Love, my friend

What good is your love ?

What good is your love ?
my friend
if it does not mirror
that which I don’t know
about myself ?
What good is your love,
my friend
if I cannot prostrate myself
to the God of vulnerability
in your presence ?

50 thoughts on “Love, my friend

  1. And if it were so
    Would you
    Tremble like a drop of water on a dark green lotus leaf
    Just because it is?
    Would you
    Become the vanished river
    I once wanted to be?
    Would you then
    Stich all the shards of broken mirrors
    I gather around myself for warmth?

  2. Aainon se zara dhuul tuu saaf kar
    khud se aankhen mila, do ghadi baat kar
    DoonD laana mujhe apne ehsaas se
    mujhko tu jaanle khud ko pehchaan kar

  3. Dost Shekhar
    premno adhikaar naa maangish
    poochhi le jaraa pratibimb ne
    suraj sam hoonph paamavaa
    sholaa chingaari bani
    tapa karavu pade
    har raate
    prem ke adhikaar naa maangon
    poochh lo jaraa pratibimb se
    suraj jaisi hoonph paane ko
    shola chingaari bankar
    tapa karanaa pade
    har raaton
    don’t ask of the right for love
    just ask your own reflection
    to get warmth of the sun
    being spark of fire
    must do penance
    each night
    ~ written with love
    to all my friends
    on valentine eve
    February 13 06

  4. long time since i dropped by…busy in small things of life.
    how have you been?? Love – great topic for endless discussions…love is all acceptance and release from bondages that we chain ourselves in..
    take care

  5. [quote]
    What good is your love,
    my friend
    if I cannot prostrate myself
    to the God of vulnerability
    in your presence ?
    Awesome! Something we all struggle with everyday.
    It takes great strenght to be vulnerable.

  6. And the other side of the same soul could say:
    What good am I if I’m like all the rest,
    If I just turned away, when I see how you’re dressed,
    If I shut myself off so I can’t hear you cry,
    What good am I?
    What good am I if I know and don’t do,
    If I see and don’t say, if I look right through you,
    If I turn a deaf ear to the thunderin’ sky,
    What good am I?
    What good am I while you softly weep
    And I hear in my head what you say in your sleep,
    And I freeze in the moment like the rest who don’t try,
    What good am I?
    – Dylan

  7. hi shekhar,
    love, u ask
    it’s a feeling
    that’s not shown
    but expressed
    but what’s love
    it’s still unknown
    hope u like my version of poem
    wishes~ smita

  8. love….is inspiration…like an angel it lifts you up in its arms and carries you across the long dark journey called life….. love is a bright light…it shows you the way…thank you God for love……

  9. How do you know that you are in LOVE? Can two very close friends fall in love (male&female)? How can we tell that it is not freindship love its soul love?
    Small expample:- A man, married for 4 years, has a two year old boy has female best best friend for years, one day he wakes up discovers he is hit by a very unsuall feeling. Goes and relates it to his friend. She being a good friend says maybe its a phase and its nothing you are married and I do’nt think of you in that way which she was honest about she din’nt. The man wants to shake of the feeling but is drifted towards his friend. The feeling is so strong that he could give up his wife, family his son for his freind that he feels so much in love with, but his friend says she is a friend and a friend only. 3 years pass the friends remain friends but the man’s life is totally torn! Is he in love? the answer comes as, “There is nothing more painful than sitting next to the person you LOVE and cannot tell him/her how much you miss him/her. When people say love hurts am sure they do not what they are talking about its beyond hurt!
    One question I always ask Why do my feelings for you go beyond friendship? When clearly that’s all we’ll ever have.
    Yes love is the greatest power of all that make or breaks.May be love makes breaking easy.
    Can we be in love with friend YES! would i do it again YES.

  10. hey sahib, would u mind if i Posted your comment on my main blog ? What u have been feeling happens to so many people I know and even I have been through it at some time. I know everyone would want to share this with you. Shekhar

  11. Love is friendship; words like passion, feelings, sentiments do play a role but for a short period of time, Love is all about growing old together, helping eachother climb the higher goals of life, I believe in three C’s Comfort, Compatibilty, Commitment.

  12. DEAR …….
    love is painfull
    I am going to loss my love
    within 1 month
    I Love her
    I need her

  13. the word love gives rise to so many questions in my mind…maybe it is foolish to try to understand love but i will try anyway…i know love is amazingly beautiful and painful and powerful at the same time.. But i cannot understand that… why is there almost always something that one is supposed to want more than love? Why is wanting love not enough? why is love not enough? why must there be a greater ambition in life for a person even when he does not want more…why is it so difficult to be able to admit and say with pride all i want is love? is this failure…is success in other worldly terms the only true success…is love dispensable? And so if i feel that truly all i want is love why then should i seek that which the world tells me i am supposed to seek… am i not practical? But when was love ever practical……………

  14. love……..
    Sometimes we feel that we can express love but no we can’t we cant explain that imotions or even the importance of that person in our life. for me love is everthing ‘my life’

  15. what is love…..
    love is something which leads you to know better
    love is something without a single word you can understand each other
    love is something without any reason u missed a person very much
    love is something althaugh u know u can’t get that person still u love
    especially love is something u can’t express it by words. But still u want to express it by words or by eyes. I believe eyes are very imp for expressing of love which says many things which u can’t says by words. sometimes we are speechless at that time eyes speak. what do u think? right …….

  16. Love….something infinite
    Love is just a four letter word that takes a second to say but a lifetime to prove.
    Love is stronger than any addiction……as a matter of fact it is one.

  17. In response to Post 14 by Sahib.
    Right On. What you have narrated above happens to many people. No matter what… Love remains.
    Its rightly said, “Once you love, you cannot take
    it back, cannot undo it. What you
    felt may have changed, shifted slightly,
    yet still remains love….

  18. Hi Shekhar,
    Your poem has helped me face something i have sidestepped for years:
    “What good is your love?
    my friend
    if it does not mirror
    that which I don’t know
    about myself ?”
    I had one such friend. One who did reflect things i did not know and things i did not want to see about myself.
    She was the mirror that exposed me to myself.
    No dark corner to hide, no room to escape.
    Her observations
    i could not stop with bluster
    For they were neither criticism nor advice
    i could not blindside with charm
    for she was not overwhelmed by me
    i could not will unsaid
    as i did with people who could not stand to hurt me
    There was nothing to do but to face those thruths
    for she cared,
    she spoke kindly,
    and gave solutions.
    Now a decade later i look back in life
    with regret on the day i broke up with her
    stating she was too good for me.
    All i knew then was that I was uncomfortable
    I know now that i broke up because
    with her
    i could not hide from myself.
    i could not love myself when i was thus exposed.
    what i failed to understand was
    She would have loved me anyway
    i would be a better person today.
    So my frined if on any day u read this
    u will know why i walked away
    and forgive me for the pain i regret till this day.
    Thank you, Shekhar
    – Shiva

  19. shiva, yr message is really heartfelt and I was wondering if i could put it up as blog. May I ? shekhar

  20. Shekharji,
    Love was in two places for me.
    When I was taking five and a half hour flights to the other coast to see him – And when I was not, it was embedded within every moment I savoured in each day.
    It was with me when I prepared food in the evenings, pouring along with the ingredients the mantra, dedications, for all sentient beings – and for my beloved.
    It was with me when I intoxicate myself with laughter, my baby nephew’s pudgy embraces, comforting cups of hot milk tea, and humming songs on the way to work – It still remains with me as my eyes silently begin to cloud with tears when I pass the Embarcadero, and unwantingly, when I am in a bus full of strangers. I pretend it is an allergy.
    It was with me as I opened my heart and vulnerabilities like two cut halves of anar. (That is what we do when we love, isnt it? Expose our vulnerabilities?) – It is still with me as I mend it again. Nurture it again…
    Love is bliss and pain, especially when it is lived both in physical distances…and when it is lived within the Mind.
    This attachment is root of my suffering, yet bittersweet. I move on because I can say to myself that I have loved – and been loved.
    Love was in two places for me.
    Who knows how many times more? It might just continue to be this way, until I think I get it right.
    May you have highest happiness, Shekharji. Your words are emanations of love and compassion itself.

  21. Tara, thank u. love is meant the weapon we use to battle the structure of the mind. Never mind that we feek pain. Better not to live a lie. Ou of pain will come a deeper understanding of the self. Love is the mirror. Shekhar

  22. Many Thanks for your Poem, Shekhar!
    I am profoundly in love with my friend, and even when knowing that love to be impossible, I still love her from the depths of my being… Our age difference make that love impossible, yet I know in a strange and mysterious way that we share this feeling, in the same way that we share food and warm conversations. There is pain here, the pain of being unable to physically express this love; yet it is a pain that is rendered bearable and honorable because I would rather love her silently than hurt her with my words… words are not needed to express our love, just eyes and expressions and little naunces. Love is truly a mirror that reflects those unknown aspects of our being, the magical gate though which we can manifest the greatness and weakness of our being… Paradoxically, it allows us to be Noble, Great, Strong and Vulnerable all at the same time! Qoute: “Once you love, you cannot take
    it back, cannot undo it” I truly believe this.
    Your new friend, Ruben

  23. I’m a litle tired of people talking about love
    Don’t be offended.
    But I think that if love should be found in tetrapacks on supermarket shelves,
    We’d all just shrug and help ourselves to some.
    Brad pitt will leave angelina jolie sooner than later.
    If he doesn’t he’s probably just sticking it out for the kids anyway.
    And men will stray and women will play.
    And children continue to learn it all lasts the fairytale way.
    And it’s all said too much.
    And too soon.
    And too loudly.
    And touches don’t linger.
    And looks don’t smoulder.
    And tears don’t trickle down lover’s cheeks anymore.
    And there are too many women on too many hoardings.
    And too many ways to say ‘I love you’ in way too many magazines.
    And too many ways to make your man moan…
    There is an old gypsy curse,
    ‘May you get what you want’
    I think… most of us do.

  24. What is love? When we claim that it’s love that we have for someone, are we correct? Something to ponder upon….. Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest? It isn’t love, it’s like. You can’t keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right? It isn’t love, it’s lust. Are you proud, and eager to show them off? It isn’t love, it’s luck. Do you want them because you know they’re there? It isn’t love, it’s loneliness. Are you there because it’s what everyone wants? It isn’t love, it’s loyalty. Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand? It isn’t love, it’s low confidence. Do you stay for their confessions of love, because you don’t want to hurt them? It isn’t love, it’s pity. Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat? It isn’t love, it’s infatuation. Do you pardon their faults because you care about them? It isn’t love, it’s friendship. Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of? It isn’t love, it’s a lie. Are you willing to give all of your favourite things for their sake? It isn’t love, it’s charity. Does your heart ache and break when they’re sad? Then it’s love. Do you cry for their pain, even when they’re strong? Then it’s love. Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts? Then it’s love. Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you there? Then it’s love. Do you accept their faults because they’re a part of who they are? Then it’s love. Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret? Then it’s love. Would you allow them to leave you, not because they want to but because they have to? Then its love. Would you give them your heart, your life, your death? Then it’s love. Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we love? Why is it all we search for in life? This pain, this agony? Why is it all we long for? This torture, this powerful death of self? Why? The answer is so simple cause it’s…LOVE. It is such an addiction that even people who are not having it wish to experience and share it with someone!

  25. dear shekhar daag-e-dil humko yaad aane lage. loog apne diye jalane lage . kuch na paakar bhi mutmain ha hum.ishq mai haath kya khajane lage.

  26. Hi shekhar sir
    ab love ke bare mai kya kahe, yeh khud itna deep hai ki dube rahe man karta hai, pyar, ishq, mohabbat, prem sabhi to woh lamhe hai jo kisi ka dil…………chance comes to those who know what they want?

  27. Dear Shekhar,
    I am writing an article on Bombay and wanted to reference to your reply in form of poem (i guess) that was published in Times of India when some people accused you of showing nudity in The Bandit Queen. Your poem was related to women defecating on railway track and how sensible people dont do anything about.
    It will be helpful if you send me it or the detail of publication.

  28. i truly love your posting choice, very remarkable.
    don’t quit as well as keep writing seeing that it simply truly worth to follow it.
    looking forward to look over even more of your well written articles, thankx!

  29. We both are married. We are very close. She knows I love her intensely. She has told me that I can sweep her away. But over the last few months, I have been going through the hell of witnessing her love someone else… She cares for me so much that she wont break my heart, but she doesnt love me, I know that. So she hides behind the futility of acknowledging due to our proximity and thus the repurcussions on people we care for.
    Understanding all these, the toughest part is watch her be with someone else. Just lost my will to live.

  30. This is so coincidental but late, when I was desperately and madly in love with a man, I always wanted a part of him should be like, Shekher Kapur. He was jealous of this man (SK) whom he never met and knows nothing about. Later I never could explain what are the attributes, what are the qualities that I admire or love about Mr. Kapur whom I also have never met only watched his films, reviews and write ups…is it enough to make a judgement about a person? Can Mr. Kapur be the benchmark to get a boyfriend or a husband. I never knew but I always knew my man was jealous and he could find one remark to put Mr. Kapur down and that was, ‘he made a commercially flop film’…life goes on, jealousy fades away, practicality takes place, even the soulmate changes…but the dream of having a soul mate as charming and as poised like Shekhar Kapur remains…such a greedy thought…but hey, its called….love…all the way, unconditionally.

  31. Hello Mr. Kapur,
    It was a chance encounter that I came across your blog and was delighted to read through some of your oeuvre. I am a student at the University of Bonn, in Germany and am presently writing my thesis for a M.A.
    The thesis is based on the concept of hygiene and racism/positive eugenics. A couple of years ago, when your classic, The Bandit Queen was released and (not surprisingly) banned or such by the Censor Board you had written a scathing and hard hitting poem about how, we, the middle class, avert our eyes from all that is unpleasant (women defecating on roadsides). I have trolled the Net in vain search of that masterpiece and would be very very glad if you could mail it to me, I would be honored if you permit me to include it in my thesis.
    Several thanks and kind regards

  32. Dear Gauri, Like a lot of what I write, I have no record of it, though I do remember the piece. If I find it anywhere I will post it for you, and thank you for your words, Shekhar

  33. Dear Mr. Kapur,
    Several thanks for your reply and i hope (keep my fingers and toes crossed) that you find it. Have a wonderful christmas and a lovely 2012.

  34. Pranaam Shekhar ji

    ‘Lessons on Love’…subah sochti rahi, kahin to padha hai… fir yaad agaya. I enjoy reading your blog!
    Love – most talk about…True love – yes, it does exist. Love is always in our heart. We are each given the profound gift of love, that we carry in our hearts, they are not our own, they are meant to be shared, a gift of the self in love to the other. Let us lift up our hearts to embrace that love and to share it with all we may encounter.

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