Heath Ledger did not commit suicide

Heath is not amongst us, but is in our consciousness. Heath is no longer a physical embodiment, but exists eternally now. His laugh is not audible to my ears any more, but I can hear it in my heart. in my consciousness. And that is what I remember him most for. His laugh. Deep and felt. Like he knew God was laughing with him.
The world is more troubled by his death than I expected. Like a great soul has passed amongst us and we, caught up as we all are, in the the throes of everyday life, did not even recognize it when it was there !
But in that coming to terms with our loss, why do we sensationalize his death ? why are we looking for dramatic escapes away from just a deep acceptance that ancient souls always leave us young ?
Heath Ledger did not commit suicide. Period. He was the most extraordinarily courageous man I have ever known. …….

And the most optimistic. Someone that has such capacity to spread love and laughter does not deliberately throw his own life away. And if I was the last person to speak to him, I can vouch clearly that Heath was looking forward to the next day. He was looking forwards to meeting me, he was looking forward to discuss our next film together, he was looking forward to life and laughter the next day. Of course he would talk about his daughter. He always did. But so do I about my daughter. I too am separated from her mother.
When we were filming Four Feathers, he would laugh at me every time I threatened to walk out of the film. He would joke at my trivial complaints. He would slap me on the back every time he would see my shoulders stooped. He would pull off the most amazing stunts, and we would not warn anybody about them before. It was our little schoolboy prank. His physical endurance was amazing. Heath was far more than my actor. he was also my support system.
He called me his elder brother. I am not sure. Sometimes I felt that I could lean on the innate strength that was Heath Ledger. Such a man passed amongst us, and we talk of suicide ? Of depression ? Of drug overdose ? Rather than learn from his existence.
As I come to terms with his passing, I will write more about Heath, that’s a promise.

60 thoughts on “Heath Ledger did not commit suicide

  1. Hi Shekhar,
    I already left a comment on this thread on April 5th. I just wanted to tell you (hopefully you will read this) that Heath is in my thoughts everyday. I still cry when I think about him and have great sympathy for those like yourself, who knew him personally. It must be so difficult for you, if it has been this difficult for me, as I am just a fan. As unanswered questions about his death still linger in my mind, I try very hard to focus on everything about him that has inspired me and made me happy. Your post has given me great comfort, and often when I hear or read something unsubstantiated about him and quoted by unnamed “sources,” I will turn to your post and reread it. Thanks again.

  2. I still grieve for this young man. I did recognize his specialness within his films. After his death, watching youtube tributes and pictures of him over the years – with Michelle, Matilda and even Naomi, I got a deeper sense of a person who made an impact with most people he encountered. Like others I did not know him personally. I do feel he is with us all in spirit. I watch his films and the grieving is deeper. I see his pictures with Matilda and just am so sad. He does seem to have been an old soul. It seems he still has much to finish, much left. I hope his future is full. Tell me, why do ancient souls leave us when young?

  3. i think heath committed suicide because of the joker’s role in the dark knight.heath was holed up in his hotel room for 1 whole month getting into the joker’s character,reading everything about him,he even began to think like him.And as you all must be knowing the joker is a suicidal guy,he doesn’t care for himself.so it can be safely said that though heath delivered an oscar worthy performance,he had become suicidal.he had actually become the joker.

  4. Avjinder:
    I just had to respond to your post because I can’t believe some people still believe this, and frankly, it makes me angry. Have you even seen The Dark Knight? Heath’s role was dark, but very funny as well, and you can see how much he enjoyed playing the part of the Joker. I can’t believe that some people still believe the rumors of the Joker role having anything to do with his death. Heath had said himself in interviews that this was the role he had most fun playing. Heath was an actor, and a very good one. It astounds me how people can get so caught up in these unfounded rumors.
    Having said that, Shekhar, please write more about Heath, as your original post is one that I reread often.

  5. Shekhar, I watched ‘The Dark Knight’ and was blown away.I have always beleived an actor however accomplished brings parts of his persona to a role.He/She plays a character ‘his/her’ way.Heath’s way in and about the movie speaks so much.He was so aware and made evil so human,so primal,and connected ..period.The evil was in the character,but his ability to connect with you more than anyone else in the movie showed how deep he possibly was as a human being. I am saddened to realise what a splendid performer we had and now to have lost before we saw more of him.In ways he left us with what seems like a performance meant to characterise ‘Kalyug’ in a way no one has done lately.Very keen to hear more on him from you.Are you going to continue with ‘9’o Clock War’ then?

  6. Dear Shekhar,
    Over the weekend I visited Five Leaves, the bar that Heath had worked on opening in Brooklyn. It was a wonderful experience, and I could really feel his presence there in a fashion. I’ve written to your blog before, but I would be so appreciative if you could answer one question for me…actually two, now that I think about it. Was he happy, and did he know how loved he was? Perhaps if I have these questions answered I could slowly begin to accept his passing.

  7. Okay. So i think that Heaths death was accidental but that even though no one wants to beleive it, maby it was because of the joker. I mean once u start acting like somone and spending so much time trying to be them you eventualy become them. And well he became joker and i think that it pushed him to insanity. Causing him to accidently over dose on his medication. He was an amaizing actor and he will be missed.

  8. Dear Shekhar, almost a year has passed… If there’s anything more you’d like to share about Heath, I (and probably a lot of others) would be very grateful. I feel that every story in relation to Heath is a treasure – maybe you even have some photos you’d like to show us? It would be such a thrill… Thank you 😉

  9. I’m thinking of you today, Shekhar. Thank you for everything you’ve shared with us so far about Heath…each story is so precious and those who were his fans appreciate it so much. Much love…

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