For who ? For ourselves. Did we do something, some ritual that affirmed our faith today ? In what ? In ourselves. Our ability to connect with our inner selves. For if we do not, who is this person that is working, loving, talking etc. It’s certainly not you.
It’s an everyday search for me. For that something that can put me in touch with myself. My connection to consciousness. My connection to loving nature.
Of course many people have faith. Which is a wonderful ability. I don’t have blind faith. I am more of a searcher. Questioner. Good, bad ? I don’t know. No value judgements on any faith or the question of faith. Or on myself.
Some people do it with meditation first thing in the morning. I have never been able to do that. I have to connect to something, however small, however little, to loose my sense of individuality. That’s the daily struggle. Against my own exaggarated sense of myself. I am so used to it. I have relied on it for so many years. So tough to let go now. Not that I have never questioned it before. But now, it is really important for me to be truly ‘active’ rather than ‘reactive’, which is what I have done most of my life. And how do I know what that ‘true’ action is ? Unless I am constantly in touch with something larger, more immense, more universal than myself ?
Yes I know. By letting go. By allowing yourself not to be addicted to the result of your action. By allowing chaos to invade your life. Yes, I agree. All of that. I do allow chaos to prevade in my life. I am impeteous (spelling). But then the individual in me fights back hard.
It’s an everyday battle. This battle to let go of one’s addiction to one’s sense of individuality.
Yet, the smallest of things can provoke the sensing of my flowing into something much much larger. Something infinite.
This morning it was my 5 year old daughter waking me up with a loud ‘Peekaboo’ and the tinkling of an early morning laugh.
Sometimes it;s just getting up early enough to watch the first shades of dark blue brush across the sky. Something deeply stirring about that.
Sometimes it’s unexpected gestures of affection that were not sought. Or given so instinctually that you were not aware of them.
Sometimes, it’s writing a poem. But only if the words are coming from somewhere else. As if something is flowing through you, a river of emotion you can physically feel that flows through your being.
But it is always so unexpected. So much that I am constantly aware now. My senses hightened. Waiting for that unexpected moment.
When something deeper will reach out and engulf me, and give my life, and all my actions, however small, a deeper and all encompassing context. On a daily basis.
So say a prayer for me. And for yourself.
Shekhar
head hurts
too much to fast
where is all of this going?
how will it last
past
all that is true
due
a speed hard to keep up
what’s app
where is there time for a nap
mind racing
would be ticketed
on the highway to stay
in the lane
the one to fame
yet no stain deeper
the creeper
inside neurons firing
out of range
just how it is meant
to put a dent
in simple
enjoyment
one that is of no profit
where you are the prophet
of your own ease of peace
anxiety and stress deceased
a return to
breathing
and feeling the air
clean air
going
in
and
out
to and fro
skin begins again to glow
paced
with
life … noticing the trees
a breeze
how they dance
to
the tune
of Shiva
who won’t leave ya
aummm
head not hurting anymore…:)
isn’t it a wonder …
wonder
when mind wanders
how far does the universe go
what a wonder
the face of god
imprinted in every speck of dust
held to the sun unseen translucence
felt in dark skies deep caverns
under the soil plowed and cloud
over rainbows and flamed bows
the face of god
bestilled a heart more
in quiet silence
at a glance
god with no name no face
everywhere and every place
upon a universe beyond
from where we stand
above all sound
aum_(*
oh oh
writing here
a source from there
where?
don’t know
how slow
can’t reach anymore…my toe
without back sore
feels like a chore
uphill
hard on the will
to still
the mind
in kind
to get where
it is a stare
a glare
eyes in tears
fears
hears a calling
semi falling
stalling
bright lights
sparkling looking up
a’top
drop into a flop
thoughts going sewing
the basket racquet
a bracket
outside the bucket
not kicking it yet
tongue wet
concepts in fret
nothing to bet
although a time is set
few left regrets
hurts
squirts despise
rest in need
not speed
to feed
the greedy
giddy spin on a fin
inside the dustbin
chorus sings
it stings
that’s how it goes
it blows
now the gas is gone
hearing a new song
from ago long
reaching over
toes in view
I see you
here I come
down to the ground
a touch at last
one past the cast
of a world stage
in rage
to do too much
simple is forgot
so we stop
and listen
can now feel glisten
aback a track
hunched over a sack
seeds of flax
ready to go
do its thing
digesting a fling
ready to dispel
calls from inside cell
flushing
blushing
empty and clear
the stars upon a moon glare
to be cont’d…:)
Sharing special news…
my daughter is with child🙏
The Womb
An abode
A first place of worship
A temple of nourishment,
care, love, protection
A baby’s santuary
Gateway to the outer world
Where exhale and inhale
meet …
aum shanthi shanthi shanthi aum
Some thoughts about this prayer:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
-Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)
There is no ‘please or May I…’
Revised possibilities:
Dear God,
Please grant me the good sense and serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I’m able,
and the wisdom to understand the difference.
Dear God,
May I be granted the serenity and good sense
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage strength and skill to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to understand the difference.
Many other versions to be had, the idea leaning towards an ‘ask’ rather than a demand or order 🙂
May the other versions reflect respect, courtesy, relative belief in the source of where the request is being submitted.
May we be more aware and conscious of how words have influence on the mode of travel, hurdles along the way, road blocks, green lights, cautions, yields, reasons for the prayers, what might need to happen for the prayer to surface could also be laced with things not prayerd for…getting from point a to b isn’t always simple or apparent to our most used senses.
Still, always more to improve upon and adjust, as learning occurs change could follow…seems like how things evolve.
aum shanthi aum