It’s late at night.
I should sleep. But there are days where even as a director you are completely involved more in mundane administrative stuff. Nothing has emerged from you today that is deeply honest. Deeply creative. Because everything that even tries to arise from within you, immediately hits a wall of judgment. Is it good ? Is it bad? And in this exhausting conversation with doubt, judgment gets the better of instinct. And like a child that has been told off for being naughty, instinct quietly retreats into a corner and sulks. Judgment, like a school master bloated with prejudice, wins again. Doubt rules triumphant. Once again it has caged you in its claws. Once again you are consigned to being mundane. To being normal.
Once again you have been unable to express your inner voice.
Do this too often and you will stop hearing the screams of anguish from your inner child. Beware though. If that child looses its innocence. It will turn from pure creative instinct into pure anger. And then even Doubt will not be able to withstand it’s venting. Beware the demonic quality of the unexpressed inner child.