my daughter on my Birthday,
My wealth lies more in the faliures of my life than my succeses. My wealth lies in people I have known and lost. My wealth lies in the pain and the heartache of living.
My wealth lies in the memories of those moments of love that were given to me. And given by me. But my wealth also lies in letting those joyous moments and people go.
My wealth lies in all those unfullfilled dreams. In all those longings that aroused my passions. My wealth lies in all the passions I have ever felt and expressed. And those not expressed. My wealth lies in every moment of guilt that I carry for actions done or imagined. That burden too is my wealth.
My wealth lies in every breath that I have ever breathed. Each imbued with doubts and questions and hopes and dreams. And fears.
All this wealth I bequeath to you. For you to squander to the winds..
Daddy
i came across this page by chance..your ideas are a bit complex for a simple soul like me,and I guess hard to grasp at the first reading!! But nice to read none the less…my regards to Suchi…hope she is well,and happy…
That was such a sweet entry. A father who appreciates life and his daughter so much could come up with something so beautiful. Well, if today is your birthday, I must not forget to wish you a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hope you have a fulfilled, prosperous life with all the happiness for you and those around you!
I actually came upon your website today as I was surfing through some of my emails and your name caught my eye. I am currently a student getting my B.S. in Genetics. I am, however, very interestetd in arts, especially performing arts, ranging from dance, drama, music, photography, as well as, other art forms. I would greatly appreciate if you would look at my website and consider me to be a part of your future projects, as films have not only been entertainment, but as a person who appreciates creativity, a journey into a world beyond my reach without a mentor. Even the slightest envolvement will be an amazing learning experience, and I would greatly appreciate a chance to show my abilities. I am very hard working and diligent and will not let you down. Thank you and take care. I will be awaiting your reply.
This page seemed most relevant to me. My Father Triloki Nathaniel Kapur spoke to me recently of your movies. I am trying to find out as much as I can about his history. Can you help?
wow wow wow!
may i say your daughter is sooooo lucky!
wht you say is sooo true…real wealth is in wht we have not acheived…learnt from our failures and then taken tht knowledge and acheived something!
life truely is the best teacher!
great site!
Reminded me of Nehru’s letters to Indira Gandhi which we read in our english textbooks. Am sure with such a wealth anyone can be truly ‘rich’.
the thought of those first 3 lines is enough for a life time. Thankyou for those ammazing words
The portrayal of the father-daughter relationship in any poignant form is something I try to avoid. Ever since my own father walked out on me and my Mom, I have been under this very aware (mis)conception that if I don’t encounter it, it does not exist.
Hence my consistent visits to your blog, yet consistently avoiding this particular section.
The last time I remember being really moved by sketch of a father-child relationship was after reading Danny, the Champion of the World. That was about a decade ago…. and then today.
I also tried to avoid knowing more about the creator of my favorite “Arun Bhaiyya”, scared of finding out that he was yet another commercial director exploiting the theme of orphaned children.
Today, I know for sure he is a very wealthy man.
Thank you for reinstalling my faith in humanity.
Thats a heavy legacy. I think our children should be free of such burdens and breathe in winds free of our lives! A sense of belonging would have sufficed my inheritence. Good luck to you and your family.
dear shekhar
your letter to your daughter really touches the soul like your movies.
all the best to you.we would like to see your movies more often
mrinali.
Amazing lines, ur daughter will cherish these writings forever. You have got amazing clarity in ur thoughts which u effectively pen down. As a receiver and receprocator of poerty, I can only say let more beautiful things come out from you thoughts, pen and movies. Keep it coming,
–Amb.
i can’t say anthing for this letter .the only thing igot to know after reading this letter is that u love ur daughter very much.touch wood for ur love for ur family..
Dear Kaveri,
I am Shekhar’s first wife. We were separated long before you were born.
Ten years after our divorce, I was ill with an incurable heart disease. I want you to know that your father was one of the many people who helped to finance my Heart Transplant surgery. Thanx to that, today I am there for my 10 yr old son.
So some of the wealth that Shekhar talks of, is with me, forever, till this heart beats. And let me tell you, it came from his success, not his failure!
Shekhar,
Nice to have a daughter like kaveri, whom you can cherish your love , knowledge and wisdom more
Many Many happy returns . i have seen your first movie really great movie with shabana azmi and naseeruddin shah action . Medhas posting is also a heart touching
Gopal
Hi Shekhar,
A daughter’s thoughts on your post:
Your wealth, My father
From my earliest days i was held to be a father’s daughter. People told me that i always used to cry for my dad when kids usually asked for their mom.
Things changed one day.
all memories of that age are just vague impressions in my mind, except for this one incident.
It was the usual bedtime ritual when the entire family was gathered around my grandmom for cuddles and goodnights. My dad called my brother and sister to sit next to him and called me as an afterthought.
i refused to go to him as he did not call me first. i perceived i was not held first in his affections as he was held in mine. this obscure event marked the beginning of 12 years of distancing in the relationship underlayed by tumultous feelings arising from deep attachment.
It took me 12 years to rediscover the relationship and once i found it, it was alomost like i had had it all the time. Then i realised that it had always been there, waiting silently for me to understand. Today, i believe he is the best dad in the world.
so whatever your wealth, my father
You have always been there for me
and that is all that i need u to be.
Shekhar, each of your poems and posts resurrects feelings and thoughts buried deep in my mind. For them all I thank you.
Think your daughter would like to be a legatee of this wealth?
Am reminded of Oliver Goldsmith’s rueful statement “my father died leaving me – his blessings”
Beautiful piece, nevertheless!
I wonder if she can possess this wealth in any other way than experiencing it herself…all that she gets this birthday is the gift of life …and haven’t you already given her that a long time ago …
on a related note – Isn’t it true that feelings of loss, despair seem more real than feeling of happiness – they seem more intense and they make you express more … and feel more…i agree – those are your treasures …
Hi Shekhar
…. Ek cheekh jo barson pehle dab gayee thee vo jaag padi…… I wish I had not read this piece.Every father communicates with his child the ways u do and one fine day leaves his daughter a vulnerable creature for no conpicuous reason (atleast not known to her)…. to lead a life in an absolutely insecure world.
But its okay.. Had I not read this piece of eternal love I would not have questioned myself ……… Why do I still miss my father? or Why do I need a father as a character in my life when nietzsche said it long back, “God is dead.”
Warm Regards
Kanak
Kanak, it’s OK. Love is meant to be eternal, the physical presence can never be. I am connected to my mother who died over 10 years ago. I still believe she is in my life. The more you examine the self, the more u understand that induviduality is the gretest illusion, the more understand how greatly we misunderstand what love really means. Shekhar
Shekhar,
I am bowled over by ur warm response.I took a pause, thought about it and finally started writing back to u.
Can u just reject the physicality of love? Can u ignore an expression called …”Sparsh”? I still remember my father’s palm touching gently my head …. a gesture of blessing.For me this gesture is not less than Buddha’s gesture of giving refuge holding a Lotus Stem.
But it hardly helps me when I am walking on a deserted street.At that time only transcended love or call it Aastha comes to rescue me as he is not physically present to save me from whatever….
But that transcended version has nothing to do with my father, it has its own dynamics.It separates me from my father and I just hate it.
Perhaps I am lost.. I must stop now.U need not to upload this post but I sincerely expect a reply.
Sincere Regards
Kanak
My dearest Shekhar I loved your film the Four Feathers although i must cut to the chase, all my life i have tried to get hold of a British Officers Uniform of this time, bet you’ve heard it all before. I dont want it to remind me of the unforgivable atrocities the Empire proaced upon India but as a reminder that although Britain is still strong it is now unified with the world. this would mean a lot to me if you could either point me in the right direction or even provide me with such an item, parden my rudeness. please find the time to let me know either way. I look forward to hearing from you shekhar. God be with you. Richard.
Dear Shekar, its amazing the love and affection that you put upon as poet text remembering your daughters b’day. Now I beleive that you should have been a good father and a good human being.thanks.Ragh
Your belief is your Wealth..Dear Shekhar ji, i am an artist and i paint. i paint the human faith, beliefs, desires and the depreviations…To your daughter, your words, faith,dreams, desires, hope is all but Wealth.God Bless..
Hi Shekhar,
I wanted the video clip of your interview on NDTV where you talked about GOD and beautifully described it to your daughter.(faith, trust and love = GOD)
You also talked about how you are now above success and failure and your view towards life. You beautifully brought out the view between western and our culture…when some one said to u in NY.. “Shekhar u look fresh and young” whilst someone in Delhi said “Shekhar u look pretty old”… I loved that interview… that was very thought provoking and changes the way one can look at events in life.
Can you please help me in getting a copy of the interview. I tried the NDTV site, but cud not get it.
look forward to your response,
regards,
Ashwin
Hiii
I have been thinking about success, failure and ur dilemma eversince saw u in ‘one life to love’ and read ur piece (guess, u have removed that piece from the site).I found it quite intriguing and did a bit more research myself to find more examples and possibly discover some buried significance or purpose behind ur craving for the days of failure.
Dont u think there is a beautiful option left ……… And that is self-denial.
Warm Regards
Kanak
Hi Shekhar
I made a mistake in my earlier msg.Extremely sorry about that.Little embarassed to see that msg here.It should be voluntary denial instead of self denial.
Regards
i truly agree,wealth lies in things that are gone then the one thats been held,love lies more when its lost then in the love thats found…longing is wealth rather than receiving…may be thats human destiny.
goodluck
Hey Shekar
Just saw your interview on NDTV ,by your views felt that your soul is & on the search for the eternal existance.I guess when a person like you reaches his peak of fame,starts feeling that it is meaningless and only the struggle and creativity shows you the path to the ultimate.
I guess a lot of us on the creative path can so easily connect with you ,as i guess we all feel the same .The core source being the ultimate universal existence
I guess people like you make others feel that the sky is the begining
Have fun
Shekar,
Saw your interview on NDTV . You said you r what ur because you die one day, very interesting also may be very true. I agree that eternal existence will take away the drive or inclination to do something, like you said may be even wanting to meet people.
But coming to the letter to ur daughter “Immense wealth I give to ..” ,which is so very relevent to me.. , and when you say,
‘My wealth lies in all those unfullfilled dreams’,
are those the lines of an unsucessful father. if yes, then why from you?
And when you say,’My wealth lies In all those longings that aroused my passions’, ‘My wealth lies in all the passions I have ever felt and expressed. And those not expressed’ .. it is as if my thoughts have been weaved out into those lines. wonderful. By the way is this a letter you want your daughter to read after some 20 years!!
Hi,
Like your views on life… rings a bell with my own. Thought I’d share a similar musing.
With every dip
My first dip when I knew hunger for the first time, and a loving breast was offered to me in solace,
My second dip when I tried to walk, and learnt how to fall and how not to,
My third dip when I knew I wasn’t the only one making dips,
My fourth dip when I knew that when someone smiled it wasn’t necessarily because they were happy,
My fifth dip when I knew everything is not necessarily in order and doesn’t follow a pattern,
My sixth dip when I knew love,
My seventh dip when I knew what I thought was love was not,
My eighth dip when I realised that dreams come true the hard way,
My ninth dip when I knew that I could dream anyway,
With every dip into the metaphorical ocean I emerge newer, cleaner, wiser….
How many more dips will it take to be a child again?
Dear shekhar,Idon’t think we have ever met,but i know you through your father who was not only a fantastic docter but also a wonderful human being.He was my daughters doc,and i still remember the day he told me that i should not worry about her as she has a mind of her own.Each day as i watch her grow those words almost seem prophetic.Idon’t know if your sesitivity is genetic or not, but it almost seems as if you are scared that the age difference may create somekind of distance between the two of you.My husbands in the same boat as youcoz he is 64 and our daughter is 11.Treasure every moment spent with her as these days fly away too soon.
Touched! Beautiful thougts! I thought your letter was “real” and i could so relate to it. I hope your daughter would too when she reads it. It’s amazing how i agreed with almost everything that you said in your interview with NDTV…”we are what we are coz we are mortal” etc. More so, coz i found a lot of meaning into what i do in my life from most of what you said. Would be very interesting to keep in touch!
All the best!
Hi,
I am not too sure why should I be writing this but something in me tells me to. While I really appreciate your concern for your daughter but I strongly believe that it is not the theory but the practicality of it all which wil go a long way to show a deep concern for your daughter. As a daughter myself I do not remember spending quality time with my Dad coz he was busy. I sincerely hope you manage to take time out for your daughter and not just write to/for her but show her and make her feel that she is important.
Thanks Sakshi, I will always do my best. Shekhar
Seems like it was yesterday, when i learnt to walk,
holding your hand on these very streets.
Seems like it was yesterday, when you came running
when i fell and brought me back to my feet
Seems like yesterday, that you roamed on the terrace
at nights, trying to put me to sleep
It seems like yesterday, that you held my hand and
taught me to sing
Seems like yesterday, that you were always with me,
for everything.
It was just yesterday, when you taught me
right and warned me about wrong
yes it was just yesterday, when you played with me and taught
me to be strong
It was just yesterday, when you brought me my barbies and my
game,
Yes it was just yesterday when you taught me to
spell my name
Even after all these years it is all the same
It seems just like yesterday ………………
Dear Shekharji,
what shikha said is something very true…. this was written by me a couple of months ago when i realised ( not too late ) that the person whom i miss the most and loved the most ever is my father… what you said is true that physical prescence can never be always …. i hope that your daughter remembers the special times that you have had with her and share it with you just like this a couple of years down the line …. like i dreamt of my dad and me going out for a stroll or having tea together or playing chess ( with me loosing all the time )… now not speaking too much .. end this with a hope that you will like this poem….
i dont know why…but the subject father brings tears to my eyes….
is it because it reminds me of who i am??
god bless
Shekhar,
It is beautiful to see simple human emotion. To see that failing is okay…
every morning I wake up to be super mom, and swell with vain pride when my son copies me..
Then i end up reading your lines to your child and I wonder… what will it feel like when my son frees his life from my fears?
Hi Shekhar,
I lost my father when I was very young-atleast in my own eyes and i know what it means not to have a father around. Your daughter is lucky that you have written such beautiful things for her. Children always appreciate parents irrespective of the fact whether they are success or failures. Life is about experiences and if our children are able to see them through our eyes, the heart feels touched and the eyes turn moist. May God Bless you.
Respected Mr.Shekhar,
This is so true that what ever My Father did all his life -people thought it was a failiure as far as material value is concirned,but to be a one of the children of such a fantastic father who has given us such big values which are beyond any material wealth in this world!
It was he who even when he was out for months together,still he was with us and today when we are so far from him still he is with us!
Amazing ya,but i pray that even i am able to instill and be as capable like my parents to give to my children atleast some part of it!!
Your thoughts inspire! Believe me they wer not failiures,you never lost them,they all are with you.
Regards
Aparna
dear shekhar
i have recently started visiting your web-site and what can i say at times i am touched by some article and at times iam confused that are you a preacher producer or a director am i getting connected with your preachings or you yourself as a person which can be possible only if you are more open about yourself its not curiosity its the very reason what makes you tick with daily life which could be a lesson for all the people for my self i see something of you in me is it a passing phase or a reality need to hear from you till then….
zeenat, my words are the mirror in which you see yourself I hope. The words are interpreted by everyone differently through the prisms of their own minds. I am not a preacher. I do not think what to write, but merely write what comes to me. Shekhar
Hi Shekhar,
Nice words to your daughter .She’s lucky to be having you.Your thoughts have refined edge the permeates all borders….hope we get to hear more of that from you.
The opportunity also pushes me to wish you all the best for Golden Age…you have a fabulous cast and I bet its gonna be bigger than Elizabeth…take care
Those were really touching words from a father to his daughter…I am sure this must be a really difficult time for you being seperated from your daughter because of the divorce with Suchitra. I hope you can sort out whatever differences you have…you seem like a very sensitive man. I loved your movie Masoom! I come from a family where my mom is diagnosed schizophrenic. Childhood was hell for me because of her but somehow I survived because of my father. If Suchi has something similar going on with her, then you have to be with your daughter!
“Beautiful”
Hi,
Me again. This is really a touching segment. I will like to comment from multiple dimensions.
First, this posting brings me memories of the song “Lullaby” by Billy Joel. Upon researching I discovered he wrote the song for his daughter near his separation from his wife. I see elements of similar pain as I also read your note to your daughter. Is there connection to the fact that your recent separation from your wife was peaking around the time you wrote this. In a way, may be it is your cry to the fact that due to marital separation, you will not be around in your daughter’s life to the same degree. I can relate to this as my own marriage has been hanging together with a sticky tape and my elder one is a 15 year old daughter.
Second, in the reply postings I see a theme of the male / father as a protector. It is a role most men fulfil as the social norm and it is possible their failings are remembered more than successes. Could that be that reason why it is so common for people, both men and women, to be not at peace with the memory of their fathers? (I am trying not to make global statements by qualifying through ‘possible’ and ‘common’).
Third, touching to see your first wife posting on this page.
Male gender identity, male emotional health is a topic of keen interest in applied psychology in the west. Father daughter relationship reflects a unique light on this group of issues. In India and around the world, we could do with a healthy debate on the issue. Women’s lib, feminism and non-adversarial diverse have been around for 40+ years. Time is ripe for the next iteration of gender identity evolution … here I go tangentially off topic 🙂 More on that another time.
Together,
Rajeev
hi sir,
“your daughter is your immense wealth…,”.
take care
i shall support with my all thoughts that may all your dreams get fullfilled.
GOD bless you…
Hi
I’ve written a bit on your poem on my blog. Hope that’s all right. It’s here: http://reve3.blogspot.com/2007/09/shekhar-kapurs-piece.html
Dear Mr Shekhar Kapur
This is Raksha Bharadia. I am an author. My debut book Me-A handbook for life (Rupa & Co) is on the shelf. My 2nd book Roots and wings-A handbook for parents (Rupa & Co) would be out soon.
The current assignment undertaken by me is compilation of individual experiences for the ‘Chicken Soup for the Indian soul’ series for Westland publishing house.
I would be honoured and delighted if you permit me to include the following write-ups from your blog Intentblog for the Chicken soup for the Indian soul. They are:
‘i am learning disabled’,
‘letting go’,
‘the fruitseller’ and
‘the temple’.
I would love to use more in other titles as well if it is okay with you.
Awaiting anxiously for your reply
Regards
Raksha Bharadia
cell number-09825006845
email id bharadiaraksha@hotmail.com
Thats an honest legacy… away from the false feel-good platitudes that surrounds one. You’ve felt pain and thus been alive… and I am sure your daughter will feel pain too… to feel pain is to be alive, and be a human being.
Dear Shekarji,
I read your lovely poem.It evokes your pangs of pain and agong.Life is a wonderful gift of god.Feel happy and spread happiness.
Best wishes,
Venkatesh
I felt my eyes welling up – not necessarily because of the poem, which is great, but more while reading a couple of comments. Yet, there is more a sense of inanition than animation of any kind – and I’ve just nailed it why. If someone like you – so rich not just with failures but blessedly with successes as well – still needs to spell out simple nothings, that paradoxically equate to everything, to your daugther or anyone else – then what fate awaits simple mortals like us, who neither have the failuers and/or successes to fall back on nor have the creativity to string together whatever little we can pass on. You’ve made me feel really poor today but not in a bad way – only in an inspiring way. But then this is not about me. Its about you and your daughter and its wonderful. You’ve done yourself and a lot of people proud in many ways – make sure she gets to see that as well. There’s nothing more inspiring for a daughter than a father farught with failures who has turned it all around.