For who ? For ourselves. Did we do something, some ritual that affirmed our faith today ? In what ? In ourselves. Our ability to connect with our inner selves. For if we do not, who is this person that is working, loving, talking etc. It’s certainly not you.
It’s an everyday search for me. For that something that can put me in touch with myself. My connection to consciousness. My connection to loving nature.
Of course many people have faith. Which is a wonderful ability. I don’t have blind faith. I am more of a searcher. Questioner. Good, bad ? I don’t know. No value judgements on any faith or the question of faith. Or on myself.
Some people do it with meditation first thing in the morning. I have never been able to do that. I have to connect to something, however small, however little, to loose my sense of individuality. That’s the daily struggle. Against my own exaggarated sense of myself. I am so used to it. I have relied on it for so many years. So tough to let go now. Not that I have never questioned it before. But now, it is really important for me to be truly ‘active’ rather than ‘reactive’, which is what I have done most of my life. And how do I know what that ‘true’ action is ? Unless I am constantly in touch with something larger, more immense, more universal than myself ?
Yes I know. By letting go. By allowing yourself not to be addicted to the result of your action. By allowing chaos to invade your life. Yes, I agree. All of that. I do allow chaos to prevade in my life. I am impeteous (spelling). But then the individual in me fights back hard.
It’s an everyday battle. This battle to let go of one’s addiction to one’s sense of individuality.
Yet, the smallest of things can provoke the sensing of my flowing into something much much larger. Something infinite.
This morning it was my 5 year old daughter waking me up with a loud ‘Peekaboo’ and the tinkling of an early morning laugh.
Sometimes it;s just getting up early enough to watch the first shades of dark blue brush across the sky. Something deeply stirring about that.
Sometimes it’s unexpected gestures of affection that were not sought. Or given so instinctually that you were not aware of them.
Sometimes, it’s writing a poem. But only if the words are coming from somewhere else. As if something is flowing through you, a river of emotion you can physically feel that flows through your being.
But it is always so unexpected. So much that I am constantly aware now. My senses hightened. Waiting for that unexpected moment.
When something deeper will reach out and engulf me, and give my life, and all my actions, however small, a deeper and all encompassing context. On a daily basis.
So say a prayer for me. And for yourself.
Shekhar
Dattatrya
time space causation
past present future
creation preservation destruction (make hold release)
before now after
it goes on, not as duals as a trimurti
Ode to All there is isn’t …who knows?
Aum to Everything??
we don’t all bleed the same colour, some pink, red, burgundy etc.
we all cast the same colour shadow when light is present
the truth of this phenomena reveals itself.
In essence, it takes the light to show we all have black shadows,
no matter our skin colour
Some thoughts came to me today, just sharing a concept, different to what we typically hear.
I had some thoughts about the past and how folks tend to try and convince others
to release, forget, move on, etc. from their past.
I feel, our past is valuable, in respects to the content and experiences that have the potential to
inform us to use them as tools to enhance, enrich, modify, cultivate, etc. in order to create
new pathways, improving on what happened to what is happening.
‘Releasing the past’ sounds like another form of ‘letting go’ of something that may very well be the building blocks of
a stronger, more confident space from where to grow. Why ‘release, forget, let go?’ How about, bring our past in our tool box
and use it as solid reminders to move and create in a new way, healthier way, honouring the road we took, whether it was
horribly mangled or delightfully aligned with joy and love, either way, the experiences are our own personal truths and informants,
individually wrapped for gifting to our senses and beingness, later on in life.
Perhaps, we just need for someone to believe in us, no matter what road we travelled,
someone who could remind us of our true natural essence.
Any thoughts?
patience Master,
yea, what about it?
how can I be patient?
um,
do i speak up?
do i keep silent?
when to do what?
hmmm
head going
bongy bongy bongy
okay, just had to get that out
hmmm, writing can be a passage of release too
ahh
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
freedom, rights for all, justice, peace, hope love
aum
Celebrating my Son’s 21 Birthday
with deep gratitude, appreciation, love and presence,
Blessings to do what you love and have a passion for in life,
and the support to help you on your journey,
Being well and safe,
I love you so so so much,
Mom
tired
aum
gratitude
Ode to my toilet
for taking my crap everyday
aum
creativity
sometimes it takes a deep dive into the depths of the wells’ bottom
discovering yet another form of creative expression
if one could allow embrace and be with it at this point
oh, what treasures one could possibly find…ahh
for the amount not
for the glory not
for attention not
for giving
aum
i can manage this
aum
Kryptos
aum
Asato Ma Sat Gamaya ??
ritual
preparation
from the moment of existence
not only the day of the puja
life is a puja
aum
15 years ago our father passed,
my brother left the family, out of contact for all those years
15 years later, this past week, as my 2 sisters and i were sharing a meal
parked in a lot in a vehicle,
another vehicle drove up 2 spaces away, and one of my sisters’ turned her head and said
‘isn’t that Ren?’
my head turned and saw the silhouette of my brother
the one who was close to me growing up,
we played together, went to school, and worked together,
went though a lot of hardships together
there he was, like a ghost came to life and was in the vehicle
2 spaces away from where we were
was it real? is it him?
as he came out, we came out and walked over to him,
i was hugging him but didn’t know if he was there
my mind went into shock
and memories started flooding at the same time, it was so surreal
we all sat in my sister’s vehicle and talked and shared and
all the while I was trying to ‘pinch’ myself awake
is this really happening?
My brother, Ren, returned
he may have been mentioned on this virtual prayer flag
because it was about 15 years ago when this thread began
10 months after our father died
This happened the same week, when my Son and I talked about
Anything is possible
and it was this week I experienced it.
Anything is possible??aum
for my Son, Aaravinda
good health and wellness improving each day
aum
birthday
birth day
bir thd ay
bi rth day
all kinds of things happened from the time we are born into the world
even before even after we go
all kinds of things will continue
as it has
as it has it will
in some way
of emerals and gems far from what eyes have seen
still there is this one thing that holds
a greater meaning
love
a prayer
to help us help ourselves
aum
help for little Ayaansh??
returning to self
over and over
as long as it takes
aum
Prayers for my Son
may he have good health, well being and keep safe ??
aum shanti shanti shanti aum
‘no one is safe until everyone is safe’
-SKapur
in essence
nothing belongs to anything really
everything is part of the whole
you and no other
Honours to All the Mamas who gave birth to
another being, not a small task by any measure ?
aum shanti ??
raise in consciousness and awareness ??
more kindness and care towards ourselves
and one another
aum shanti
the vaccine for Covid
if not for your safety and safety of others
then at least for the experimental stages of donating our bodies
so science could figure out what works
the rats, mice, monkeys, etc. have had their lives taken
for so so long, in the name of providing humans with medicines etc.
it’s a courtesy to all the creatures that we also participate in
experimental trials too
“MRNA is proof that God is not yet completely discouraged of humankind”
-Tagore-ish
by Sean Penn
Native Americans are the Original Inhabitants of North and South America,
Indians are from India
To All Indigenous People of Canada,
Love and prayers, condolences for the loss of
hundreds, thousands, of loved ones, and
much respect and honour to past and current generations
for a better life in Canada, on their land ??
was it something i said?
or
didn’t say?
Rest In Peace and Love
to
Everyone who passed on ???
Asatoma Sadgamaya
aum shanti aum
it’s in the air
the water
the soil
the land
everywhere
it’s everywhere
aum
Prayers for safety and wellness to
All who need it ????? aum shanti aum
* p a t i e n c e *
A prayer for everyone…
that we are more aware, kind, understanding,
respectful of ourselves and towards each other
aum
what is this magnet pulling me to do
something not in my best interest of
health
wellness
safety?
Prayers for safety and wellness for
anyone who is in need.
aum shanti aum
Cre8tive
Prayers for Andrew,
healing and peace of mind,
aum shanti aum
Grateful for this space to express
thoughts
an intention
a prayer
an offering
creativity in the moment
reflections of what was and is
nothing
aum
Love to ALL
Global citiZEN artists, organizers, supports, behind the scenes workers, and
everyone who contributed to the GlobalCitizenLive worldwide event.
aum
zened
blend
tend
friend
send
“Unprepared:
and even now I find myself unprepared – after several years of a slow decline, multiple stays in the hospital for pneumonia, surviving stroke, cancer and many other ails; my father returns home today from his last hospital stay to hospice care. He’ll be made as comfortable as possible, his family present, and pass away when his time arrives. As his caregiver Iv’e dealt with this through all practical purposes, tending through the progression of illness, adjusting, carrying on. I know exactly what’s to come, a final breath won’t catch me by surprise. Yet still, somehow, I’m unprepared for this.
there is no easy way of letting go.
not that I thought there would be; I’m well versed in loss, from sitting at my mom’s bedside in her final days with Alzheimer’s (a disease of constant loss) to my own divorce that broke me to my core. Covid has wiped out my business and caused distance between myself and much that I love. With life loss continues and there’s grace in this acceptance.
and I do accept what’s coming, as I have with every previous loss.
but still I’m unprepared – this is a complete surrender of role, of my story as caregiver, son, and the last of family that truly cares for my well being. From this point on it’s all unknown. It’s such mixed grief, as much for myself too, losing that last vistage of purpose, my sole role of offering care, and now moving further to uncertainty. I’m unprepared to lose this story.
during this past hospital stay, my mind would often wander to routines established with my dad, the set times for medicine, our walks, each one growing a bit more difficult by the day, but still we persisted to maintain as much well being as the moment would provide. Even yesterday, his breath and speech both with struggle, he talked more of what he would like to do than he did of loss. It’s not that he’s afraid of letting go, he’s always been pragmatic and has faced his every condition with courage – he simply wishes to participate with life through every moment with as much ease, joy, and grace as will be allowed. He’s willing to work for it, to make the effort of living well and with dignity.
even as he’s dying.
so, this is where we are, it’s where I am – lost and unprepared, afraid, uncertain. With my father’s example ever present I stay honest with this, participating with the moment at hand, allowing life to handle the details of surrender. Letting go isn’t an action taken, it’s the natural sweep of life, from the known to unknown, a gateway into mystery. My role is to be present, available for grief to find me, to not hide from my fear and uncertainty, not project false pretense onto what the moment holds. Allowing and letting go are common bonds, kin in their connection. Yes, I’m unprepared, even now, and will be for every moment on. There is no real preparation for something final, but life is still in motion, becoming something other through the very instant of this letting go. With this – I am already surrendered, allowing whatever’s present to simply be.
there’s nothing more to do.
~
Peace, Eric”
(Eric McCarty October 1, 2021)
“Such was his way:
yesterday, my father returned home from the hospital to enter hospice care. Everything was set up for him to be comfortable and at peace, a visit from his nurse, questions concerning his illness in which my father participation veered in the course of his customary storytelling, along with voicing his concern for my own well being. He always wished the best for me even through the course of his own suffering.
such was his way.
minutes before the day was to turn to morning, I woke from a light sleep to sounds of my father distressed, agitated and came down to check his needs. He was unable to rest and asked for another sleep aid, telling me his usual trick of counting numbers in a particular order wasn’t working. Only a few minutes later my father passed away.
he didn’t quite make it to the new day.
honestly I have no idea what to write, if this is about my father, death, my own grief and struggle. All of it perhaps, a bit of everything. What I do is write, sharing my experience of moments that have a certain meaning to me, airing my thoughts to whoever happens to find my words. It’s similar to my father’s storytelling, just my way.
little of what I write is planned, and there’s as much time waiting for words to appear as there is actual writing. There’s always a pause, free of expectations, and then a flow of words. I’ve learned to sit with stillness, a long silence that is its own reward.
so I sat with my father for a while in the early morning, hours before dawn, facing the day he didn’t quite reach. I held his hand and sat through the longest silence of my life, devastated by his stillness and yet sensing his peace, no longer a struggle for breath, but still somehow able to share his presence with me through these moments. From the depth of this stillness, no longer a place for words, he brought me peace, offered me a bit of grace in a moment most needed.
such was his way.
~
Peace, Eric”
(Eric McCarty – October 1, 2021)
Prayers for Ericc,
peace, comfort, ease,
support and love,
aum shanti shanti shanti aum