Letting go of Golden Age

Fro two years i waited for this day. I thought I would heave a sigh of relief. I would be free. I would go play, take a holiday, explore the universe again. Find myself again. This day, the day I finished Golden Age. And now that the day is here, I am in turmoil. It’s like letting go of my baby ? My baby ?How arrogant can I be ?

For two years I have been embroiled in leaps of creativity, fears of faiiure, moments of absolute joy and moments of deep deep dark depression. Enclosed in absolute doubt and absolute moments of supreme clarity at the same time. Negotiating the politics of film making, making light of doubts of others, knowing that I am being watched like a hawk. By those that have spent almost $ 60 million hoping that I know what I am doing ?
In which time the film has become it’s own individual. An individual that I had this deep intricate love hate relationship with. But always believing that this individual was birthed by me.
By me ? Ha ha ha –
It was always there. The film was born with it’s own destiny.
I need to let go. Forget all the obsessiveness. And move on.
The Golden Age belongs to all of you now. Everyone.
Boo hoo.

21 thoughts on “Letting go of Golden Age

  1. Glad to hear from u after a while. Congrats on completing The Golden Age. You sound almost like u have become a father again. I could feel the pains and pleasures of being a passionate director. Wishing u all the luck for the movie and happy holidaying.

  2. Ha…ha…ha…
    It’s a beautiful way of putting your state of mind in words.
    Your ‘Pygmalion/Oedipus complex’ can be understood positively
    We shall look forward for the film.

  3. Dear Shekhar,
    Congrats! Hope the film makes you, your collaborators in the film and all of your friends here proud.
    Move on to something bigger and better.

  4. Congratulation Shekhar,
    I know going through it, is like a labor pain, which is full of joy at the same time too.As chaplin said salute the every producer,I say salute the every film maker too.
    Looking forward to watch it now.
    and good luck with it, I wish you to keep making them. So we can keep watching.
    Great success!

  5. Dear Shekhar
    Welcome back to humanity. I celebrate your achievement.
    Hope you’ll shake your godliness out of your hair like raindrops. Brrrr! And start the walk in your next heaven.
    (Can’t wait can’t wait can’t wait to see Golden Age!!)
    love, Heath

  6. Congratulations Shekhar, Did you find time to read the articles I sent you about an interesting part of the History of Punjab, how did you find them, I mean the following links:
    If you have more free time now kindly read them and please do post your comments.

  7. Well Shekhar anything treated like your baby can never go wrong !! the love and labour youve put into this will show and shine….all the best…..One think striking about what you have have written…..i have noticed in my life too…..the surprising clarity we sometimes suddenly feel in times of crisis is remarkable…..we would be head deep in doubt and when we dont know what we really want………a big jolt suddenly tells us what it is……..i think its because at that time the cloud of petty things disappears and only things that really matter in our subconscious stand out…..adversity can be our ally sometimes…..;;;

  8. Shekhar,
    It might help , if i reminded you of the words of that profound sage aurobindo – ‘ India of the ages is not dead nor has she spoken her last creative word; she lives and has still something to do for herself and the human peoples. And that which must seek now to awake is not an anglicised oriental people, docile pupil of the West and doomed to repeat the cycle of the occident’s success and failure, but still the ancient immemorable Shakti recovering her deepest self, lifting her head higher towards the supreme source of light and strength and turning to discover the complete meaning and a vaster form of her Dharma.’
    Well , we ( I mean children of Mother India ) are all coogs in the Wheel that is India.
    You have done well Shekhar and your creative work , though very well your baby , is also only one more step in your creative evolution and progress.
    By Letting go , you have walked the talk and i respect you for that ! You are the only testimony to it though ! You are entitled to a bit of Boo-Hooing – since the law of inertia applies universally to all material souls .
    Great Job – take a holiday and come back to burst another bubble !

  9. Cheers to the man
    Years and years ago after reading a Filmfare interview, i said to myself that this is a man who could walk into international cinema. That was of course after Masoom and Mr. India after which came an eternity of uncompleted projects and untapped ideas.
    I remember finally reading an article about you doing Bandit Queen – and gee my excitement was skyhigh. Remember even tracing your contact no. in London and talking to your assistant named Liam – dont know if he is still your assistant on Golden Age.
    I felt vindicated after the success of Bandit Queen cause among all the people who followed the day to day happenings in Indian cinema here among our clique, i was the only one who championed Shekhar Kapur. I just felt the man who made Masoom could deliver on any kind of cinema on any stage.
    It is good to know after reading that Filmfare article you have truly delivered on your vision and dreams. Bollywood to Hollywood To U.K you have done them all and greater things are just about to begin. Take it away Shekhar
    Kuala Lumpur

  10. seen the trailer… very promising.. looking forward to(o)
    coming from you– cannot be nothing but master piece.
    thanks sir.. your work & passion it our pleasure..

  11. why you have to let it go?
    its because it occupies almost all of you!…
    asshole, all it means that you were subjective in the process!!!
    u are fucked!… once again… lol…
    and this is life!…
    u are even now subjective about LIFE…
    this is the eternal struggle of a genuine artist…
    dont let it go… just move ahead… so that there would be less friction when your baby will call u back…and it calls back any time…
    ( try to understand the subtle layers i am hinting at… fuck the fuck words…!!! thank you for tolerating bad language…)
    PS: ……………………………………..
    take care…tata…kedar…

  12. wow, The trailer looks great.
    Hope you can savour your creation, you need to partay!

  13. Shekhar,
    The trailer looks grand and promising, looking forward to its release here in the US.

  14. hi Shekhar!
    everything you have said here is just BEAUTIFUL!
    the “creation” already existed and you just unveiled it….wow!
    did you become one with your creation? if yes, then you can’t really part with it now.
    or maybe you have created another part of yourself? (creative fission?)
    but you still got to move on to uncover the next piece of art that needs a mother for delivery.
    go get pregnant!
    best wishes always

  15. Shekhar,
    The trailer I saw–the one showing in Europe on the net–is beautiful. I am eagerly awaiting the film, hoping, perhaps, to see it in Toronto at TIFF, should I be able to go on business. Indeed, I have to finish the adaptation to a particular book first, returning home to Hemingway country in northern Michigan–beautiful territory which has always allowed many to court the Muse, from the vineyards and orchards to the turquoise water, to the northern lights.
    Please know my warmest wishes are with you for reasons I posted before, as much as because the tenets you hold so dearly are truly, and warmly, similar to mine, and those whom I have always most respected. There are too few in the industry who warmly believe in notions which bridge the perceived gap between the creative world and the philosophical one, and yet still have profound humility. I continue to find so many entered this industry for profoundly different reasons, and navigating those waters is perhaps like Elizabeth combatting the threats of Spain and the Inquisition, standing against such mercenary tendencies with a profound and honest show of strength, believing it is also indeed for a larger purpose. In getting back to the notion of the Divine, indeed, perhaps we all have our distinct parts to play…[smile].
    My warmest regards always,

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