Is this where my father resided ?

As I lit my father’s funeral pyre and watched the flames consume his body, the priest handed me a long bamboo pole. To puncture the skull. To release his spirit, he said, but also the skull has a tendency to explode..

And then the unthinkable happened. The wood fell away and I watched as the exposed white fatty tissue of the brain began to bubble and melt in the intense heat. I called my sister to watch with me. Is this where my father resided, I asked ? In this piece of tissue ? Is this where his mind existed ? The mind of one of the best known peadraticians in India ? Is this where his passion, compassion and warmth for all the little children who’s life he devoted to saving existed ? Excuse me for not using the word soul, though I am so tempted to.
And is this where his love for his own children existed ? For me and you ? And with the brain extinguishing into flames, does that love no longer exist ?
And what about me ? Is that who I oved really ? That brain ? Was that the sum total of my father ?
Or is the truth something else. That the mind does not reside in the brain. That emotions do not reside in the mind. That that which we call love and memory and emotion exists in a realm beyond the physical body. More then just synapses of neurons that express themselves through chemical reactions

8 thoughts on “Is this where my father resided ?

  1. hi dude…
    one of the best experinces i have ever heard…it sounds so REAL…because it is real…it happened…( ‘is real’ and ‘happened’- dont get locked into TIME- seems you are obsessed with that foolish term called TIME- the answer is right there in this EXPERINCE of yours…observe)
    towards the end again Shekhar’analysing’ Kapur poped up…it is so uncessesary it seems…it brings down the whole experince to the level of postmortum.
    the most important thing here is the experince of LOVE ( this time its for your father)… and the realisation hit you after seeing the burning tissues. ( how very Zen in nature to hit LOVE this time Shekahr!!!)
    read it over and over again…your words have POWER…look at your self-questioning…every time you are either in Future or in Past through those questions…What has not shifted? LOVE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> it has remained in THE PRESENT>>>>>>>>>>>> and PRSENT IS ETERNITY….TIME is either past or future. it can not be PRESENT. ( why science failed and will fail because of this!)
    Memory is again about TIME… Emotion is again about TIME…LOVE is NOT TIME. IT IS!
    you are demeaning LOVE by saying LOVE for your father. you had capability to LOVE. but we are always afraid to just be IN LOVE. we need some one or something to love. and then after that person is gone or that thing is gone , we are left with pain. enjoy the pain but be happy to be in LOVE. and your famous smile will turn into laughter. and some one will ask you why are you laughing and you would say ‘ i am in deep pain because i am recalling my dead father whom i loved so much’. because then you will in LOVE and wil be recalling love for your father. you will be PRESENT in that moment forever!!!
    we are always afraid to love! tell yourself that you are in love and your MIND will force to think up of some one or something or tell some one that you are in LOVE and the person will ask you in return ‘with whom?’……..we cant just be in LOVE!
    because just being in LOVE is a very dangerous thing to happen, the most beautiful at the same time…you need not do anything after that…MATRIX breaks when it happens….you are in present and then its Unbearable lightness of being…one becomes afraid of ETERNITY…afraid of NOTHINGNESS…EGO is a wonderful thing…it remians even when the person HITS the core of realisation…because the person is still realsing that he has realised, so HE is still there…and then that subtle EGO has power to creat the whole universe…BANG… pulled back to reality…
    you feel love and BANG you are pulled back by yourself and you say love for father…this happens with artists so often and hence they appear to be moody or mad to others…but they are HITTING and coming back often.
    again IT is right there in this experince of yours!!!!!!! JUMP…
    take care…lots of love…tata…kedar…

  2. hi Shekhar
    do you know why the mind is given the highest position in our body because this is the most senstive tool to explore our wisdom. One thing that i totally disagree with you our intelligence can not derive answers of every question we generate. so when you talk about your father’s presence It is not the neurons that can help you to find out you father’s mind. IT is the existance of you at this very moment that defines you r someone’s issue. and you need another upcoming moment to prove that. Nothing could ever help you to prove anyone’s presence. like imotions it flows between the lines. like memory it always resides in your mind, like your feelings it always stays with your musings.
    Deepak Naresh

  3. Dear Shekhar
    I know you lost your father more than a year ago. But your thoughts sound recent, as if this happened this past weekend. The exactness of your descriptions, your bringing your sister into the story, and the freshness of the writing, which uses verb tenses that imply the very recent past, are surprising when found within your apparently dispassionate, analytical and somewhat distant musings about the memory of your father, his finest attributes, and ideas about where people reside, in terms of their souls or spirits. These bits of fresh reality stand out like almonds in a rice pudding., and convey unresolved emotion to me. I think you’re still deeply involved with the loss of your father, and in this writing, you’re dancing with grief, at arm’s length.
    love, Heather

  4. Hi Shekar, Just got back form the Toronto Film Festival back in New York. I know this may sound irrelevant to the post but one quote keeps coming to me after I read your post, a quote by Bruce-Lee from the film big boss “Don’t think Feel, It is like a finger pointing away to the moon.. Don’t concentrate on the finger or you will miss all the heavenly glory,Never take your eye of the opponent even when you bow (i.e. Life)Just a little martial arts wisdom 🙂
    I also wanted to ask you, If you have seen a film called “What the bleep do we know” it a film on quantum physics if you have not I can get you a copy. Also I would humbly urge you to see a film called “Loose Change” you can view this film at the link below.(you can cut & paste)
    There is a second edition too.

  5. u know sometimes its just words we use..thru which can transform a thing or a thought into something really different…see its upto us whether we call a body -a composite package of neurons, vessels, veins etc..all complicated stuff..or we call it a living mobile sculpture made of thoughts, emotions, energy, etc…
    its all abt taking our perceptions through the right direction…

  6. hi there,
    i saw the flames of the pyre of my father when i was 10,someone was holding me,the flames were very high,with black smokes….and after that every day for the next 13 days i went with my uncle,and witnessed the whole pind,daan…which was meant to appease the soul…i had my 11th b,day on one such day…the place was still full of dust…now its 12 years,i carry my dad,s name..still his daughter,still finding him….still wondering where my father,the man..lies..the graveyard is all a grassy land now..its wet in rain and dry in the sun…where does my father lie

  7. my bro
    ur father lies were the river flows underneath
    ,where the tree called “seedra” is groomed, were the sound “peace” echoing in the air ,wre the babies looks like daimonds ,wre angles fly ,in the kingdome of an Emperor Lord of the Throne of Glory,whose the most benafciant and most greatfull,how beutifull and worthy the destinination is

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