Sex and the Guru

With the internet raging with people wanting to search for sex video’s of the hapless Swami Nityananda having sex with a famous Tamil actress, you have to ask what this is all about ? While people express outrage all over India through acts of violence against him and his property, others desperately want to voyeur into the wanting to look at the act.
Why ? Watching a Guru having sex with with an overweight actress who’s face you cannot see is pleasurable ? What drives us ?
It is not possible to have a Guru unless YOU worship him or her. So in effect YOU create the Guru, YOU set the rules, YOU decide what the Guru practices in his or her daily life. And then when the Guru does not conform to YOUR expectations, and finally having created him, YOU destroy him.
We need to know that there is something beyond the mundane existence of our lines. We are scared of death. We are desperately afraid of that which we cannot comprehend of course, but mostly that which we can. Like failure or self loathing. Like disease and loss. We can comprehend these things, but are so mortally afraid of OURSELVES that we look for people who can take responsibility for our lives. And the first person that is willing to come out and say ” That’s my problem, and I will look after it” becomes your Guru. Unfortunately that is what more and more people are understanding ‘Faith’ as.
So a Guru has had sex. Who decided that he/she must not ? The Guru or you ? The Guru said it of course, but almost certainly in response to a need in you that if someone had to be ‘PURE’, then they must not have ‘SEX”. Why is Purity and SEX so closely related ? Why are we so afraid of sex, so filled with guilt about it that at the slightest provocation we are willing to destroy and revile other people over it on the one hand, and use it as tools of humiliation, conquest and rape on the other hand. I know a lot of people are going to be upset when I equate puritanical attitudes on sex with rape, but the provocations are fundamentally the same.
Some will say that a Guru must be above the 5 senses realm. But hey, it’s like saying that if he suffers pain and feels it, and dies of a heart attack or has cavities and has to have a tooth extracted, then he is a mere mortal and cannot be a Guru either. Why just sex and not hunger ? Why does no one object to the sheer luxury and wealth that surround our most successful Guru’s? A Guru is a realized soul, they will say without the slightest understanding of that actually meaning. I am not sure I do, but I can certainly say that merely changing your clothes into expensive designer ‘Guru Fashion”, being able to give long lectures that appease and assuage your guilt and fears, and not having sex does not mean realization.
I do not deny the existence and possibility of beings that have come to experience their Universal Selves. Who are now existing constantly in a full experience of their lack of individuality. But what’s sex got to or not got do with that? What do we know about that state to be able to say it is sex less ?
As I said, more often than not, we create the Guru, we make the rules, we ask for behaviour patterns based on our own sense of guilt and morality. And finally we Crucify the Guru for being Mortal. I am sorry, but they were always mortal in any case, but immortal only in our creation. So much so that while everyone else just dies, a Guru ‘decides to leave his/her earthly body/
So do I, mate !

63 Responses to “Sex and the Guru”

  1. Chakra says:

    Shekhar ji; this section in ur blog was a total waste of time, energy and bandwidth. Who the hell was going crazy searching the web for this kinda shit; I really wonder who these jobless people are!
    If you really want to meet a “Guru/Acharya/Brahmachari/Swami” you will have to visit one of the Ramakrishna Math ashrams/centres and I am sure they are located in every country that you travel to:)

  2. Fidarose says:

    For me Swami Nithyananda is still a enlightened master, if even it is proved that he is the man behind the sex tape. And I have no vested interest in making this statement, since I am part of the Isha following.
    One needs to look at oneself, what happens when one feels sexual ? Does one feel guilty ? In fact, one feels beautiful, when one is sexual. The only problem with sex is that it brings possesiveness, jealousy, hate has a by-products with it. If two persons are meditative, not possesive of each other, then sex is not much of a issue. But in hands of person who is not meditative, this sexual act will leave him in bondage and he will never be able to come out.
    When a person comes upon any kind of act of a Guru, which does not correspond with his imagination, then the only question that needs to be asked is, whether all these years of following his Guru, has it brought any kind of transformation in himself or not ?
    Personally for me, looking at the charishma of Nithyananda, I am sure that he would not have left his followers without the urge to taste the higher levels of being.

  3. Hi Shekhar Ji,
    Ahh the holier than thou, US!
    Such a need we have to judge others who may have transgressed. Even though we ourselves live vicariously through our imagination with that girl next door or that hot actress or maybe even our friends girlfriend or wife. Lets put a video camera in the minds of everyone who claims to be the example of righteousness and godly living and put those on youtube!
    Finaly, lets not stereotype gurus. There are bad apples in each field but we don’t stop going to movies if an actor is touted by the media to commit adultry or liase with underworld, nor we’ll stop watching IPL because of the reports of the bookies and scams and match fixing history or stop living in India because the politicians suck.
    Again, the issues Indian media and moreover Indian junta finds worthy of being breaking news is just disappointing.May be by judging others some feel to be purged of there own transgressions in the light of same ‘evil’ act by a fellow human being.
    Keep your faith in the religion and the spirituality.

  4. dermarasa says:

    Nithyananda says he was having sexual experiments with his chosen female companions . What a travesty and perversion. In all religions including Hinduism, incest is an immoral sex activity, but some people get involved in it.
    Some people who are both victims and perpetrators of incest may seek the guidance, advice and teachings of Nithyananda on how to kill this animal lust in incest sex between a sister and brother, between the nephew and ones own mother’s younger sister etc. Would our fraud man Nithyananda say then that he has to get involved in incest sex with his blood relations in order to do the experiment on the effects of incest before advising his disciples on how to control their animal sex lust and prevent incest? This is absolutely ridiculous. Who is our Swamiji trying to fool?
    You can not fool all the peoples all the times, dear Swamiji. Accept your guilt and get married and quit your Swami business

  5. Sara says:

    Personally I don’t have a problem with Nithyananda rolling in bed with an actress, I am glad it was not an actor. Don’t look at what is, look at what it could have been. How about that for a teaching? Ok, on second thought, I don’t have a problem with that either but probably the video would not have interested me.
    At the worst his crime was hypocrisy. He let down his followers. I am sure they have a reason to be upset if they thought their guru was above this deplorable act of having sex (Its still not clear from that video if it actually happened). But why is general public so upset over this? He did not rape or molest anyone, he did not kill anyone. Politicians commit grave crimes against this country every day but people have to terms with it and accepted it. But sex outside the society’s norms, oh no, that’s a huge crime.
    I never have a problem with two people having consensual sex, whether it is accepted by the society or not is irrelevant. Whether it is accepted by their husband or wife is a different matter but strangers have no business getting upset over it.
    Every being in the world is created because of sex and every being wants to have sex. May be Nithyananda was trying to unlock the mystery that is sex. Those who are upset about him, please get off his bed.

  6. Val Darrant says:

    Slower, he walked along in his thoughts and asked himself: “But what is this, what you have sought to learn from teachings and from teachers, and what they, who have taught you much, were still unable to teach you?” And he found: “It was the self, the purpose and essence of which I sought to learn. It was the self, I wanted to free myself from, which I sought to overcome. But I was not able to overcome it, could only deceive it, could only flee from it, only hide from it. Truly, no thing in this world has kept my thoughts thus busy, as this my very own self, this mystery of me being alive, of me being one and being separated and isolated from all others, of me being Siddhartha! And there is no thing in this world I know less about than about me, about Siddhartha!”-Excerpts from “Siddhartha” by Hermen Hesse..
    On a Different POV,Let me ask
    === But Why The Need? of Self, Atman, Antah-Karana??Sutratma..Enlightenment,etc etc,Why is there a need of a “Guru”?? What for??
    To be Continued..

  7. ValDarrant says:

    A POV to Eventually Exterminate Any kind of “Guruisms”..: In This Era of IT and Robotic Modern World,Its better to have “Deaths” to All These Guru phenomenon…and to The Intricate Philosophies. which are Almost very much Useless in its Purpose in Reality..We can Infer That its never needed , since its merely based on Assumptive and Presumptive Thought Processes as even for Atman or Advaita, Dvaita arguments and these are Futile Postulates..Ponder..
    The Concept of Atman, leads to The Running after the Gurus for “Knowing The Self”, by Laborious Processes of Meditations, Concepts of Samsara Mukhthi..etc are finally Uncanny Philosophies, which serve no Purpose to Life or Eternity ,Matter of Factedly..Ponder..
    As even Vivekananda has similarly said, that its Better to Play a game of FootBall( than to read The Gita) than to go after all these Useless Time and Life Waste processes.( For Time Waste is Life Waste).Instead people can concentrate on Constructive Activities in Their Lives for Micro and Macro Level Progresses..For Remedies and Cures they can consult Physicians or some Scientifically apt Alternative Medicines..Let Them be Reasonably Logical, Analytical,Wise and not without Knowledge, ie Ignorant..
    Now coming to Gurus and Ashrams
    The Root Alibi( let it be termed Alibi) of Setting up Ashrams is ,
    in The Name of LOVE ( which is The “Greatest” Tool by these Kurus..)..INNER PEACE,”Inner Engineering”,( a New Terminology to attract people)Knowing Self, Liberation etc etc ..Basically these are The “Weapons” or Strategies based on which The Ashrams are set up..Most many ashrams are centres of Mere Carnal Inflations,rather than so called Spiritual Enhancements..They merely turn out to be Yogic and Tantrik Sexual Centres..or Places of Mere Sexual Conjugations and Culminations in the name of Love,Meditation, Kundalini Invoking etc etc..like a Harlem..
    and The Main Aim is Money, Fame,Pleasure and Power( From all Dimensions)..instead of highlighted “Spirituality..”
    Key Factors:WOMEN..
    Women are prone to be visiting these centres( Infact they are The Targets of Gurus and shishyas to Nourish these Ashrams ) as they are emotionally Vulnerable..The Biological make -up of Women as per Anatomy and Physiology make them susceptible to Emotional Tomfoolery in feelings of Devotion,Love and Erotic Emotions,Thus Physically Suscetiple to Coitus( By Basic Instincts of human nature,Lustful desires and Corrugated Feelings of Eros),.
    The Intercourses are mostly Consented and some semi-consented or some are even trapped and blackmailed.Also There are many women who are seeking “true love”( as the term is very prevalent and predominant ) and “soul mates” by “divine guidance”( so it is called) as per Tantriks and Mantriks..becoz of by PLR( So called Past Life Regressions)
    Now
    “Godmen” are seen as some kind of “devas” or Gods Incarnate..This “Carnally Mystical” Fantasy (Plainly by Ignorance of Traditional Stories from Scriptures) by Women, is another vital reason for Women going after them..or women being seduced or consenting in sexual orgies with such virulent “Moksha” Makers..
    “If Women are Corrupted or Corrupt The Whole Society will be Corrupted eventually.”
    But This Sexual Corruption ( or is it divine activity?) is The Required Power, The Required “Joy”, “Happiness,”,Ecstasy,Nirvana..of The Sex-Driven World of Eastern Mysticisms..
    .Its better that Women are respected even for their Sensuality,Sexuality in the required Graceful Manner and Also Let Women respect themselves for Dignified Existence..
    Men be Dignified aswell..
    Sex is a Beautiful Phenomenon..Let it be In The Best Quality of Actions in every realm and every Dimension…Let It Reach The Bliss every time..without Fuss and Pus..
    For Spirituality
    Follow Divine and Human Values..As possible as one can..
    Be at The Pooja Rooms or even any where and Pray to The Divine Lord,The Absolute One without any one’s help( No Gurus are needed),without any Intricate Meditations..Pray and have a Divine Relation with The Lord,let your Soul be One with The SuperSoul, by Simple ,Plain Heart Felt Prayers….Its Enough..No Other concept like Self or Realization is needed..
    Let The Light of Understanding and Comprehension make Wise Decisions for Constructive Lives, leaving aside Futile Searches and Teachings..
    Live a Human Life..We know only This Birth,..Live it Well.
    “The Reverence of The Lord is the beginning of Wisdom and Knowledge of Him is Understanding”
    Let there be Liberating Policies than Liberal Policies..( Read That again)

    To Be Continued..

  8. Val Darrant says:

    Dear Mr.Shekhar,I dint find my posting..?

  9. Wandering Sufi says:

    The question is asked,the implication quite broad, can a Guru have SEX and still be a GURU? What is the sex some speak about here? If it is only gratification for the self,only of of what I shall assume for this answer is two, there is a sorrow attached.Has not one of the partners been cheated? If so, sex such as that loses its beauty. If the sex is between lovers, or two, drawn together by a seemingly irresistible power,is that not different? Why in a free mind would there be shame? What if one or both have another lover? Does betrayal enter into a complicated question? Will they seem each other again? If they do,what will their eyes speak? If they are unable, but, cherish the moment in time, as though a seed were planted,& now it grows so, that it reaches beyond the heart? If none are hurt, how can it be wrong? Is it not an asteroid, passing the planet without malice nor harm? From one question springs another,buds to shoots to branches that thicken,growing strong with time. An act of love,like this response, must,it seems, ripen,like a fruit upon this tree of loves, it seeds fertile and dropping to the ground, yet answering none as to why they have come to be. A spiral of love will spread around the act, were it true, and of lovers, not of users. A Guru is fulfilled, not by answers, for how is it that from any we came come to grasp a truth, wholly complete, flawless, and never to be superseded by another? Can this ever be except in acts of faith? The Guru and the Actress, were it act of love, are they not fulfilled by all the questions, little beads of sex, scattered to the farthest reach of time? Does one not study and teach, to find a better question? Does an actress true to her calling, strive to answer by the birth of questions, the audiences need? Who then can judge?

  10. kt says:

    hi shekhar….. i can’t find my posting dated 17 march…

  11. manish says:

    Shekharji,
    Sex is as natural as food is. My understanding is even enlightened person may move in sex. But basic difference is sex cannont lead them they may use or enjoy it. But those who preching aginst the sex and having it secretly is the most worst thing in the world. We are living in the world and we are not alone so we must have to understand the moral structure of the society and must have to make a balance with it. I am not saying to follow it blidly. But a healthy understanding is needed.
    Those who search such kind of vidios on tubes shows some unfulfilled desire and this is not a natural way to fulfil it. Nature is beautiful and this is a perversion of nature. People are doing sex and we are watching it what kind of pleasure we gain from it. It is mental. Actual sex is OK but mental sex is more dangerouse.
    So what we call a Guru having sex secretly. If he have some guts he has to confess it that his sexual desires are not fulfiled yet and then have to find some solution upon it. Tourturing our nature for spiritual search is not a right kind. When our body and mind is in a state of complete health and fulfilment then our energy move to higher dimension naturally. If Nityananda has something like that and if their is some honesty in him we must have to support him for his further pilgrimage

  12. Su Lee says:

    the issue here is not whether nityananda “fell from grace” by revealing himself to be human, like the rest of us. the issue is not also whether sex is kosher in an ashram – the idea that celibacy equals piety is itself a hollow theory that results in its proponents leading schizophrenic lives in most cases.

    the problem with people like nityananda and his ilk is that they peddle a philosophy which is exploitative and disrespectful of human beings, and they betray the trust of people who come to him when they are at a most vulnerable point in their lives. i would respect an out-and-out con-man much more, simply because he makes no claim to being a spiritual master.

    there are enough stories going around about this “guru” and his coterie, who are involved in shady land deals, trickery, financial corruption, shady goings on with drugs and alcohol, and there are also charges of rape and molestation that he faces. his sexual antics are an irrelevant distraction to the greater wrongs he has committed.

    there are many paths to self-realisation, to peace. but the means cannot justify the end – and no matter which way you look at it, these kooky cults end up just giving nirvana a bad name.

  13. Don’t bother getting a little bit of us in you, get a lot of HIM (Sri Sri) in you… that will be far far better Why imitate a xerox copy, when you can have the original?!:)

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