Apnapan:

a gentle touch of a finger
a leg rested gently against mine,
apnapan
a kind glance of empathy
in a crowded room,
apnapan
a hushed caring voice
on the other end
of a long distance call
are you ok ?,
apnapan


a hand laid gently
on my drooping shoulder
at a time of grief,
apnapan
a whispered unsaid
message of love
carried by the wind,
apnapan
a soft tear
at the corner of an eye
gently glistening
at the moment of parting,
apnapan
an imagined
image of you
at the other end of the bar
compassionate
at futile attempts
to go with the flow,
apnapan
knowing
somewhere
sometime
someplace
there will be
once again,
apnapan
apnapan : hindi for the deepest sense of belonging

21 thoughts on “Apnapan:

  1. Dear Shekhar,
    It looks like you are deeply longing for something in real life, some deep desire for love, or it might just be your deep love for your daughter. I think what you are feeling is just the price of success, so it still must be a joy to have this longing for belonging.
    Best Regards,
    Himanshu

  2. Apnapan kisi ki, aapko yaad dilaye hai Shekhar…
    Yu na pucho ki kya hua hai…
    har taraf baas dhua- hi dhua hai…
    bebas bhi, besabar bhi,kuch hua hai…
    kuch hua hai, kyu hua hai, kab hua hai…
    Ye na pucho iss dil se,kaise hua hai…
    na janeh kya likh daala fir se….tch!tch! Shekhar sur(head) ko khujli karne lageh hai na???
    Khujli tho mere head par bhi honeh lagi…contagious sa maloom hota hai ye bemaari…
    Hugssss
    Sigh kya kahu ka na kahu…

  3. apnapan……. apnaane se milta hai……..kabhi dene se bhi milta hai….
    ………affection has to be expressed too….i have hardly come across a human being who does not respond to warmth ! to the giver its a joy…a natural fountain….yet the giver has needs too ! to see the affection mirrored in the face of the receiver…… ?

  4. hey……… jisse apnapan ki khoj ho……usse mil hi jaata hai…….do you not see the apnapan in these posts being sent to you ?

  5. what a lovely, beautiful poem
    what is says… perfectly put
    and the rhythm of it… also
    it is like a gentle embrace
    or, if one could be small enough to sit within …

  6. Is it true that happy people cannot be creative? One has to be demanding, neurotic, incomplete, alienated, striving, reaching out …… Can you be domesticated, accepting, unambitious and stoic and still be creative?

  7. Before I dream deep
    apnapan
    I don’t know Sapna, stuck in an ego all of my own – it hurts.
    I am afraid that apnapan will not happen until I die.
    A baby is better versed in apnapan…

  8. Lovely simple poem…. encompassing so much.. so many people.. It took me though my own life… touching on a person here.. a person there.. all the moments of apnapan i have ever know.. of the deep belonging our soul thirsts for.
    Bless you for reminding me… of lost people.. of people regained… and the belonging..

  9. Dear Shekharji,
    Its simple and strong and deep… being where you are you may experience this apnapan (belonging) in so many ways… and that ofcourse can be seen in the poem. I just hope and pray that this poem is a reflection of the apnapan around you. covering you like a sheild.
    take care
    Lonely Traveller.

  10. hello sir, u r great filmmaker of india,i m proud of u, i m also struggling for Film as a editor, i like ur movies, and i like ur subject,today after seeing ur blog i m very happy that i got shekhar on my Laptop, bcz shekhar is very long than me, bcoz he is very big and i m very small and strugglar also, if possible so give me a chance to work with u …..

  11. Hmmm. Ashwani, are you sunshine? The thousand masked diva who haunts this blog? Is it a game of hide and seek?

  12. love is something which can be felt as the time passes if its true love then it is definitely going to take u to the path of success.trust is another one of the most valuable thing in love.its a very nice feeling n we all should experience it but with the right kind of person

  13. I am in awe of you sir.
    [In fact I posted this on my blog, (giving you all the due credit, ofcourse), including links and trackbacks. Please dont sue me.]

  14. Dear shekhar,
    This thought is haunting me, or rather lingering in my mind all the time.
    And its not so relevant anywhere on your blog. But i think i can manage to post it here.
    Very heart touching poem, wish u be in the company of such warm people.
    Now the quest…
    Who are friends?
    The one we can call ‘Apne’
    Are they the one who love us for what we are
    Are they the ones who are ruthless and rude to correct us when we go wrong,
    being least bothered if their rudeness would sour the relationship,
    Wishing that we walk only on the right path,
    Are they the ones who looks for us to share their happiness,
    Are they the ones who come to us when they are in need of someone,
    Are they the ones who are there for us in troubled times,
    Are they the ones who are always there for us through thick and thin???
    Whom can we actually call ‘Apne’ without a second thought?
    does anyone have an answer?

  15. The feeling of ‘apnapan’ gives u certain unwritten, unsollicited rights in a relationship – ‘haque’ – which u can exercice with carefree abandon. That’s what makes the relationship so beautiful, so apna. Each nuance that u have described, portrays this apnapan so beautifully. Its a very rare feeling because such relationships are rarer. If u can experience one such relationship in this life time, u r truly blessed.
    Uss haath ko tum thaam lo,
    Woh meherbaan kal ho na ho.
    I am waiting for that benediction.

  16. Dear Shekharji

    I am touched .AhhhтАж Apnapan тАУThere is a dee..p sense of love and belonging ,which is an irreducible need of all of us. We are physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved. When those needs are not met- we break,we fall apart. By building relations we create a source of love, belonging.
    Jo rishte apneaap bante hai wo тАЬunconditionalтАЭ hote hai.
    Jo rishte banaye jate hai wo zyadater тАЬcalculatedтАЭ hote hai.
    See why I am replying? There is Apnapan……
    Beautiful poem.
    Lots of love..
    Surabhi

  17. рд╢реЗрдЦрд░ рдЬреА,
    рдореИрдВрдиреЗ,рдЖрдкрдХреА рдЗрд╕ рд╕реБрдВрджрд░ рдХрд╡рд┐рддрд╛ рдХрд╛,рд╣рд┐рдВрджреА рдореЗрдВ рдЕрдиреБрд╡рд╛рдж рдХрд░рдиреЗ рдХреА рдЫреЛрдЯреА рд╕реА рдХреЛрд╢рд┐рд╢ рдХреА рд╣реИ…..

    “рдЕрдкрдирд╛рдкрди”

    рдЙрдВрдЧрд▓реА рдХрд╛ рдПрдХ рдХреЛрдорд▓ рд╕реНрдкрд░реНрд╢ рдФрд░ рдПрдХ рдкреИрд░ рдХрд╛,
    рдзреАрд░реЗ рд╕реЗ рдореЗрд░реЗ рд╕рд╣рд╛рд░реЗ рдЯрд┐рдХрд╛ рд▓реЗрдирд╛
    рдЕрдкрдирд╛рдкрди

    рдПрдХ рднреАрдбрд╝ рднрд░реЗ рдХрдорд░реЗ рдореЗрдВ, рдЕрдкрдирд╛ рд╕рд╛ рд╕рдордЭрддреА,
    рдЗрдХ рдирдЬрд╝рд░ рдХрд╛ рдорд┐рд▓рдирд╛
    рдЕрдкрдирд╛рдкрди

    рджреВрд╕рд░реЗ рдЫреЛрд░ рд╕реЗ рдПрдХ рдЧрд╣рд░реА рдлрд╝рд┐рдХреНрд░рдордВрдж рдЖрд╡рд╛рдЬ,
    рдЖрдк рдареАрдХ рддреЛ рд╣реИрдВ? рдкреВрдЫрдирд╛.
    рдЕрдкрдирд╛рдкрди

    рджреБ: рдЦ рдХреЗ рдмреЛрдЭ рддрд▓реЗ рдЭреБрдХреЗ рдореЗрд░реЗ рдХрдВрдзреЗ рдкрд░,
    рдзреАрд░реЗ рд╕реЗ рдПрдХ рд╣рд╛рде рдХрд╛ рд░рдЦрдирд╛.
    рдЕрдкрдирд╛рдкрди

    рд╣рд╡рд╛ рдХреЗ рдПрдХ рдЭреЛрдВрдХреЗ рдкрд░ рдЕрдирдХрд╣реИ
    рдкреНрдпрд╛рд░ рдХрд╛ рдкреИрдЧрд╝рд╛рдо рд╕реБрдирдирд╛
    рдЕрдкрдирд╛рдкрди

    рдмрд┐рдЫрдбрддреЗ рд╣реБрдпреЗ рд▓рдорд╣реЛ рдореЗ,рдЖрдБрдЦ рдХреА рдХреЛрд░ рд╕реЗ,
    рдЖрдВрд╕реВ рдХрд╛ рдЭрд▓рдХрдирд╛
    рдЕрдкрдирд╛рдкрди

    рдЙрд╕ рдкрд░ рд╕реЗ рддреБрдореНрд╣рд╛рд░реЗ
    рдЪрд┐рд░-рдкрд░рд┐рдЪрд┐рдд рдЕрдХреНрд╕ рдХрд╛, рдХрд░реБрдгрд╛ рд╕реЗ,
    рдЕрдкрдиреЗ рдореЗ рд╕рдореЗрдЯрдиреЗ рдХрд╛ рдирд┐рд░рд░реНрдердХ рдкреНрд░рдпрд╛рд╕ рдХрд░рдирд╛
    рдЕрдкрдирд╛рдкрди..

    рдЬрд╛рдирддреЗ рд╣реБрдП рдХрд┐,рдХрд╣реАрдВ рди рдХрд╣реАрдВ, рдХрднреА рди рдХрднреА,
    рдХрд┐рд╕реА рдЬрдЧрд╣ рдкрд░, рдПрдХ рдмрд╛рд░ рдлрд┐рд░ рд╕реЗ рдорд┐рд▓ рдЬрд╛рдПрдЧрд╛,
    рдпрд╣реА
    рдЕрдкрдирд╛рдкрди…..

    Regards
    Surabhi

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