For who ? For ourselves. Did we do something, some ritual that affirmed our faith today ? In what ? In ourselves. Our ability to connect with our inner selves. For if we do not, who is this person that is working, loving, talking etc. It’s certainly not you.
It’s an everyday search for me. For that something that can put me in touch with myself. My connection to consciousness. My connection to loving nature.
Of course many people have faith. Which is a wonderful ability. I don’t have blind faith. I am more of a searcher. Questioner. Good, bad ? I don’t know. No value judgements on any faith or the question of faith. Or on myself.
Some people do it with meditation first thing in the morning. I have never been able to do that. I have to connect to something, however small, however little, to loose my sense of individuality. That’s the daily struggle. Against my own exaggarated sense of myself. I am so used to it. I have relied on it for so many years. So tough to let go now. Not that I have never questioned it before. But now, it is really important for me to be truly ‘active’ rather than ‘reactive’, which is what I have done most of my life. And how do I know what that ‘true’ action is ? Unless I am constantly in touch with something larger, more immense, more universal than myself ?
Yes I know. By letting go. By allowing yourself not to be addicted to the result of your action. By allowing chaos to invade your life. Yes, I agree. All of that. I do allow chaos to prevade in my life. I am impeteous (spelling). But then the individual in me fights back hard.
It’s an everyday battle. This battle to let go of one’s addiction to one’s sense of individuality.
Yet, the smallest of things can provoke the sensing of my flowing into something much much larger. Something infinite.
This morning it was my 5 year old daughter waking me up with a loud ‘Peekaboo’ and the tinkling of an early morning laugh.
Sometimes it;s just getting up early enough to watch the first shades of dark blue brush across the sky. Something deeply stirring about that.
Sometimes it’s unexpected gestures of affection that were not sought. Or given so instinctually that you were not aware of them.
Sometimes, it’s writing a poem. But only if the words are coming from somewhere else. As if something is flowing through you, a river of emotion you can physically feel that flows through your being.
But it is always so unexpected. So much that I am constantly aware now. My senses hightened. Waiting for that unexpected moment.
When something deeper will reach out and engulf me, and give my life, and all my actions, however small, a deeper and all encompassing context. On a daily basis.
So say a prayer for me. And for yourself.
Shekhar
“We give thanks for all those who are moved, in their lives, to heal and protect the earth, in small ways and large. Blessings on the composters, the gardeners, the breeders of worms and mushrooms, the soil builders, those who cleanse the waters and purify the air, all those who clean up the messes others have made.
“Blessings on those who defend trees and who plant trees, who guard the forests and who renew the forests. Blessings on those who heal the grasslands and renew the streams, on those who prevent erosion, who restore the salmon and the fisheries, who guard the healing herbs and who know the lore of the wild plants.
“Blessings on those who heal the cities and bring them alive again with excitement and creativity and love. Gratitude and blessings to all who stand against greed, who risk themselves, to those who have bled and been wounded, and to those who have given their lives in service of the earth.
“May all the healers of the earth find their own healing. May they be fueled by passionate love for the earth. May they know their fear but not be stopped by fear. May they feel their anger and yet not be ruled by rage. May they honor their grief but not be paralyzed by sorrow. May they transform fear, rage, and grief into compassion and the inspiration to act in service of what they love.
“May they find the help, the resources, the courage, the luck, the strength, the love, the health, the joy that they need to do the work. May they all be on the right place, at the right time, in the right way.
“May they bring alive a great awakening, open a listening ear to hear the earth’s voice, transform imbalance to balance, hate and greed to love. Blessed be the healers of the earth.”
~Starhawk from The Earth Path
breathing in wellness…master thich nhat hanh…breathing out thay
…2015…
aum
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZ6vX7fl0Yw&feature=youtu.be
…some thoughts for the new 2015 year,
blessings,
Cinda
Dad, I love you,
Thank you for teaching me
for taking care of me
for loving me
for giving me my first steps on the journey of drumming
for helping me to understand the wisdom in “outside of the box thinking”
for just being my dad
I’m sorry
Forgive me
Thank you
I love you
10 years ago…your body left us…
and
your spirit lives on….
aum
while we are all busy trying to define, in our own subjective ways what
freedom of speech
right to respect
etc. etc.
what about accountability for our choices?
what about…do to others what you would like done to you?
I don’t know…
who has become such a master of the frequencies that pass through…
aum shanti
e
g
o ….. ..awaring it
…it is Friday, 13…there
it is Thursday, 12…here
what does it matter?
not,
because when I look to the sky
the moon
the sun and the stars…
it is the same
for
you
and
me
…love
Valentine’s
Hare Krishna
aum
…try to avoid something, and it will find you somehow, somewhere…sometime
Well, since I read about the movie, Bandit Queen, on this site, years and years ago,
I made an effort to avoid watching it and reading more about it because the
subject of “rape” came up, and there must be an intense sensitivity about “rape”
and what it symbolizes, for me. So I avoided watching the movie, reading more about
it, and even skipped seeing the words when it came up on the side scroll, on this website.
10 years or so later, a lady acquaintance came to one of my close friends birthday celebration
at my home, last week. Many of my friends are artists of some kind, and we were playing
music…jamming, singing. When we were done, this lady came up to me and asked if I would play
drums at a fundraiser for a documentary. Long story short…yesterday, I asked her to send me the name of the person who the documentary is being made about, so I can research and find out about her.
Well, today when I checked my email…the name Phoolan Devi came up. I googled her name, only to find that she was known as “Bandit Queen”. My jaw dropped! Was this the same person in the movie by Shekhar, that I have been avoiding all these years? Nah, I said. Well, to my surprise, she turned out to be the one and the same, Poolan Devi, Bandit Queen!!!
So next month, I will be supporting this fundraiser, Friday, March 13, 2015, here in Toronto, for the completion of the documentary about her.
The film is being done by
http://www.fazelifilms.com
Co-Director, Gillian Greenfeld (gillian@phoolandevimovie.com)
While I am a small unnoticeable glimpse in all of this, the impact I felt when this came across my path, again…is no small unnoticeable glimpse.
So today, I read more about it…felt quite uncomfortable reading some of the information and what this Being endured…and now I am learning, again, how to deal with…face and find the lessons I need to learn…about “myself” in all of this. One moment at a time.
Thank you, Shekhar…for being, expressing and loving life, the way you do.
Cinda
aum
this dance…
as I watch you move across the universe
invisibly…visible
there in the shadows of light
you move with such grace and devotion
spilling the essence of movements upon a glimmer of faith
for this is all that is needed to …know
you ARE Shiva
Welcome to Toronto, Shekhar.
Hope your stay here is warm and inspiring!
Bundle up, it’s freezing, indeed!
…I forgot
I didn’t
I just misplaced it
it was never forgotten
just in a place where I wasn’t thinking about
I misplaced me
Dear Shekhar,
My birthday gathering is on March 20, you are invited
to attend if you are still in Toronto.
We would be most honoured,
Cinda
…to the light, to the love…to another dimension, my aunt has gone
she shown courage beond what i could talk about
and her spirit soared above the tremendous pain and suffering
she said…”can’t complain”
Aum
((( Nepal ))) in love and prayers all who are affected by this earthquake and other disasters around the world…
aum shanti shanti shanti aum
happy birthday
I gaze, from out of time
To see the edge of wonder, your sublime
and perfect manifestations fall and arise,
In mirth and sadness, play the part of my disguise
All while worshiping my ever calm One, Beloved, within.
ISHA
…that which isn’t
Shiva
It is my wish and my blessing that this Kumbha Mela should become a huge step in that direction, to awaken the world to this possibility.
Sadhguru
aum
Finding Dory, worth seeing!
The Man who Knew Infinity…
born Dec. 22
Tamil Nadu
…a movie to see
aum
…a prayer for my son, Aaravinda,
aum
…clarity
inner engineering
no path…
bhuta shuddhi energies…to Aaravinda Raphael Dev
aum
time to …
do
nothing
how do you do that?
is there such a thing?
cause even doing nothing is something…
so there’s not really nothing
is there?
Lao Tsu…where are you?
my Baby Girl is 28 today!
she is one of my gurus…
I am probably her worse student…
but
I love her as deep as wide as tall as infinite as
existence is…
aum Anjalee aum
“Yet the Ocean remains deep and calm” -Shekhar
…and cold and dark – Cinda
11 years here, since November 28, 2005…on
Did you say a prayer today?
aum
depression
keeping the energy pressed inside?
my son, Aaravinda, was diagnosed with a tumor in his brain.
i feel to be the cause of it, because he spent most of this 16 years with me,
his mom, and i didn’t see it coming.
i know nothing for sure. this experience leaves me feeling ripped and cut up inside
daily. i will carry this tumor for my son if i could.
do any of us know anything for sure?
lost
hallo, anybody?
it’s 2017…anybody out there?
in depression, adjustment and anxiety disorder
finding out just how unskilled most people are at listening
goes for me too
and
how none of us really knows what we talk about
Shiva
Shi va
Sh i va
Shiv a
S hi va
aum namaha
women take 9 months to deliver…and I took 8 months to make this 112 foot Shiva statue?
Really?
I didn’t know it was a competition!!!!
and
who in their right mind would compare giving birth to a human being to making a statue, no matter how big and who it is supposed to represent?
what is anything
anyway?
to be and not to be
what is being?
and
what is not being?
aum new used car aum
welcome to the family
so long old used car, kept me and my family and friends safe…thank you!
your reliable stedfast service is remembered, you took us where we needed to be…
aum namaste aum
deep depression…if there were words to describe this state of being,
then new words would have to be created.
The affects of the gravity that pulls being into deep pain
and (mis) understanding, (non) sense, feeling
unloved
uncared for
unmistakablymisunderstood
underappreciated
unattached from others
unselfesteemed
unapproachable
untied from flow
unwired brain thoughts
unwanting to be alive
unpoliteness
unable to explain anything clearly
uncouraged
unconfidient
unpeopleness
unsleepable
uneating healthy
unafraid of cussing
uncontrolled high traffic of multiple layers of thoughts
unable to understand what others mean
unhappy
unjoyous
un un un
and the list goes on…
what the un is going on?
wu chi
what is really happening here?
what does it matter?
is conditioning necessary to live?
who is making the choice?
…there are no stepping stones, i feel
there is
just
this
if we think about things as stepping stones,
then
how do we value the stones we step on?
every stepping stone is a great success,
if we see it any less than that,
then
perhaps
perhaps
perhaps,
we have
missed
the boat?
something about Abhishek…
aum
yes
http://upliftconnect.com/unpublished-musings-bruce-lee/
Some notes that came through on the UPLIFT website, in case
it becomes handy for your film