Heath is not amongst us, but is in our consciousness. Heath is no longer a physical embodiment, but exists eternally now. His laugh is not audible to my ears any more, but I can hear it in my heart. in my consciousness. And that is what I remember him most for. His laugh. Deep and felt. Like he knew God was laughing with him.
The world is more troubled by his death than I expected. Like a great soul has passed amongst us and we, caught up as we all are, in the the throes of everyday life, did not even recognize it when it was there !
But in that coming to terms with our loss, why do we sensationalize his death ? why are we looking for dramatic escapes away from just a deep acceptance that ancient souls always leave us young ?
Heath Ledger did not commit suicide. Period. He was the most extraordinarily courageous man I have ever known. …….
And the most optimistic. Someone that has such capacity to spread love and laughter does not deliberately throw his own life away. And if I was the last person to speak to him, I can vouch clearly that Heath was looking forward to the next day. He was looking forwards to meeting me, he was looking forward to discuss our next film together, he was looking forward to life and laughter the next day. Of course he would talk about his daughter. He always did. But so do I about my daughter. I too am separated from her mother.
When we were filming Four Feathers, he would laugh at me every time I threatened to walk out of the film. He would joke at my trivial complaints. He would slap me on the back every time he would see my shoulders stooped. He would pull off the most amazing stunts, and we would not warn anybody about them before. It was our little schoolboy prank. His physical endurance was amazing. Heath was far more than my actor. he was also my support system.
He called me his elder brother. I am not sure. Sometimes I felt that I could lean on the innate strength that was Heath Ledger. Such a man passed amongst us, and we talk of suicide ? Of depression ? Of drug overdose ? Rather than learn from his existence.
As I come to terms with his passing, I will write more about Heath, that’s a promise.