Mob molestation outside JW Marriott

All Mumbaiites should feel very very concerned of the behaviour of drunken young men that molested the young girls outside J W Marriott on New Years eve. While there are individual incidents of rape etc reported all the time, what is frightening about this incident was the mob mentality that took over without a single thought or compassion for the hapless girls. Almost like hunting pack animals, the girls were attacked by a mob of 70/80 men that were ripping off their clothes. Which means that this has become a socially acceptable behaviour pattern. Why does this happen …… ?

Mumbai used to be known for the safety with which girls could go out alone at night on the streets. The psychology of mob attacks like this assumes a certain resentment, a certain anger, or a certain feeling of disgust towards the young girls attacked. As if they were not quite human, but mere sexual objects. In an unbridled surge towards consumerism are we losing our humanity ? Or was there some resentment associated with young people that can afford to party at 5 star hotels ? My guess ? I know a lot of people in the Media will hate me for this, but :
The Indian Media is demeaning towards women. They are constantly being presented as sex objects. I see it on TV – I see it in film – I see it on magazines and in papers everyday. I am no moralist. But I know how Media can alter young minds. And perhaps the young Indian male is just not mature enough to handle this ?
Indian women now are becoming an integral part of our economic system. They are becoming at par with us men on jobs and careers. They are an integral part of our economic growth. They deserve to be respected and looked at much more than just sexual objects.

43 thoughts on “Mob molestation outside JW Marriott

  1. The problem largely lies in India being a closed society. Sex being a taboo is difficult to find and hence such behaviour by the public and the media. Scarcity leads to demand and hence media tries to fill it. I simply cant understand laws monitoring sexual behaviour of adults. Of cos children have to be guarded but y adults. Take for example laws against gays or adult channels or porn movies or brothels or rape. ‘Rape’ bcos having sex bfore 16 is considered rape even if it is consented sex. Sex after puberty is normal and if there is a survey u ll find that most girls have had their first sexual encounter at 13. Call it child molestation or rape. Watching porn movies or keeping porn cds is a criminal offense here. So everybody reading this a criminal who has just evaded punishment :). Societies need to change and first the laws.

  2. I guess you are right. Another reason is that all those crappy Ekta Kapoor soaps that the Indian crowd have got so used to, portray women very traditionally.. I think it instills the feeling that females aren’t independent, free beings..
    Its a cultural thing but I think that Indian women need to prove that they aren’t necessarily someone’s wife, mother or sister. I am not saying that they should not do their duties.. just not let their duties define them.

  3. dude,
    Our society is a society of cannibals! 🙂
    no one accepts sex as the need and hence over the year it grows out into desire!
    SUPPRESSED is the main reason of such monstrous act!
    this is the reason that even after having ‘STREE NARK KA DWAR’ as the main motto of spiritualist we have such a huge population! the masters said that line because they realized the sexual power is the most sensitive power and if one will be trained to control is naturally the same power will be transformed into spiritual power! ( SAYAM is a beautiful word. English doesnt have that word. Neither CONTROL nor PATIENCE explain everything. SAYAM is the word. SAYAM is the basis of being cultured!In SAYAM the person keeps patience based on morals and ethics which are universally accepted and then through that control arises!)
    DIGNITY is out of fashion! look at our films!
    look at ABHIMAAN and look at ‘ APNA SAPNA MONEY MONEY’ !!!
    as Einestine said about Mr. Gandhi ‘ coming generations would be surprised that such man existed’ like that ‘coming generations would be surprised that films like ABHIMAAN were made in our country’ 🙂
    no one has time to contemplate, to analyze, to ponder over their inner feelings! no one is ready to be AWARE!
    i used to go to learn guitar. the teacher was maverick. he used to say it is very easy to predict future of this generation. i asked how? he said in earlier times the warriors used to wear helmets which were made up of iron and they had an antenna like bar on top of it, pointing up. Such antenna holds person’s concentration in the brain. and look around now, people wear caps which are pointed forward!…so their whole concentration goes in that direction. while walking they see person’s ass walking in front of them, while driving they see hood of the cars ahead of them. accidents are bound to happen!…hahahaha
    SUPPRESSION is the reason! this is greatly reflecting in art!
    very happy new year!

  4. shame, this sort activity done by high fly families not from cultured families, what sort of upbringing, it surely reflect on the parents

  5. Just hearing about this news makes me want to kill these men. I do not want to go into psychoanalysis of what prompted these people to do what they did. Ours is a criminal society. We are ruled by hooligans and this is the outcome of it. A mob is unruly, but no one coming forward to protect the girls is shameful. I hang my head in shame that i live in such a country and such a society and am powerless to do anything about it.

  6. Dear Mr.Shekhar,
    I had read many of ur blogs and this is the first time I actually dared to put a comment on your page. For me the most inpiring one was of course, that small write-up you did for your daughter on your birthday. And without your pemission I had shared with my friends. Hope you don’t mind.
    Wsihing you a very successful 2008.
    Warm regards,
    Arun Bose

  7. Dear Shekhar,
    The true reason is the way the society is structured. The majority of the women are not allowed to party or go out with men, so a vast majority of men in the society are frustrated, but the natural feelings do not subside. The few women who go out drinking with guys are from the upper section of the society and most people can’t afford to go to such places, increasing the frustration further. On top of that occasions like New Year and Holi, when most are inebriated, give them the license to do whatever they want in the heat of the moment.
    I believe the media portrays the women as objects of desire because that’s how the society behaves at a mass level. Bollywood shows women in a certain light as the vast teeming masses have only that outlet to fulfill their desires for the kind of women they can never get in real life. If you visit any B or C center cinema hall, the audience is almost completely male and the main reason they are there is to see women dancing in skimpy clothes – that’s why serious cinema can’t penetrate the interiors of India. This is the reason “Item Numbers” have become so popular – sometimes people will go to see the movie many times just for these songs. Infact Bollywood might be doing a great service to society by fulfilling the fantasies of the masses; otherwise they’ll literally go crazy with frustration.
    Such incidents although unfortunate should not be reason enough to brand Mumbai as unsafe. It is still the most livable city for women and on any other day most of these hooligans would not have had the gall to commit such an act.
    I just hope the authorities take strict action and have a stronger presence next year onwards, and I definitely hope the situation will improve.
    Best Regards,

  8. Sex is a taboo. No one talks about sex in their homes. Talking about sex means is taken as perversion. Thinking about it is fine as long as it does not manifest in the world.
    Just as seed sown in soil sprouts one day, similarly thouhts fed to the mind manifest in due course as actions.
    All pornography, sexual thoughts, masturbation with sexual fantasies serve as seed for future actions of sexual misconduct.
    As society we lay too much emphasis on physical beauty, and train our women to look beautiful and attractive since childhood and this only adds fuel to the burning fire of repressed sexuality of society, which keeps the attention hovering around sex all the time.
    Putting blame on few inividuals never solve the root of problem, which lie inherent in each one of us, we have to change the concepts at the roots to bear good fruits in future.

  9. Mob molestation outside JW Marriott!!!
    What about thousands of other worst things that happens every second in the other towns of India. I wish our media go there and expose those too. Or may be the media is like a commercial Hindi film too, which needs an item number in it with star cast of JW Marriot. So it could attract the desired audience.
    Worst then this was a tragedy in Chennai, where a stage over the swimming pool collapsed and a young engineer lost his life during the new year party.
    Let’s pray for a better world in New Year.

  10. sekhar sir, i am wishing you a very happy new year 2008, as a viewer i can think you will make good movies in this new year and make india proud as you had done in past.It’s pretty sad to welcome new year with a bad incident like this.we should remember this place belongs to educated,cultured,civilised people who hails from big mnc’s, corporate houses, but with all those qualities these fail to fail to respect women.they can’t control the devil nesting inside their brain. should these late night paries continue?

  11. Namaskar Shekharji,
    The news of molestation with girls outside J W marriot is not something new in our country,but this is something strange that 70 to 80 animals of same spiece are on hunting at the same time?I am using the noun “animal” because it is said that human being is the most wise creature on earth,humans have more emotions than any other creature on earth,And I don!t think molestation with a woman is reffers to human being.
    I havenot seen your thought yet on this molestation because I was willing to express my anger on it.I think it is more shamefull then the asassination of Banezir bhotto,because her asassins were brainwashed,but here in our great MotherIndia,the youth don!t know that what honour and respect a woman deserves…..
    I also represents the youth of my country,I am 18 year old,but I am feeling really hurted by this act.

  12. Shekhar,
    This is not a single incident of this hatred against women in India and this is nothing new either. Two women were similarly molested and hurt by a mob of 80-100 men in Punjab University on Holi 5-6 years ago. What were they doing?? Riding a mobike on Holi – privilege available to men only, I guess.
    When I read ur post, I instinctively knew that most people are going to blame this kind of behaviour on “suppressed feelings”, which I think is baloney and I will tell you why.
    One reason, I think, for this hatred is that women are becoming more sexually confident and liberated as well as financially. They dare to show this independence. I experienced this personally many times when I was in India as an engineering student. I will not go into details but it left me dumbfounded that how can somebody detest me so much enough to kill me or maim me for life without knowing me. A jeans clad, helmet wearing girl on a scooter or a mobike somehow insults men of India.
    Secondly, in this age of money-money and more money, Indians have forgotten to respect some basic values. Women themselves are the biggest contributors in this. They limply take abuse at home so that somebody else can feed them, and men see their weak mothers and sisters at home,and expect the rest to be that way. Only a strong, self respecting mother can bring up strong sons.
    I don’t think such incidents are cause of suppression of interaction between men and women. In fact not so far ago, young people did not date as much as they do now, yet when I was growing up there were isolated incidents of rape but not such mass depravity. A man is free to go out,date and marry a woman at 21, and satisfy all his fantasies. It takes a lot of guts and wisdom to be able to take that kind of step…naaah. we will just go the easier way..have all the fun and no responsibility.
    I remember a scene from Jeena Isi Ka Naam hai where Surinder Kapoor remembers that he threatened to break Anil Kapoor’s legs if Anil thought about ditching Sunita at the last moment. We need parents like this.
    This is mass perversion and one very simple way to cure this is to make such crimes punshiable in such a manner that people think twice before they drink and many days before they they abuse a weaker human being a child, a woman, an old person.

  13. Himanshu, I was really amused by your response, especially this sentence “Bollywood shows women in a certain light as the vast teeming masses have only that outlet to fulfill their desires for the kind of women they can never get in real life.” Man, if you or somebody else really want to “get” Rakhi Sawant, god bless you and give you a very capable therapist.
    You might not agree, but I think men who watch skimply clothed women on screen are the one who will control and overclad their women-sisters, wives or daughters.
    the mature population that watches B and C grade movies in theaters is the one that gets married at the earliest and has the highest no. of kids. I don’t know what frustration you are talking about.

  14. Oh!
    I strongly feel the conditioning of Indian males is not correct, from childhood, they are educated that sex is a taboo, many a times they are to look at girls as sisters, and even if they say she is like my sister, sex is not far away…conflicts have been instilled.
    I never found Indian men, maybe I did not meet the right kinds lol….to be able to call a spade a spade…and most of the times marriages too are based on power of all orders more than the depth that both can share…
    Time is a huge constraint, I agree with kedar, its very rare to find someone put real afforts and time to really nurture feelings…
    In a world where we were humans with animal instincts, Alas!! We have become animals with human instincts…
    Whatever analysis we do of this mumbai incident, aint mean that this will be an end….tis a beginning to a new bend….and the complexities seems to rise and rise…
    You take care Shekhar…
    And Welcome back Kedar, a pleasure to see you here…
    Thank You..

  15. I have read all the comments on this page, and some of which I find to be truly interesting. However no amount of comments or analysis can explain nor excuse such disgusting behaviour. I also understand that a similar incident occurred near the Gateway of India in Mumbai last January where a large number of males attacked a single girl leaving her devastated.
    These embarrassing acts put shame to all the morals and ethics the Indian tradition and culture stand for.
    If India truly wants to stamp its authority as a future world player, then to put it very colloquially, I believe its people still have a lot to ‘brush up on’…

  16. Dear Shekhar Boss,
    Now its the time for the mothers, sisters & daughters of these culprits to get into action. Only they will be able to expose their so-called sons, brothers & fathers involved in this. May be, we men, have to learn from these mothers, sisters & daughters how to respect the womanhood.

  17. Lehar, I think you do understand what I mean and I am not talking about any one actor, but rather the void that Bollywood fills. And even if they get married early and have many kids their fantacies are never satisfied with the kinds of women they get to marry and that’s what is supplied by Bollywood (see a movie called Dharavi, it’ll give you some idea – wonderful acting by Om Puri). And the vast majority of men who fill the theaters to watch films that show women dressed like that are genarally single and in their early 20s and there are tons of them in India, just unhappy with the deal life has served them, and Bollywood keeps them amused by giving them what they don’t have.

  18. Dear Shekhar,
    What i feel more worrying than the incident is the apathy of the police and administration. If a police comisioner says that keeping everyone safe is not a major issue for him and such incidents will always happen, then its a lost cause. The message it sends is totally devastating to the morale of all the people who are appalled by the incident.
    Further, i think that the family/friends of these people who should send the right message by handling them to police. But since none of this will happen, we are a doomed society. We might just be slightly better then a taliban led society.

  19. I think the victims should have had common sense that these things can happnen even other wise if u wear provocaing dress especiallly short ones and walk on bare street ….obv men in drunk state would go for a hot bate..I really feel common sense are not found commonly no use blaming the police..I think mumbai poilce rocks they are respected.

  20. I used to always tell mr friends that i am not scared of going out alone.. day or night. What is the worst that can happen, i could get raped. That is bad but not bad enough for you to hate yoru self for it. It is not your fault.
    I think in India we need to educate people specially women, (and this before fighting these men who do this because this is easier faster and more important)
    1. Rape is a crime, like any other it is wrong but if you get robbed you do not hate your self for it right. So if you get raped you don’t have to hate yoru self for it.
    2. Men are curious about women, they feel deprived because they think women are superior and it is this inferiorty complex that makes them do all such activities. What do you think thes men who molested these women would have achieved out of it. They did not enjoy the act, they enjoyed to see the helplessness on these womens faces. Fight it dont be helpless. Challenge them toc ome touch you strip you. Trust me to be striped willingly would not attacrt these men even half as much. None of them have the guts to look you in the eye and do this.

  21. Himanshu,
    I think I understand what you mean but I have a problem with what you mean. What Bollywood fills is relatively very new void. My poor dad (he was in his early forties at the time) could not handle Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikander, he was disturbed for many days after watching that movie. Watching Pooja Bedi’s skirt rise up a mile in air, motivated his comment of “Yeh kya kanjarkhana hai?” This is the man who watched Professor 20 times in a movie theater. He never watched another “young” movie after JJWS.
    Fantasies are what they are “fantasies”. My point is what bollywood offers sometimes is demeaning to women and a man who has some dignity will not go to such movies. Think about it, what woman would like to dance half naked in front of a camera unit? I don’t know about you or others but when I look at these skimply clad women, I thank God a million times that I am not in their place in life.
    Does it hit the men who are unhappy with the deal life has served them, at the hand life has served such women. I am not a man, obviously, so I am trying to understand that at some point…any point, aren’t you scared that you might see your mother or daughter in place of these actresses. Doesn’t it make you feel to run away from that perverted song and do something better with your life. If it doesn’t, and obviously it doesn’t to millions, what is the name for this condition-“ooooh i cannot help it, my hormones are raging”? or just lack of “right”.
    Bhagat Singh was 23 when he became a shaheed, today’s men cannot think beyond few inches of their own projection.

  22. I have travelled almost all over India and I have never ever felt entirely relaxed while doing so – the ironic part is that as a woman, one feels safer travelling abroad inspite of not knowing the language or the country.
    Many of these sites and channels are emphasising what those two women wore – how does it really matter what they wore – and even if they were inebriated does it matter – Truth is, the mentality of a lot of men is that if the woman was assaulted, she probably did something that provoked the assaulter – I have been told on an occasion that ‘agar aap ‘lift’ nahi dengi to kuch nahi hoga’…Again, if the woman is ‘sloshed’..she is automatically ‘easy’
    At the root of that mentality is just a basic disprespect for women…and i agree with a particualr post which mentioned that a lot of these men simulate behaviour followed by their parents (read the weak mother who condones everything the beloved son does and the dominating father who treats the wife like a cooking machine cum baby producing factory)- but that’s just one reason.
    As in most rape cases, while sexual frustration accounts for a small part of the motive, a lot also has to do with power play – the need to dominate, stemming from basic cowardice, inferiority complex, self loathing and consequently looking for someone to blame – women in most cases in a ‘son obssessed society’… Lack of education is another factor( although our education system is hardly geared towards developing more rational and evolved beings)
    I suppose, ultimately these men probably despise the fact that most of these women have evolved more in the last few decades, then they ever will in the next millenium.

  23. Dear himanshu & lehar,
    I think himanshu u r quite confused,nobody should blame bollywood or hollywood for creating and presentig women as an object of desires,I don!t think bollywood was in existance when the “CHIRHARAN OF DROUPADI” was happened?I think himanshu you have to think a lot before giving ur comment,you can!t blame any media because the minds behind every bollywood movie are much sharper and sensitive than u.
    And lehar I do!t know in which country now u r,I can!t understand what r u talking about?U r really lucky that u hadnot gone through such circumstances where u have to dance half naked infront of camera.
    both of u had tried to pretend yourself intelligent in a foolish debat.

  24. Lehar,
    The first and most important thing to understand is that Bollywood is a business and not some morality lecture. The primary responsibility of the Producer is to make sure that the film turns a profit and then how to maximize it, and you can never please everyone. As you said your father has vowed never to see a youth oriented film again, so as far as a producer is concerned he does not exist in the revenue stream, as he’s never going to buy a ticket let alone create word of mouth. At the same time by losing 1 ticket if he gets a certain guy X who loves Item numbers and goes to see the movie 5 times, the work of the producer is done as he/she has made a product for which their in significant demand. On the contrary if the producer made a film about the teaching of Swami Vivekananda, it is still unlikely that your father will buy a ticket to the film and also tell others to watch it – he’ll probably read on Monday that the film is not doing well and wait to see it on TV. The producer is therefore totally correct in going after a large and predictable mass market rather than going after a small elitist and unpredictable customer segment. The producer do have their challenges as the things that work in Bihar don’t work with the NRIs in NY so they had to constantly balance their product with things that will work in most places like hot Item numbers, leave your mind at home humor, oversimplified plots and actors that sell. Mind you, even a Shahrukh had a hard time selling Swades, so the product has to be friendly to the masses.
    Regarding a women feeling uncomfortable on the set, they may be initially, but with time their comfort zones expand and it just becomes work and when the salary is so good and fame involved, most would do it.
    Regarding the masses of men who see these films, they are truly in need of an outlet for their unhappiness arising from ordinary or no jobs, modest homes and low salaries – maybe if we were still under British rule, one of these may have become Bhagat Singh as well. There are different needs in times of crisis and times of peace and just because a basic need of theirs was not met we just can’t call them shallow. They are our people and we need to channelize the country’s resources to make them valuable citizens – it has to come from the top. More jobs, better education, and a more open society and with time everything will change for the better – it already is.

  25. Himanshu, You don’t get it. I am currently living in US and I feel safer leaving work at 11 in the night in winters more than I did when I walked on familiar crowded Chandigarh roads. I haven’t looked behind my shoulder and sideways constantly in last five years that I have been in US, barring first month which was out of habit. I actually smiled at a stranger just like that for first time in my life. That was the most liberating experience. Strangers in this alien country have opened doors for me. They have treated at me as a professional.
    In India, as a 12 year old my breast has been grabbed by a passing by cyclist…and I wanted to kill that guy. I saw my neighbours daughter mishandled on holi by a group of men on mobikes on the street where we lived. I have not set my foot out of my home on a holi day ever since. You probably think what’s the big deal? It is. I wanted to laugh and have fun as much as my brothers did. As a kid, I saw a middle aged woman in a bus being bottom slapped by a 20-something student as his friends laughed uncontrollably. I still remember the faces of both the young man and the woman, though it was 21 years ago. At least 3 bus drivers have tried to knock me off of my scooter, not to mention many male scooter drivers who have jostled with me, and I remember jeer on each one’s face.I have been whistled at and leered at. I have not gotten used to it, contrary to what you may think.
    NO..I don’t want any man to watch those half naked hip gyrating women, because these men will and have looked at me and others the same way. No I don’t want to be fondled by a case you still haven’t gotten it IT IS VERY INSULTING. No matter how frustrated a guy is, he has absolutely no right to touch me or look at me in a way that he knows is uncomfortable for me.
    No Himanshu, whatever the economics of movies or life is,or how comfortable these actresses finally get in front of camera, I DON’T WANT TO BE AFRAID FOR MY PHYSICAL WELL BEING JUST BECAUSE I AM A WOMAN.
    If you still cannot understand this pain and it doesn’t make your blood boil, Bhagat Singh is wasted on you and I am sorry to him and others of his like that I brought up his sacred memory to shake up the well-educated, much read and well travelled, yet spineless and passive Indian conscience.

  26. Hi Abhiparan,
    Thanks for your comment. I base my comments based on what I think rather than what anyone like you thinks I should. There is no denying that Bollywood has excellent brains, but they have to make the product that the masses demand.

  27. Dear Lehar,
    I have been living in Midtown Manhattan for the last 2 yrs and in the US for close to 9 years and in many other countries, and I’m an MBA from a top US B-School. Regarding safety, go past 200 St. in the city at 11pm and you won’t feel so safe anymore. I am just in India for about 6 to 9 months as I wanted to catch up with the work environment here (plus I’m getting well paid) and then I’ll be back in NY.
    Me and my sister have both lived and studied in India and we have never ever been manhandled or had any problems (agreed we lived in a campus of a Navratna company till 12th where everyone was very civilized and the school one of the best in the country). Even in Delhi when I was in Engg and she was studying near Connaught Place we never had any issues and we both love Delhi so much and never found it unsafe even for 1 day. And then, I have never had any issues in America and everyone loves me there (I’ve mainly American Caucasian friends), so as far as I am concerned both countries are really great, or maybe I’m just privileged to have only had great experiences.
    By the way even Chandigarh is a great city. I’ve just been there once to visit Punjab Engg. College where I got admission, but obviously chose Delhi over it.

  28. Hi all,
    The actual problem is with the diversity we have in India. We pretend to be part of modern India and adopt all sort of western things. All of us know that we are just chewing the chewed. We are orthodox but pretend to be modern and thats the difference between us and the westerns. They know what they are doing, but we are deviated from our path. We like girls wearing short skirts and short dresses, but our own wife and sister shoud be coverd. Girls are their own enemy, they are exploiting themselves. Man fuck a woman or woman fuck a man it is one and the same thing. girls are serving themselves in front of man like a cuisine. Stop doing this and you need to protect yourself. No one is going to help you. You have to protect yourself. Dont be a treet or commodity for others, respect yourselves and stop exposing. If you are not suffering form it, a sister of yours is suffering for sure.
    Thanks & Regards,

  29. Himanshu,
    PEC is my alma mater. Travelling from PEC to my home in suburbs was a nightmare. I am glad that you or your sister did not have to go through such experiences, though I think Delhi is far worse than chandigarh.

  30. Tarun,
    If a woman dresses, most of the times she does not do it for a man or men. She dresses up or down because it makes her feel good. You have nothing to do with it. Its about time that men start shifting their focus on learning what a woman actually thinks and feels, from what they assume she is thinking.
    Now let us use some common sense. When you go out and buy that trendy and expensive shirt , we don’t assume you did it for us. Unless we tell you otherwise, we did not dress for you or your 70 companions.
    Also, its my personal opinion that women look much better in skirts, dresses than men would ever do. There must be some reason that kilts are not as popular as other options in men’s clothing. Women have more options in clothing because they look good in all of them. If a woman dresses distastefully, it is not an invitation for sex, it is just bad judgement.
    In case you did not make this observation before, very young girls or for that matter boys too, are very particular about what they wear. They want to look good, because it gives them confidence. They feel good. When we women grow up, we still want to look good and feel good like you do.

  31. I just read that the same thing happened on Park Street in Calcutta which was worse than Mumbai. There were lots of police on Park Street, yet they couldn’t do much to prevent tons of women from being molested. Although it is definitely a problem of how the society perceives women, to some extent it is also a law and order issue. The laws are not as strict and punishments are small, people get bail, and don’t learn much from the experience. Just like the US (or better still Singapore) unless the people will be in fear just by the sight of a policeman, such crimes are not bound to stop. If these hooligans feel they can get away with such acts, they’ll never change their ways.

  32. I have to say I entirely disagree with those that are blaming the way women dress for them to be targeted. In Afghanistan the Taliban would whip women for showing their face. Would you say that is provocative dressing ? Traditional Indian art reveals to us that Indian women have always dressed in a very feminine manner. The Sari is considered one of the sexiest way of dressing. shekhar

  33. HI,
    when ever the government sets a curfew time for the citizens, no body listens….may be the government is not able to provide security to everybody after that hour.
    If the discs and pubs r scheduled to shut at 1.30 am they r open till morning 5-6 am illegally. who is breaking laws……. we the PEOPLE.
    We always blame eachother if something wrong happens. Do we people follow laws in india….why we break traffic signals, why we park in no parking area,why we dont follow timings set by the law makers…..
    The country’s morality depends on its citizens, nobody is going from outside and makeup this country , its only in our hands.
    Why Mumbai was known as safe city coz everybody was happy with their lifestyles. law makers closed all the dance bars in mumbai to ensure safety but what i think ,it all starded after closing down the bars , there was a place for those kind of people to enjoy themselves and not getting frustrated.

  34. Dear Lehar,
    I have been following your discussion with Himanshu. As a guy, I feel ashamed, horrified and angry after learning your terrible experiences-both direct and indirect.
    I have always liked reading Himanshu’s comments here, but I am completely with you as far as this discussion is concerned. There is absolutely no justification –physical, intellectual or economic- for this sort of animalistic behavior of some men towards women. And, dear Himanshu, just because you or your loved ones didn’t experience something of this sort in India, doesn’t mean that such incidents don’t happen regularly in both big cities and small towns of India. I was so moved by Lehar’s post that I touched upon this topic with a friend in India. Now, she has lived all her life in posh areas of Bangalore, studied/studies in premier colleges/MBA institute and probably lived in areas which are much more protected and civilized than where Himanshu lived during his growing years. She worked as a student counselor where they used to have these sessions where all girls would sit in circles and talk about those disturbing issues that impacted them….. It was shocking for my friend to learn that all girls have gone through molestation of some sort….in varying degrees. My friend herself was physically assaulted and molested in broad daylight when she was only 13!!
    Dear Lehar, you are an evolved human being who has the ability to see things in right perspective. I am really thankful to you that you came out and shared your opinion here. I want to tell you that I do understand your anger and completely empathize with you..and I can assure you that there are many other men who think like me..
    As Himanshu says, extremely punitive measures and their swift implementation could only check this menace in our society.

  35. Hi Dev,
    Thanks for your post. I am equally angry with the incidents and the motivations of the hooligans and I believe the law should come with a heavy hand. In Singapore these guys would probably get 20 canes each, the scars of which would last a life time but here they get bail and get to contest this in a court which will consider this not a big crime. Women need to be protected and respected as equals as the can contribute equally or even more given the right opportunities. I may have had a childhood in a really protected society (actually too protected, 7000 CISF force for a campus of 50000 people) but I am very angry that such an event has happened. These people need to be dealt with a very strong action so that similar elements of society think ten times before doing anything even remotely close. And I agree that others may have had difficult experiences, but I can only talk based on what I felt. I believe in the saying ” Dilli hai dilwalon ki” and I saw it that way and I only got love in return. America gave me a 40000 dollar scholarship/yr (plus another 5000 thousand in my 2nd year – I couldn’t believe my eyes when I got a check of $5K in the mail and it said that you have been adjudged as one of the top 30 students in logistics in the entire US – I truly loved America that day). I base my views on my experiences, which I try to analyze in an unbiased manner, and will not call anything bad unless I truly believe it is.

  36. Dev,
    Thanks for taking time out to go deeper into this issue. I am very sure that Himanshu and others feel the same about it.I understand that for some people it is hard to comprehend that such incidents are so common, because they themselves do nott have such tendencies. I have a wonderful family. It is very frustrating to be treated one way at home and in a totally different way outside. I was manhandled only once in this very direct way in public, and I made sure there wasn’t another instance. But that kind of vigilance throughout the day and for so many years tires you out and it is very traumatic. You cannot smile and laugh in public because you are afraid somebody is going to follow you.

  37. Are our Indian men , rigid as most of them are in their perception and respect towards women…ready to take it in their stride….that, throwing such taunts/tantrums at women shows how insecure you guys are …end of the day…I am thoroughly amused….I see that education really brought no difference in the mentality…Wohooo!!
    India is pathetic, while dealing with women…I have lived abroad in couple of places and I have yet to see similar behaviour that of India…as soon as you land…the stink starts from the airport itself…
    Have myself faced such garbage from airport officers to police officers to Corporate directors…

  38. The Women of India must realise their strength…who form the psychology of our children…hence we create “SOCIETY”
    Please wake up ladies and instill more strength and dignity in your children, dont make them puppets and escapists….
    Oh! Lord who all to scream at!!!
    Banging my head on the keyboard!!!!

  39. There needs to be a fear of the law to address this problem sufficiently. This is quite a challenge considering the sheer number of people in cities.
    I was stalked when I was in school! The more you fear the more you’re hunted. I don’t remember any time travelling to college or work in the crowded train-stations and buses without experiencing some groping hands in any and every part of my body or those of other women. Anger is all I remember.
    It is different in countries where good law and order prevail and are less populated; one doesn’t have to deal with crowds.
    I’ve never considered Mumbai to be a safe place, and the only immediate solution would be for girls/women to make sure they’re as safe as can be.

  40. Democracy written in foreign language called as English.. Since most of the problems (Gonda giri / MOlestation) are Law and Order problems. Poor understanding of Democracy means poor quality of Policing means chaos….
    a) In Western countries Police Commissioner’s are elected by City people.. Why are they appointed by Corrupt politicians from Mumbai? A Police Commissioner in India is appointed by Seniority and appointed by a corrupt politician… Welcome to Goonda Giri.. Since this is an admin post, he/she could be elected directly by the city people and it will be a limited post (2 years).
    b) Once the nexus between Politicians and Policing is broken we can even keep a watch on the Politician corruption.
    c) Can a Market Economics solve this problem? Here is a thought, Create a different new branch of Policing from New Police acadamy.. Right from begning market them as people’s helper… Then open new police stations in the same pin code as the old police stations.. No need to getting rid of old corrupt police stations.. Let people(market) decide the choice to go to the old or the new police station..
    d) The Chief Minister post should be such that the no same person can occupy it 2 times.. So no possibilty of a Vilasrao Deshmukh or a Sharad Pawar or a Jyoti Basu getting elected year after year…
    f) The Prime Minister of India should be elected by the people and not appointed by a corrupt Sonia.. Again for the same reasons..
    Democracy understanding is the key solution to ALL THE PROBLEMS.. Until then there would always be a Chaos..

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