire will threaten to burn you
they will snarl
and frighten you
terrify you
till u run back
into the world of logic
the world of comfort
and reason
where you will be able to define yourself
and confine yourself
to something you can measure
to some one you can measure
but your demons
are afraid too
afraid that you may confront them
afraid that you may find the courage
afraid that you may take them on
afraid that you may become fearless
afraid that you may walk past them
and see that they were the great illusion
of your own mind
a mind that is trying to swindle you
trying to fool you
trying to create a vast spell on you
to make you believe
that you are measurable
confinable
finite
but when u walk past the demons
and laugh at them
and watch them melt away
you will explode into spirit
you will suddenly
in that instant see
the immensity that you are
and then
you will be the ant
and the breeze
and everything that was
and every thing that will be
in that one moment
you,
will be eternal
as will be the ant
and the blade of grass
and the breeze
and the setting sun
6:39 AM

a question

I asked you
and you said
‘you’re too vague’
of course i am
i am afraid
your answer
would be finite
leaving no room
for hope
for interpretation
for dreaming
for yearning
for the search
for myself
in you
an eternity lives
between a yes
and a no

breeze

like a gentle breeze
your constant presence
where have the storms gone ?

emptiness

the fear of emptiness
that hollow sinking fear
that grip of panic
that first realization
the moment of waking up
that there is nothing
there was nothing
but the mind trying to hold
fantasies and memories
to somehow connect
those fantasies
those memories
to the coming day
how will I survive it ?
if I will survive it?
with the same lies I tell myself ?
as I move the day into a construct
of reality
of importance
of memory
of addictiveness
of lies
to myself
if only I could get out of bed
and go to the temple
as I had promised myself a year ago
or to the gym, 5 years ago
so that the hormones in my body
provoked by faith
or by excercise
could erase that cloying feeling
of emptiness
from my mind
but wait …..

(more…)

Scream

did you hear me scream ?
laughing an chattin’
holding hands and lovin’
but can you hear me scream ?
shaking hands
and smilin’
but please
can you hear my scream ?