41 thoughts on “looking for love

  1. Dear Shekhar,
    We really do not know where exactly to find love, so we try all over the place. Sometimes we can get detached and make providence the driver, and sometimes love comes to you, but we always feel whether this is right or not. I think love is like creativity so we’re always a bit discontent (we strive for utopia), and hence the doubt, just like an artist is never truly satisfied with his/her creation.
    I think with time we realize that we’re really in love, through co-incidences/indicators by God, or just the persistence of feelings in our heart.
    Himanshu – New York

  2. Yeah , thats coz we have a big ‘Ego’ !
    Unwanted love is an oppression !
    Wanted Love always seems to belong elsewhere !
    Solution: Kidnap your love and scamper away to a lonely island …hehehe!

  3. The Warmth of the sun is lost,
    The mist grows impenetrable
    With each passing day …
    From the branches,
    Drips cold water
    Kissed by winter ,the flowers fall ………
    and this is what happens after you find love…..

  4. That was pretty profound. About looking too hard – isn’t it true that younger folks don’t look that hard- many stumble into it rather too soon and foolishly, but as one gets older, and wiser, that’s when we look harder and harder…? Is that the perspective you are speaking from?
    Similarly – I feel the doubt as well is a result of our experiences. If we could shed all that gained “wisdom”, be born anew, maybe we won’t look that hard or doubt so much?
    Have you seen Venus – heard it’s about re-discovery of love (or maybe lust) at a ripe old age..

  5. Sorry Shekhar,
    Its another point of view…
    TO find love
    we never look hard
    to accept love,
    we doubt nothing…!
    blood in the veins
    beat in the heart
    runs for that..love
    all the time.
    If we look hard
    thats not the real love, we are looking for.
    LOVE = MEERA for krishna.
    I think the things which takes lot of one’s energy and efforts to achieve them are not for us.And thats not our love.
    sorry , but my point of view might change one day too.
    sanjay malhotra

  6. Lovely thought, Shekhar. Love, brings out the best. But still, love–undefined, that’s the best way. The more you try to regiment it, in words, feelings or sometimes even through expressions— spoils love and the feelings associated with it. Difficult to do, but any of you who have lost the person you loved will know this is one of the reason!

  7. Hi Shekhar,
    Thanks for maintaining this blog! I have been skimming through it for a few days now and I must say the threads you float and people who contribute here amount to a great reading experience and often has such a healing effect on so many thoughts and questions that never really get talked about in everyday life.
    I relate this post to another one you had a few days back about passion and practicality. Looking for love is such a passionate experience, it’s boundless, free and untamed..and this might be true for love in all forms. The exploration part is dominated by passion and so it is untamed and driven by a quest for infinite. But, its the acceptance part that’s tough and instills doubt. May be love was never meant to be tamed , may be pure passion said it is unconditional in all forms but the practicality part said balance it, nurture it, tame it, equate it with what is offered and hence doubt gets instilled in it..
    Atul – Ohio

  8. I have always wondered – even if you believe in it, what does it fetch you? I don’t remember anything about a previous birth, even if I had one. My only concern would be if I really did remember a previous birth, it is not likely to happen, but that would be greatly annoying. And as far as I can tell, animals don’t give a hoot. It doesn’t matter if I had one, and it doesn’t matter if I did really. So why the urge to ensure that a next birth is as good, or even why the urge to prevent a reincarnation (as in moksha)? It looks like the ancients burdened us with some concepts that we are still struggling to deal with, as if there aren’t enough other problems already in life. Is this kind of pondering a distraction – a way to get away from the real problems (if any) in life, so that instead of worrying about the present life, we can worry about a virtual life?

  9. i dont think we have to look too hard to find lokk mostly we dont see love even if its there.we refuse to accept,we doubt it,fear to make a commitment. Love is unconditional its a feeling which we have never try to hard just be there you will reach it

  10. A girl of dark complexion is she
    Ever ready to embrace,
    desirable in beauty,
    with delicately bulging breasts
    and long flowing hair!
    How can I forget her and be at rest?
    In her look is such longing
    as in the look of a new-born tender calf
    that longs to see its mother whose udders are ready to flow!
    The Eight Anthologies

  11. If you look for love, you can’t fall into it. It just happens, when it does, you simply fall into it. Love is about the only emotion, one recognizes after the fact.

  12. Very True .. But can one get out of this … how to love as it should be …

  13. love is an overwelming sensation of being, the capacity of not judjing, criing infront of the beauty of a sunset.
    love is compassion, love is striving for a better expression of self.

  14. Hi Shekhar,
    Love is some that is self confessed Neither we need to look for it nor we have to doubt for it . It comes as the way it wants . We cannot judge it by our experiences or its not a fairy tale every time. For love can be hard , love can be soft .. as love has to be unconditional. Nobody can master the love , even Gods have failed for it.
    So the question still remains unanswered where can you get true love that heal you pain . your sufferings.

  15. hi there…
    just felt like asking,i am a regular visitor of your site..as i go through the comments..boy all i see is people trying to seek an anwer within you..they try to relate to u..but the seek is always there..may be we all human want gods and heroes..and its a tragedy to be one.
    there is a buddha in every face,a zen in every life…enlighten thyself.

  16. paromita : we are all seeking. I am too.People do not look for an answer within me. The questions are to themselves, I am just the mirror. Or at the most the provoker of questions. Thank you for being a regular visitor. Shekhar

  17. Dear Shekharji
    What you said is very true – that when accepting love we doubt too much… but my question is how do you know that what you are looking at is what you want?

  18. yse it is doubt…. So the point here is to let what we think is love ( without any doubts) enter whether it is love or a phase … is it?

  19. It is said that its difficult to find true love but if you find one ensure you dont lose it…
    When you say we doubt too much to accept true love its very true…. we pass such bitter experiences for the reason we are so self-centered (i dont know if this makes any sense). I have never seen any person doing anything that does not benefit him/her. Probably thats life..
    I have known my friends who say their marriage is “Love Marriage” but when they talk about their spouse and his family i dont see love anywhere or when i see guys having extra marital affairs and say they had “Love Marriage” i wonder wat is it.
    Is extra marital affair acceptable ? is it possible for a human (irrespective of he/she being married) to genuinely fall in love more than once? if yes how do we justify that ?

  20. i fully agree with u tina, but have few things 2 say…the problem is how we define love and what we expect out of love…….the moment we feel in love we put tons of burden into it, we automatically attach things like possessiveness, monopoly, physical fidelity etc etc and stuff it up before even it blossoms…..we all love our parents, siblings so much…..all at one time…love is not exclusive…..but wen it comes 2 to our partners we expect them to just have a tunneled vision…….it is the chains of insecurity that bogg love down,,,,,,wen people are GF/BF things r so rosy but the moment commitment/marriage comes in……love silently gives way to friction, aggression…haha….wy does it happen?,,i dont know….maybe that romance lies in the ambiguity/uncertainty/mystry element and once thats gone, love goes too….i think most of the extra marital affairs happen bcause your looking for that ‘spark’ which has gone out of d relationship,…love i think is not a true reason for the affairs……acceptablty is totally different…it depends on d society we live in and how much we care about it….What do u say SHEK ?

  21. Never looked, it comes if it has to…accepted without doubt too…but then leaves one in doubt lol!
    All a state of mind they say, state of love is not from the mind i believe, if from the mind its “Sauda”
    Tis the reckless heart!

  22. Errm me pooof now…been gallavanting around too much!
    Do I see dat lopsided grin?
    Eh heh, me “Evil”

  23. Hello shekhar and all those who have commented.
    It is with a great relief that I have read all your comments. Its a pleasure to know that people are so liberated and open spirited. i welcome this.

  24. Love even comes without you looking for it, acceptance comes easily if the love has a depth. It will happen and acceptance will come only if it is all meant to happen.

  25. I have a long long desire to talk to you in person since I used to watch ur TV serial Udan that time I was a small Kid,as I am 27th Dec 1979 Born Girl From J&K.Please do let me know hot to interact with you,as I too write.

  26. Loving is..growing old together…
    I wanna make u smile
    whenever u r sad,
    carry u around
    when ur arthritis is bad,
    all I wanna do is
    grow old with u..

  27. its been nice to know someone like you… from far like this…and being able to see inside your head…and see these thoughts and at times nod silently saying yes…i have been exactly there…and so funny you too?! and sometimes just seeing some of my half formed thoughts crystallized here…glad to have accessed this blog

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