Mumbai Mirror’s completely irresponsible article on mine and Suchitra’s divorce

I have never spoken about my divorce publicly before. It is a painful process not only for the two people involved but also for the young children. Both Suchitra and I spent nine very painful and turmoil driven years in a marriage, and though I was not in favour of a divorce because of our daughter Kaveri who was only 7 at that time, Suchitra was the one that had the courage and the resolve to confront me with legal summons while I was in London shooting Golden Age.
In any case we went through a very amicable divorce. I did not hire a lawyer and agreed to all the financial and other terms laid down by Suchitra and her lawyer. I did ask to share custody for kaveri, our daughter, but both Suchitra and her lawyer said that was not possible. The financial settlement included amongst other things, money to buy a house for Suchitra and Kaveri of equal value (as determined by Suchitra) of my sister’s house in mumbai where Kaveri and Suchitra lived in at that time.
Imagine my shock to read in the Mumbai Mirror this morning that made an accusation against me and my family of asking Suchitra and my daughter to move out of the house after one year of the settlement being made, making no mention of the divorce settlement. Nor of the fact that Suchitra was the one insisted on living separately from me.
I would like nothing better than to have my daughter live with me under my roof. But under the divorce terms Suchitra will not allow that. I have never asked Suchitra to conform a date by which she should move to her own house, though my sister, understandably, has.

37 Responses to “Mumbai Mirror’s completely irresponsible article on mine and Suchitra’s divorce”

  1. DQ says:

    Good Morning Shekhar…
    Hope all goes well at your end…
    A third party sticking their feet in is always a blunder in any relationship i believe…
    Jab shaadi hoti hai doh dilo ke beech hoti hai, jab toot-thi hai do insaan ke saath saara ghar toot-tha hai….aur wo bhi toot jaate hai jo dikhta bhi nahi shayad….uska hisaab koun maange ye koun jaane…
    Aap dono ke beech jo hua…uska tamasha duniya bana jaati hai, bana dalegi, banati hai…
    ye mouka koun de jaaye, uspar gaur karna chahiye…
    bache ko baap ka haq jo baap ka dil kare, agar wo ek aurat nahi de sakti, tho aurat hone ka mayne kya raha, ye samaj na aveh hai ….
    apni shakti aur dignity par wishwaas nahi reh gaya aajkal women ko…yu mehsus hone laga ab….
    Baas yehi kahungi….
    Take care…
    HuGzzz…Shhhh!!

  2. DQ says:

    Im sure if you ask the child…
    She would want both parents…
    .
    .
    but then life does go out of control at times
    .
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    but then, Im sure she would love to be with both, as per her choice whenever
    .
    .
    sharing custody was a very poignant expresson…
    .
    Kaveri is a beautiful name!!
    Smile

  3. DQ says:

    Agar aap dono ke beech kisi ne ye baath nahi utayi hai….
    .
    .
    tho
    .
    .
    Its high time such newspaper companies need to be sued in india for trauma, and challenging someones dignity…
    .
    .
    kisi ko tho inhe tameez sikhani paregi…
    .
    .
    aur wo, woh hi ho sakta hai jiske paas power ho!!
    Cheers!!

  4. Preeti says:

    I am so enraged that you have to explain details of your completely private issues in this public forum. I think the best way to deal with the media is to ignore what they say. But I guess you know best, i’ve never had to deal with them!

  5. Sir,
    Who will Police the Media? Is this known as Freedom of Press in Democracy? Or is this a given advantage of slow Judiciary in a developing economy?
    This is one of the most common issue raised by Mr. Amitabh Bachchan on his Blog regularly.
    Vinod Agarwal

  6. Rajesh Shetty says:

    Hi Shekhar,
    I have to completely agree with Preeti here.It’s really sad that someone like you has to bring this issue on your blog. I really hope you can take some serious action against Mumbai Mirror. So that they think twice before entering into someone’s personal matter.
    Take Care.

  7. AJ says:

    Dearest Shekhar,
    I know you care and are great Human being.
    Its touching to see your care and concern for Suchitra and your lovely daughter Kaveri and how you long to spend time with Your Family.
    Unfortunate, Unethical for media to write without even checking with You or Family.
    You need to reply and make sure they understand the pain You, Your Family and Friends have gone through because of this.
    Wishing you a great life

  8. AJ says:

    DQ
    I read and like your posts…
    Your clarity of thoughts is highly appreciated
    God, Existence, Life Bless You
    Can this change and we need in this life a change:
    >apni shakti aur dignity par wishwaas nahi reh gaya aajkal women ko…yu mehsus hone laga ab…

  9. AJ says:

    A thought …
    I saw a young girl wearing T-Shirt:
    “Explain to me again why I need a boyfriend”

  10. AJ says:

    “Family is a unit which makes the society a better place” http://www.ourdigitalvision.com
    Your stand for Your family
    Your efforts for Your family
    Your Love for Your family
    Your care for Your family
    The world loves you
    and some people are gonna be against it

  11. Isabel says:

    hummm
    somehow in the intensity of lifes tearings
    comfort appears
    as whisperings
    of Gods tears
    oh
    My dream a few days ago
    I could not recall
    till suddenly
    here it is
    oh
    the message
    Become the triangle
    within the square
    cradled by a mandala ”
    hummm
    strange dreams…
    between worlds of light and shadow forms…
    disguised by shades of grey …
    undefined …
    and yet …
    as if weaved with threads of gold ..
    like a shawl of Gods grace …
    here on earth …
    followed by a clear instruction…
    “and now write about the unifying theory” …
    ah …
    the challenge …
    when the tendency is to get glued to the low density forms…
    while the soul yearns
    in the madness of Gods play
    ah …
    the dance of shadows with the shades of a rainbow bridge …
    a central point …
    guiding us …
    to become the legacy
    of the rising sun
    Be grateful for whoever comes,
    because each has been sent as a guide from beyond
    ahhh
    the theme running in my veins…
    ” Keep focusing on high vibrational frequencies”
    oh yes
    my dream a little while ago
    with someone I seemed to have met between worlds
    in a very high lift..
    bringing us down to the earth …
    hearing a voice …
    “Let go of your emotions”
    What does this message mean??? I pondered
    what emotions???
    to see this man going down onto his knees …
    body jerking backwards…
    arms wide open …
    his face distorted with the deepest of pain …
    looking up …
    as if pleading
    without tears
    oh …
    ” The silent scream” … I heard …
    waking up on impact …
    to notice the bleeding in my arms
    what is this???
    oh …
    the cradling …
    this …
    in and out of consciousness
    as if focusing the lenses of a new camera
    into something …
    I had no idea…
    ah
    The plea
    What happened to my wings??? Why are they bleeding???”
    to experience the tenderness of Lucia my wild African kitten
    curled against my heart …
    as if breathing in …
    like a child
    in delight
    hahhhhhhhhh!
    falling asleep again
    to be faced with a similar theme
    with a different shape …
    asked to help a couple …
    I did not recognize…
    except when I tuned in with his energy field …
    ah …
    I know this energy…
    The dryness of the desert …
    eating itself…
    without mercy…
    shifting my attention to the woman …
    a green gel running through like a fountain …
    what is this ??? I wondered
    oh!
    The stickiness …
    you need to let go … I told her …
    look at him in detachment and tell me what do you see ???
    ah …
    a man dying of thirst …
    yearning for himself …
    yes … I said
    what about you??? What do you want???
    I want to get rid of this stickiness…
    to become a mirror of fluidity …
    flowing free and unencumbered …
    ah …
    the power of divine alchemy
    seeking itself
    in the merging
    of empty mirrors
    Hummm

  12. PRASUN KULSHRESTHA says:

    sir, hello. i felt sad to read your article which had a convincing message to share. I could feel your view & i am writing something specially for this…i hope you will like this…..
    ye kitaab jo tum padh rahe ho..
    inn panno se jo tum guzar rahe ho..
    zara gour se padho inne dost mere..
    aur ye kya..ankho mein pehle hi aansu liye hue ho..
    tum to sirf aankho mein paani liye ho..
    zindagi ke dard ko, mujhse toul rahe ho..
    ja dekh kahi zindagi khushnuma ban jaayegi meri tarah..
    bas yaad rahe…dil mein pyar, aur aansuo ko phool maan kar chal rahe ho…
    jis dard ki tum baat kar rahe ho..
    usse ye panne padh kar tum mehsus kar rahe ho..
    kisi ko kya kabhi tumne dil mein rakha hoga…
    nazaara aisa ho ki…palke wo uthaye,aur hame aankho mein sajaya rakha ho

  13. Em Posts says:

    Press is a bit rude sometimes. Its good if the news is the truth. Its not good if they are accusing someone for no reason. You stay calm and strong Shekhar.

  14. faith says:

    hi shekhar,
    i have been through this very same experience in my life………..based on which i can in all honesty say that all our relationships have a destiny. if your time is over, then there is really nothing to be gained by ‘flogging a dead horse'( is what was written ).the longer you drag it the worst it gets coz the core feelings that are responsible for the drift are very much there and add to the irritation that no matter what you do, the life giving energy to that relationship is gone.
    shekhar, whether you believe it or not, these things ARE pre destined. the graceful thing to do is flow with the dictates of providence and allow the next phase of your life to unfold.(this applies to both the people involved.now onwards different experiences are written under different circumstances for both.) we have all come programmed with a list of karmas to be accomplished in this lifetime………..different people play their roles at different times, enabling you to accomplish those karmas. when the role and time is done, we move on………
    if we try to change things by hanging on to what is dead we choke the life of the next levels of growth which are already there ( for all you know you have been confusing your future by keeping it at bay and living in a vaccuum ! )……..waiting to bring freshness into your life and instead are just watching you grapple indefinately with what is dead. a simple theory of life is staring in our faces when we cremate the person whom we loved the most in the world……….yet, if we dont, it would further disintegrate the form of our loved one and eventually stink !
    this is why i maintain that it is FAITH that really sees us through life because it gives wind to our sails……and takes us to our tomorrow.
    shekhar, you have seen so much of life……..surely your heart echoes the truth in what im saying ?
    as for what mumbai mirror said…..if they misquoted you and twisted facts about the alimony, settlement etc….you probably know the journo personally……….why dont you ask that individual to clean the wax from his/her ears 🙂 ?
    as for support……..we already have a karma with you , otherwise what are we doing here giving you this looooong lecture 🙂 ? count on us as the faith in your life or the wind in your sails 🙂 take care.

  15. Mehul Rahul says:

    Mate,
    I hope you don’t get bogged down with such brashness of this press. Gossip is bread and butter for Mumbai mirror and they make sure they get it. Anyways, its a very personal issue but since you have open to us about it we would stand by your side for this and not because we are your blogger friends but because we cite with justice. Anyways, I’ll say take all this with a Pinch of salt mate, atleast you get to see your daughter and your good friends with Suchitra. Life goes on and well if you’ve already provided her with an abode of her own than well it makes sense for your sister to request her to move there, Suchitra has already distanced herself from you so why do this. Anyways, you keep doing what you like to do i.e. make excellent thought provoking movies, its time to make another epic on lines of “masoom”. Take care mate.

  16. Koizen says:

    My dear Shekharji,
    Hurt weather justified or unjustified leaves an wound that is healed by time, but scars remain.
    I, am terribly sorry that to see this day will come when a creative person will have to push his thoughts in an otherwise blog to tell the public what’s really happening, no matter its a hurtful matter to all concerned. My empathy is with you sir, even though it seems amicable proceedings, it shows how much you connect with the others and yet, things dont stand – as it would otherwise be. A common interest/person even in such difficult situation is the need of hour with people who are at both of your sides and the other side.
    But what is shocking is mumbai mirror goes out with a one dimention version. A very singular issue as the name Shekhar Kapur is big one, they will sell more copies – but what damage does it do to the person(s) concerned they dont really know…
    Sir, face it sir, it took just a blog for you, live up to it, fight it out sir, see it in eye now, what ever it is, it is! its a kind of situation of no turning back…if it was meant to be this way, then be it…many quotes will come now from the press as some are like sniffing dogs, since they started the so called tamasha….now dont be silent sir, you have right…and a very moral, lawful, and practical right..stand up for it and meet the things with your proactive faculties.
    Sir…Take care of your health please

  17. DQ says:

    This is not a personal attack to anyone but my loud thinking i express…
    One may get enraged, shocked, feel its a shallow behavior to express such deep proceedings of ones life under the open skies…
    I am thinking…
    .
    .
    who is seeking such garbage of this order, for the media to plunge n make spice out of sumones life?
    .
    .
    Folks being in limelight…does that give us authority to simply dissect sumone to this order?
    .
    .
    Agreed the public makes them what they are and hence have a certian level of right to know whats happening…but to what limits?
    .
    .
    Limits that go beyond ones level of sanity and integrity?
    .
    .
    Why do we humans tend to seek lords n gods in forms of humans and expect them to behave n do things which we ourselves cant do?
    .
    .
    and why is it if sumone has guts to express the truth, we again shoot arrows at them? Dont they have a right of conduct, as per their wishes? We tear their clothes in public, and then say how dare you behave like this?
    .
    .
    why is there such a price to pay for a position? I see an unwritten contract between public and the ones in limelight, we are not permitting them to have normal lives, its the case everywhere, from prince charles to clinton, to britney spears to shekhar you name it.
    First we make them gods and worship them, then we expect them to be a puppet as per our whims, then suck their blood like coke as per moods, then spit at them and say you are tasteless, I mean how much more sadistic can we get?
    Me thinks monkies are better species!!
    .
    .
    I dont know why i say so much, but i guess i did!!
    Cheers!!

  18. DQ says:

    *****Good Morning, AJ*****
    Allow me to thank you for your early morn blessings.
    Samaj sakti hu, aap jis baath par gaur kar rahein hai…
    .
    .
    Change over night tho kabhi ayi nahi, if such negativity is radiating from women today is due to what they saw and recieved in the past, hence a total new category of girl child/woman arises.
    .
    .
    But I must say this change can only be brought by instilling strength in the child, proper conditioning is a must for a mature balanced adult(male n females), perfection tho na hoti hai, na kabhi hogi, isika naam insaan hai.
    .
    .
    Every generation will face the same set of complexities with a new dimension, hence make mistakes but better mistakes.
    .
    .
    The female should understand her power, she gives birth to a child (man being a natural part too), hence the power of creating a balanced society is mainly a womans domain more than a mans.(Even if modern times, the male still behaves and handles his position like a bread winner, and the female is able to take both responsibilities of breadwinner and caretaker, very effectively, (quality time/conditioning is better than quantity)
    .
    .
    Single/both parents should not instill thier bitterness of experiences in the child!!!
    .
    .
    ….hence we have a new form of bitter women growing up…who will slay the very balance and existence of quality men, the respect, the patience, the integrity, the faith, the power to face adversities, to utilise her emotions to feed the child and man to grow, ah tis an amazing power I see in women….
    This way many factors should be taken into account….dont let the past build a new generation, build a new generation, with future in mind not the past, at the same time rectifying the faults of past.
    .
    .
    And then the main factor ‘Man’ is the one here who will assist in better breeding, he should not degrade women to such an extent where she gives birth to bitterness of such high order, so the man holds a key here.
    .
    .
    What you give will come back, and whats coming back in todays date is a reckless, dangerous generation.
    .
    .
    And then how complex we humans are, a question then arises, dont women too need to live for herself? What of her needs? what of her? What of her!!! O la la la…
    LOL
    Take care and smiles I leave behind…
    Dq

  19. DQ says:

    **Aj**
    I must say this too…
    Thank you for appreciating my expressions…
    Much appreciated!!
    Smile~~~

  20. DQ says:

    ***Prasun***
    Allow me to say
    .
    .
    amazing expressions there!!!
    Smile

  21. Navin says:

    Dear Shekhar,
    I am on your side.
    Cheers!

  22. Horst Vollmann says:

    Dear Shekhar:
    There is a fundamental misperception in our societies and it is a worldwide phenomenon: mothers are viewed as having a greater capacity for a deeper, more profound love for their children than fathers. Thus, fathers almost always lose in custody battles. The law has closed ranks in virtually every country around mothers when the question arises whether a child is better off with a mother or a father.
    For as long as mankind exists an undisputed consensus has developed that sees a mother by virtue of having born a child in her womb and brought into this world, having breast-fed it through the early phase of its life as inherently more capable to assure the welfare of that child. Men have always been connected with the more opportunistic and pleasurable aspect of bringing a child into this world. The reality of course has a vastly different face. Fathers do love just as deeply as mothers and mothers can be just as deficient in the performance of their duties as fathers can be irresponsible.
    I know from my own upbringing that my father would have stepped in front of a car if it had meant to save the life of my sister or my own. For my dad love was the all dominating factor in our lives, his decency and dignity had become an aspiration for me and my compass for all my life. Without him many aspects of love would have eluded me and I say this, knowing well enough that my mother had loved us with all her might.
    For you, Shekhar, it must be terribly painful to be given only the occasional moment to establish this deep bond with your child. You are a person who emanates love, your knowledge of lifes fragile make-up, its fleeting moments of happiness, its wonderful challenges, the sense of privilege to be alive are all colors with which you could paint a beautiful picture for your daughter, a portrait that could open unknown vistas for her, enriching her life, making her more complete. But the painting may forever remain a work in progress. Short visits are a poor substitute for a full-time sharing of custody. By the time the tender strings of a bond between the two of you emerge again, the good bye will intrude.
    I wish you good luck and the strength of love to prevent the widening of a chasm that the time of absence may cause.
    I would not pay any heed to a press that should clearly know better. Those people who by now still do not know who the real Shekhar Kapur is should not be relevant. The majority in your country does not believe the slanderous reporting of newspapers with a questionable reputation, I am convinced of that.
    With best regards.
    Horst

  23. saleen says:

    Hi Shekhar –
    I am sure many people are pouring in with bunch of advice to you but reading your post – I cant help but request you to forget all the rest and spend every possible moment with your lil girl. She will carry these moments on with her for the rest of her life – all else will be unnecessary details.

  24. Hi Shekhar,
    Felt sad to know the painful times you too had lived.
    Wish you too get back again and live happily thereafter.
    That’d be ideal for the daughter.

  25. philosophical says:

    shekhar……….on a philosophic note……..
    maybe you have a kashmir within your heart ……
    does it manage to survive in this warzone of your current environment ?
    whether it is kashmir or an orchid…or a rose…
    have you ever been able to create music with someone sitting on the strings…….:)

  26. Gopi says:

    Why does love involve so much pain sometimes!!!

  27. Dearest Shekhar,
    you are such a transparent, honest and beautiful soul..
    i wish for only beautiful things to happen to you:)
    hugs
    anku

  28. Chaitali says:

    Well I guess most of the readers of Mumbai mirror know by now, 90% of it is garbage, the only reason why I get that newspaper is because they give it with Times of India.
    Anyways, God bless Kaveri and she has a beautiful life.

  29. face it says:

    so basically there is no space for an open relationship nurtured in joy , peace and good vibes for you until your ex wife finally leaves your house and settles down in her own isnt it ? is it possible to have a healthy relationship or even explore one in the presence of an ex who having got her security ……….is reluctant to leave ? does any unsuspecting prospective friend / partner deserve that kind of bad energy ?
    just thinking aloud…………..( musings of a mind other than yours )……sometimes it is difficult to conclude who is naive……!
    anyway………good luck to you !

  30. shivani singh says:

    dear shekhar, ignore them. you don’t have to explain anything to anyone….you are answerable only to your daughter and GOD. ignore it all. best wishes, shivani

  31. I know its not my business, but what people say about your divorce shouldnt affect you. You have your own truth and this I all that matters. Press usually exaggerate thing and make them appear like a huge colas. If you think that this article affected your public image, dont worry. It wont be long till everyone will forget about it!

  32. pappu says:

    why cant u both live together again?

  33. rony says:

    Dear Shekhar
    I understand the sensitive part of relation, i feel its better to look for a companion who has a life then dragging with the companion who lost the focus for u loved sometime ago….
    new life brings joy and helps to forget the hard times that haunts the dreams
    take care

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  35. Surabhi says:

    Dear Shekhar ji

    It is courageous to write so personal thing on your blog., which express the intensity of pain itself .I fail to understand , why people make a scene of the other’s life. The facts are actually in between the two and somebody else creates the other stories. Divorce – forever and deep pain , and the pain cannot be shared , but one can be felt . The media did not spare me – an ordinary person, you are a celebrity,sir. Our pain, doesn’t matter to them. JUST IGNORE THEM. I know it is easy to say but difficult to do so. I have a request that you must take care of yourself, and spend time with your daughter as much as would be possible,…she is grown up now,she needs you. A child to get affection from mother , with father -confidence grows.

    Regards

  36. Surabhi says:

    मैंने ईश्वर से पूछा,हम क्यों बिछड गये ?,क्या मजबूरी थी?
    ईश्वर ने कहा, इस मे उसका कोई कसूर न था,
    बस ये जो कहानी मैंने लिखी है वो अधूरी थी l

    Regards

  37. Surabhi says:

    Dear Shekhar ji
    It is courageous to write so personal thing on your blog, which express the intensity of pain itself . Divorce – forever and deep pain , and the pain cannot be shared , but one can be felt . The media did not spare me – an ordinary person, you are a celebrity ,sir. Our pain, doesn’t matter to them. JUST IGNORE THEM. I know it is easy to say but difficult to do so. I have a request that you must take care of yourself, and spend time with your daughter as much as would be possible. A child to get affection from mother, with father -confidence grows.
    Regards..

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