What do you want ? New Year Resolutions

New year resolutions are fine as a wonderful conversation piece. Great to fill newsprint. Along with the best and worst of the previous year, the predictions that never come true for the next year, come hordes of celebrity new year resolutions, tips for healthy new year resolutions, new year resolutions for better sex etc etc.

But as everyone is talking about them, it does force me to evaluate myself over the past year. But then the past year is a reflection of all my past years. So I sit down and ask myself.

What do I want ? Not an easy question at all when you discipline it down like I do film plots. (If you cannot tell the story in 10 words, then you don’t have a plot. Sounds mundane and silly, but even an artist has an outline sketch that disciplines the painting). So what’s the plot of I want ?

I want to be happy. But then I have walked with enough thinkers and mystics, psychologists and intellectuals to know that is just a word that describes an impermanent moment of brain chemicals. Brain Chemicals. Now thats what frightens me most. Am I just a product of my brain chemicals ? If so then what could I want except balanced chemicals to still my mind and be restful and peaceful. Thats easy. All I need is a prescription from a doctor. Or I am told, drink the water of New York which contains high doses of prescription medicines for ‘happiness’.

What do I want ? Of course I should be making more films. But I make films to communicate. So the fundamental force comes back. What do I want to communicate ? I have always been told I think too much, because of which I don’t act enough. But thats not true either. Why should action be measured in terms of marketable creation ? Is achievement and fame, monetary gains and material assets the fundamentals of measuring action ? I am restless always. On the move always. Traveling always. Interacting with people always. Wondering, yearning experiencing, inquisitive. Always.

What do I want ? What should I wish for on this New Year ? What is that fundamental idea that would encompass that which I desire most.

Now here is the problem. My desires change on a day to day basis. On a moment to moment basis. Like a child I get attracted from one desire to another. One idea to another. So how can I trust my desire to define that which I want most ? I want a healthy life for as long as I can. I want all my family and those I love to be happy and healthy. I want to everyone to happy and healthy. I want there to be peace in the world. I want the Planet to be a greener and less polluted place.

All that which will never possible as the Buddha discovered much earlier in his life.

So really, what do I want. Not a wish list. Not a fantasy. Something I can achieve. Something real that underlies everything I have searched for. The root from which the rest naturally grows and flowers. Is there such a root ?

What do I want ?

I want to be honest. Not as in truthful. But to live honestly in the moment. To exist in honesty. Not the honesty or truthfulness of the moment that passed. For that is a prejudice. Not in the truthfulness or honesty that may exist in the next moment. For that is either a fear or a fantasy. But the honesty of this moment. That honesty that needs absolute awareness. That honesty that is aware of all that there is without prejudice or dogma. Without rules or desires. Where the moment stretches into an eternity from one moment to another.

Yes, I have walked with my teachers and friends who have taught me so much. And tried to teach me meditation. They have moved millions to it. But I have another path. One of constant yearning. One of restless and honest yearning –

Stepping from one chaotic footstep to another, but hoping somehow that the unknown path so traveled finds harmony in the journey.

That”s what I want. The journey. That is honest to each step.

21 thoughts on “What do you want ? New Year Resolutions

  1. Shekhar,

    Your post is a good philosophical piece.

    “Life is a journey, not a destination”.

    As for me, I have to work on more mundane tasks like getting a job, cleaning my basement, etc.

    Happy New Year!

  2. From action to thoughts to the thinker…and then there is no journey. Some day the body/mind will drop away on is own like a burnt up rope.

  3. Dear Shekhar,

    Here’s a story I would like to share with you:
    One day, King Pasenadi of Kosala went to the Jetavana monastery after having his full morning meal. It was said that the king had eaten one quarter basket (about half a bushel) of rice with meat curry on that day; so while listening to the Buddha’s discourse he felt very sleepy and was nodding most of the time. Seeing him nodding, the Buddha advised him to take a little less rice everyday and to decrease the amount on a sliding scale to the minimum of one-sixteenth part of the original amount he was taking. The king did as he was told and found that by eating less he became thin, but he felt very much lighter and enjoyed much better health. When he told the Buddha about this, the Buddha said to him,
    “O King! Health is a great boon; contentment is a great wealth; a close and trusted friend is the best relative; Nibbana is the greatest bliss.”
    Good health, contentment, at least one close and trusted friend, and the devotion, courage, and wisdom to attain Nibbana encompasses the best things in life. Because at the end of the day, all you REALLY need are these four things.
    Wish you and your family a wonderful new year!


  4. happy new year and best wishes to you and your family for a great 2012! i sent you a copy of my book, hoping the address was correct. i wanted you to read it…i hope it has reached you and if so, that you might find the time one day soon to open it up!

    take care,

  5. Difficult to add or subtract from the substance… well articulated thoughts… cheers

  6. Well said Shekharji. Specially the following can be the new year resolution for each one of us from year to year:
    “I want a healthy life for as long as I can. I want all my family and those I love to be happy and healthy. I want to everyone to happy and healthy. I want there to be peace in the world. I want the Planet to be a greener and less polluted place.”

  7. Desh, what a lovely tale, thank you for sharing.

    Shekhar, I find if I do one thing properly to my heart’s content, which in my case is write, then the rest sort of falls in place around that, ek satisfaction sa, centering sa. Regardless of the outcome, which is anyway in the universe’s hands.

  8. May you get what you really want and also to all – koizen wishes all a change in date of calander and hope a change occurs inside of you – your within and that affects your without….without mean world…and may you share and make this place a bettr place to live…love and reagards

  9. Shekhar,

    What do I want ? Or What does ‘I’ want?

    Ego transformation is Yoga, both the goal and the journey. Whereas constructing and maintaining and pampering the I , is the giveaway, the revealing feature of a Pasu ( Animal quality soul).

    Endless journeying, romanticising the ‘journey’ is the way of the incurable egotist, there can be no hope for such souls in many lifetimes, unless they evolve sipritually.

    Thats why the Real path takes lifetimes of spiritual evolution for egotist ( Pasu) souls. However dissolving the I , can resolve the ‘journey’ in one life time.

    This difficult choice , is always in the hands of the individual. This is the Vedic/ Yogic way.

  10. Mieke, I will advise you to not to bother much about the book. Everybody is busy creating their own whirlpool within and opposite to the main flow of four basic forces becoz no body wants to admit that he/she is simply a pawn in their hands. Pulverised all will begin to flow with the flow.

  11. Happy New Year Shekhar !
    A fantastic correlation of thoughts, your words portray the truth and the simplicity in the same go.
    May your journey be as lucid and truthful as you aspire 🙂

  12. Happy New Year Shekhar Kapoor
    I am very impressed with the content, especially on Social Networking. Internet has changed the life of a common man and he/she can do wonders if Internet is used properly. I am 80 years old and have been using Net since 1999. I feel the best friend on this earth is the Computer. One can express and see the reaction back [blogging].
    Best Wishes for you and your family for all the time, all the way
    Sunder Thadani from Shivaji Park, south Mumbai.

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