I thought, hey ! this should be fun. Go in and sit on a chair and just say whether you liked an act or not, and get paid for it. I saw other directors do it and it looked pretty easy. Just shows how little I know myself. For all my writings on the search for the universal self I forgot my emotional self and how and why I am a director.
I just could not stop myself from getting emotionally involved with the contestants, their dreams, their lives, their courage in putting themselves on the line in front of the whole nation and face applause or ridicule.
I could not stop myself from admiring and responding from some place very deep inside me to those that came on the show with disabilities, for they mirrored my own, albeit hidden from view and without physical manifestations. I could not help responding to the humility with which many of the contestants presented themselves, sublimating their ego completely to their art, or their performance. And I could not help resenting the ego that we judges often showed as if the show was about us and not about the contestants.
I found a new India out there, and India that we in urban areas do not usually come into contact with. Our media ignores that India. This is the aspirational India, the India of laborers and artisans who came to the show with centuries of tradition handed down from generation to generation. It was Indians that live a life of economic and social oppression, and yet are able to find such dignity and art in their expressions. It is the India that seldom gets noticed and I thank the producers of the show for that opportunity.
I apologize if I come across a bit weepy and emotional on the show. Through this show I was reminded of my roots, of who I really am, and where my true beliefs lie. They lie amidst the humility of my people, my country.
And I thought judging a talent show would be easy !!!