It’s 5.20 am and am struggling to sleep in my hotel room in San Hose. Jet lag ? No, something else is nagging me – and then it comes like a bolt, a sudden sharp, almost physical feeling of sadness. It Heath’s 2nd Anniversary of his passing.
For those that know this blog, will know of my special relationship with Heath. Well, that survives time. Even through the sadness and heavy heart I sense him laughing and smiling almost looking down and saying “Get on with it, Mate !”
Lots of other things come to mind. What do two years mean ? What does passing of time mean ? How little or more have I achieved in the last two years. How productive have I been – and all this on context of Heath’s passing as if time stopped there and started again ? Is what you have done, or what has happened, or the events that have taken place since the only measure of time ? Or is there something far more eternal about time ?
Tonight I am going to LA and having dinner with Orando Bloom. The last time we met was in Heath’s friend’s pad in Melbourne, where Heath was proudly showing a rough cut of Four Feathers to all his friends. So proud was he of his performance in a film that actually did very little at the box office.
So I am just going to look up at Heath’s smiling face and say “Hey, Mate ! We are still down here trying undersatnd it all” Trying to imitate his broad Australian drawl.
Life if incomplete is complete maybe I guess And I stop searching answers for such questions. Will I be able to find? I doubt. The best God’s gift living beings has/have is to smile And to fall tears. All I wish to enjoy both. Anyways, painful to read. Prayers.
RIP Heath Ledger…we love you!
Where r u in San Jose ?
Heath Ledger (The tresure of Talent)
2 Years (Time flies fast)
A Dear Friend and Younger brother to you
Sure he is and will be in good space in spirit and the lovely soul
Shekhar your journey moves ahead in life, reality
You can be close to realizing “IT”
Wish your search for “Truth” be nurished, accomplished.
FYI,
Sometimes news does highlight good contributions of people …
“Sourabh Shukla got his first break in Shekhar Kapur directed Bandit Queen has also acted in the Oscar winning Slumdog Millionaire and is upbeat about his future … ”
Welcome to San Jose. I live there. Are you liking the rain ?
Dear Shekhar,
I checked your blog today to see if you had posted something about it and sure enough you did. I think time has stopped for a lot of us on this day 2 years ago. Your words have been a comfort to me these past two years, as I keep coming back to them. Your question, “how productive have I been?” is a pertinent one. How is it that his soul has flown free, yet so many of us are “stuck” in that moment in time, that moment when he left? It’s time to get unstuck, at least for me. It’s a process.
My thoughts are with his family and true friends on this most painful day.
I knew i had to stop by your blog today…Those were some beautiful words!
“…Heath’s passing as if time stopped there and started again?”
Your statement stopped me in my tracks when I read your entry. It does seem as if time stopped when I heard the news; it was a shock to our system. But when I read your closing it brought happy tears to my eyes. He is missed and we remember….always in our hearts.
It seems like Heath is still with us. His performance in the Imaginarum of Doctor Parnassus is brilliant. What an amazing actor. We will miss seeing his incredible work on the silver screen, however, just look at his beautiful daughter Matilda and you’ll see Heath.
We miss you mate!
.
God Bless Heath’s soul.
Waqt ke sitam kam haseen nahin, Aaj hain yahan kal kahin nahin.
Sir, iF you get a chance to come to NY or NJ, drop me a line, Will love to meet you and take you around.
Peace!
Sanjay
He must have been quite a person and have lived quite a life to be missed thusly.
A salute, and peace.
Dear Shekhar,
Heath is still alive because he is in our hearts!
Thanks for sharing this special memory of Heath.
RIP Heath, 2 years. =\
i, like so many others cried when Heath died. I did not know him, i’ve never met him. But, i admired his work greatly!! The Four Feathers is my favorite Heath film; i thought he did a fantastic job at lead.. and i promote this film whenever i can… as a movie to find, buy and cherish!!
RIP Heath Ledger u r missed
“The Four Feathers” if my favorite movie that Heath was in. I think it is good to honor those who have touched us so deeply and intimately. And I think to live our own destinies is another way. Heath was an example of following his destiny. He was happy and stepped through his fears to do so.
The universe tends to unfold as it should sir, there are things that our beyond our control.
Time is such a paradigm that is constantly looking over our shoulder to see what we’re doing. It’s a construct that makes us actually question the efficiency of our work, I suggest you do not question your productivity of the last two years but look ahead, take your time and create a masterpiece with Paani. I’m sure that is what Mr Ledger would want you to do as well.
And to Mr Ledger’s family and friends I offer my heartiest condolences and may he be in peace.
Dear Shekhar,
If I have an 8-page idea of a Film I want to make and nothing else- no money,no contacts,no sreen-play writing talent.How do I go about it?
Will appreciate a response.
Thankyou.
I just saw your twitter page and find it wonderful that in some strange way Heath is still present in your life. You having dinner with Orlando Bloom who he made Ned Kelly with and then you mentioned Abbie Cornish and she was in Candy with Heath another wonderful yet overlooked movie. I think your tribute to him was lovely and it’s nice to know that you still think of him.
Dear Kim, not easy to forget Heath, not only for me but for so many people around the world. That night Abbie, Orlando, and many of his friends came by at my hotel – the girl that was his partner at the little production company, Heath’s ex personal assistant etc, all of them got together and we raised a toast to him. Heath actually was a great photographer, and I wonder if there was a way we could gather his pictures together and do an exhibition here LA or in NY,
shekhar
“Heath actually was a great photographer, and I wonder if there was a way we could gather his pictures together and do an exhibition here LA or in NY.”
Yes, yes, yes!!! It would be absolutely wonderful if someday in the future the public would be able to see his photography!
Dear Shekhar
I can just picture Heath showing off ‘The Four Feathers’ to his mates…. that just made me smile – thank you so much for sharing this π I can see why he would have been so proud of it – it’s such a very special peace of work. I think the only reason the box office did not reflect this is because people were not awake enough to appreciate its profound wisdom.
I went to see John Edward a few months ago (very enlightening experience) and he came up with an explanation of the purpose of death, which I found very interesting. He essentially said it was a way for a one’s soul to find out just how much they meant to others, to fully realise how valuable and loved they are. Heath was very humble but also very self-critical – imagine how loved he must be feeling now, with so many people still yearning and aching for his presence…
I believe death is a mere interruption and that somewhere down the track we’ll all reunite and celebrate.
Thanks again for sharing your thoughts Shekhar.
I’m writing this from Melbourne, in a very similar situation to where I was at two years ago: with a novel to finish, and the unshakable thoughts of someone dear lost is overwhelming and all consuming. There remains something paralyzing about it… as Alicia wrote above, it’s like time has stood still, the shock still reverberating and although I know I should move on the fact that I can think about him with such feelings of sorrow and sadness is a testament to how gifted an artist he was — and perhaps he is eternal this way, as if he left the best of himself to endure the passage of time and show us all what can be achieved in life and art. Still, I will forever wonder what could have been.
The Four Feathers remains my favourite Heath film (with Brokeback a close 2nd). It captured his innocence and his wisdom and showed a profound character journey. I wish it would get another global theatrical release; it is a story with so much to say.
Thanks.
Dear Shekhar,
I didn’t knew Heath personally, but he was such an inspiration for me, a real role-model, and I think with him as one, I shouldn’t have been afraid of anything!
I know what you mean about the physical feeling of sadness. I think I have it since that day of January two years ago. I won’t get over it ever, and my words now are true and and I say them with really meaning them, not just to say them.
I must confess I have visited your blog, rare times, and now is one of them. The other was one year before. But I know for sure that you had a special realationship or maybe better say connection with Heath. I’m glad that you still keep it in your heart.
“Get on with it, Mate!” – that is sure a thing he would say to you, and with a smile to all of us who feel so brokenhearted with his loss the past two years.
Sure probably is smiling with feelings of accomplishment and touched by all this love, turning his eyes to the floor and feeling akward and blessed for all this love, which probably he could not have predicted and experienced it, at least on such a large scale when he was still with us.
I can feel also what you say about the time and the passing of it, and as an artist I can also confirm you that since “he’s not there” I have stayed “behind” and away from my passion lately. At least since then. But I try to do things.
I hope you had a good time with Orlando, Abbie and any other friends of H. – Orlando is such a wonderful creature, and only the few people who have the pleasure to really know him are aware of him, I can tell you that, as I am a fan of him too, since I first saw him, in 2001.
I wish I could watch this rough cut of FF with Heath and you, that would be such an experience. And of course he should be proud about it. Because Harry Faversham and the film itself is a great underrated piece of art.
It is such a strong film on so many levels, and that sometimes in our days is a reason alone to not given the attention it deserves. It is ony of my most favorites, and especially with his unique performance on it. I never understand why it wasn’t given more attention to that film… I’m still wondering about it.
Finally, yes we all still try to understand many things and be more realistic some times about it, but why we can’t just be dreamers? I think we have that option, especially for a situation like this. I don’t think I’ll have enough answers to my “Why” about his loss ever.
And you are right: “Not easy to forget Heath, not only for me but for so many people around the world.” can’t agree more with you! Please do the photo exhibition!
By a Heath Ledger admirer for many years that passed and for the years that are gonna come,
John.
~I miss you more than ever ‘mate’! ~ “Anything interesting up there in heaven?” ~
heath ledger: so much achieved in such little time.
John, your letter just blew me away – so straight from the heart and so perfect…
I hope I didn’t give the impression that I found any answers, just wanted to share something that resonated with me π
Shekhar, if there’s any way at all, it would be just so wonderful if you could somehow publish unseen footage of Heath. It would be such a priceless treasure for so many… Thank you so much for all you have shared to date π
I loved the Four Feathers, I never understood why it never got the recognition it deserved. You and Heath did a wonderful job.
For me as a fan Heath’s passing just knocked me for a loop. I hadn’t felt that way since my parents passed. I didn’t realize that Heath had taken up a place in my heart that has a hole in it.
I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you, knowing Heath personally and being so close.
I think Heath would have wanted us to go on and live our lives, remember him sure but to honor him by living on.
Through some of us consciousness seeks to leave an effect, a little longer. Through Heath it surely seems to have for many.
we can celebrate how, life through people like him and others offers you and me, the wonderous variety of its expression.
and maybe also recognise, We are not the operators of consciousness. But are its display, is it not?
Shekhar ji: Did you just tell us in your earlier post on this section that you and some of heath ledger’s friends got drunk on the night he died?! I am sorry to hear that! At least you; of all the celebs; could have suggested/shown/taught a humbler method of offering Shradhanjali to your hollywood buddies! Personally this turns out to be a teachable moment:)
Thank you Rosa for your lovely words! I feel flattered now. I didn’t express my feelings about Heath much, and only lately I decided to give it a try. He meant so much for me. Probably someone who hears that now is thinking “yes ok, whatever” but he did. I’m still devastated by his death and the thoughts of what he might have done if he was still here… Everytime he is coming to my mind all these things come also with him now, and it’s painful. But I guess, if you can’t change something, you have to accept and live with it. That’s life.
But I’m not staying in his death, most times I cherish & remember Heath Ledger as the young pationate inspired man who crossed Australia in order to have his dream come true, the actor, the not-your-typical Hollywood star, the director, the photographer, the chess player, the political & environmental activist, the actor who wasn’t afraid to play the homosexual and be there to defend the right to love without gender and any other ‘obstacle’, the friend who was always when there was a need for his friends, the lover, the charmer, the husband, the father, the son, the brother… and the list goes on and on. He was all that together in one lovely ‘package’. That’s why he was so special.
Some people didn’t understand it, because he was a private person and a natural shy guy (like me) who was only in the spotlight just to fulfill his passion which -I think- was to be different, to inspire and finally to make something that could be consider art – he was an artist above all in the end. These things are what Heath Ledger is on my mind – and probably even more that I’m not aware of.
Shekharji,
I like Deepak R’s comment very much.
Shekar,
I read your comments in one of the Indian newspaper or it was Outlook magazine may be.It said.. you do not think of a career, you like being an explorer..
Amazing!
Cheers!!
Saif
Thank you to everyone for your touching, beautiful and comforting comments about Heath. It΄s always a pleasure to read this blog.
Thanks for your comments, Shekhar. I will remember him on every anniversary of his passing. I will play “Old Man” by Neil Young on that day — hoping the music can reach him where he is. I will talk aloud to him once in a while — even if just to say “hello”….
Thank you for being a good friend to him during the short time he was earthbound.
Keep posting stuff like this i really like it
When the Joker passed away I wept! I loved his brand of entertainment and was a follower of his work.
Dear Shekhar,
it’s always a pleasure read the beautiful words you dedicate to Heath…they make me feel better and I’m happy that every year you write something to remember Heath on this bad day.
I discovered your blog after that tragic 22 January. Now I don’t know how to express, but my feelings are confused…sometimes it seems to me that just yesterday Heath was with us, like as the time stopped and it’s still too early to understand, sometimes instead I feel like if the time moves on and every day with all the chaos around us I have not the time to think about him regularly like I did before. I don’t like this sensation!!!!
It’s the first time I’m writing on your blog, I’m just a cinema’s lover and I loved follow every movies or every project of Heath, he was so unique, so different from any other, so special. I never had thought his life was so early interrupted. He was so full of energy.
It’s hard to express all the emotions I feel.
After his passing, I promised to myself to try to get what I want,without regrets, without fear, the life is so unique and unpredictable to waste time, it’s time to face the life.
Heath will be alive forever ’till we are here to remember, speak and love his films and his life.
Rest in peace, young cowboy.
Thanks Shekhar
Un abbraccio
Martina
Heath Ledger has died. These are believed to be amongst the last images of him filming on the set of the movie ‘The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus’ in London, a fantasy-adventure based around a traveling theater company.
I have not had the chance to get to your site recently. 22nd January passed and the sadness has stayed with me. I was at a loss as to what to do on the day. The vacuum since he has gone seems to have gotten bigger. However, it comforts me so much to read the posts and to see that Heath still inspires, touches and influences people as he did in life.
Thank you so much Shekhar for sharing your thoughts.
Time passes, grief takes on new shape, but one thing never changes, we miss you eternally Heath and will never forget you xx
“Heath actually was a great photographer, and I wonder if there was a way we could gather his pictures together and do an exhibition here LA or in NY.”
I think this HAS to be done. Simply has to.
Dear Shekhar ~
I’ve visited your website so often to, in a way, visit with my memories of Heath Ledger, or perhaps more honestly, to visit my memories of the feelings that Heath Ledger awakened in me each time I saw one of his films. The Four Feathers is one of my favorites, and it is such a shame, and yet so true of our times, that so many viewers of the movie could see only politics and could not see beyond to the beautiful soul of the main character and his personal story. Heath Ledger did such a remarkable job, in my opinion, of portraying a character deeply troubled by being asked to blindly follow someone else’s political agenda. The character let his emotions and heart lead him on a remarkable journey of self-realization. Ever since I saw that movie and Heath Ledger’s portrayal of Harry, and then saw Heath Ledger bring that same depth of character and humanity to his other films, I’ve hoped and wished that I could live my life that honestly.
On the second anniversary of his passing, I have to admit that I felt disappointed in myself that I have made such little progress. Yet, it makes it even more clear, once again, why so many people were so touched by his performances and by stories like yours of times actually spent in his presence. He had a gift … a gift of being honest to his very core. For those of us that recognized that in him, even from the distant seat of a viewer at one of his movies, I think I can speak for all of us in saying that we are still touched by his life.
I aspire to live that honestly, and I can only hope I will make more progress as time goes by. He made it look so easy, but it is truly so difficult.
Thank you again for your gift of telling a wonderful and meaningful story. I am very sorry for your very personal sense of loss. My heart goes out to his family and friends, because they know far better than I what has slipped their earthly grasp.
I recently saw “Four Feathers”.. something moved me in a strange way .. I saw “Cassanova”, “BBM” in the past, but this time it triggered something.. something ineffable .. I’m upset for two days: I ate only once, I slept quite a bit.. I constantly read articles, I have seen pictures, clips.. All about Heath…
Feeling that came over me is beyond emotion and crying.. I’ve never lived this.. very few beliefs, hopes, interests which I had about life, about the reality we live in, even about God, seems to have collapsed.. I want to cry, but I can’t.. I would like to shout, but who?.. I would like to go, but where?..
If an angel has visited us, why it was so brief visit?.. he wanted to tell us? we understand the message? especially, we recognized him?!..
Although, he was a man like us, with joys, anxieties, he was above us, by what he thought, felt, said and done, despite their age.. his play in film has charmed us, his smile had seduced us, his eyes showed us the truth in his heart.. whether and how/when he left, were more than dramatic, indescribable.. undoubtedly, he showed us, in many ways, an almost frightening truth and beauty..
We can call him anyway: old soul in young body, angel, embodied honor.. I will simply say: Heath.. if I still believe in something, now that’s because Heath..
Heartbroken, I will try to understand something of what he wanted to convey by what he gave us and I hope to meet him soon, even if I went a little over age where he probably had to go.. if here he made me feel so happy, “out there” certainly will be more wonderful than that..
Here, now, even if the world is empty without him, our journey continues stubbornly, even if it has no charm and no fun..
Thank you for all Heath and… see you soon!
I doubt we’ll ever understand why. He obviously didn’t really mean to go, and we wouldn’t let him go.