Love given, not received

While most of us lament there is not enough love around, that the world would be so much better a place if people loved each other more, I want to put out a point for discussion. That most of us actually find it much more difficult to accept love than to give it. We often do not even recognize love when it is given, and if we do, we fear it. The fear that it will be snatched away the moment we accept it. We spend our lives protecting ourselves from being loved.

43 Responses to “Love given, not received”

  1. farah damji says:

    But you know, Shekar-ji that love comes with chains and padlocks that have no keys. It’s hard to accept love because it is never unconditional, except through the eyes of a child and when you have experienced that, the rest loses its value, fades away.By loving / being loved we pretend that we are the keepers of another person and we arent. It, nothing can last forever but we can’t accept the fact that the fairytale was a device to send us to sleep. If we wake up and accept the love in our life for that moment, we’d have to let go of our ages old and worn out expectations and sentimentality. Change is a killer.

  2. Pankaj says:

    What makes u think so deep shekhar – your age, your profession or is it just ur nature. This was exactly the problem in most of my relationships but its difficult to realise when it is happening with u. Very similar is happiness actually. This place has tought me a lot of things but more than anything it has made me understand my own self in a better way. Keep up the gud work shekharji, and keep throwing questions like this.

  3. Because life we are leading is not natural, Our minds and thoughts are conditioned and controlled by the variouse systems. When we were babies, were we afraid about all these things? No.,As we grow ..so called knowledge and education and variouse systems of different societies conditioned us.And result is what we are now,
    I remember as a kid, watching a movie use to be a great fun,cause that used to be 100% watching.Now I have lost that innocense in me, cause ? My thoughts are been conditioned over the period, by just a so called education and knowledge (which is so incomplete and litle).The system we made for our growth actually becomes the killer of purity and compassion in us, and now we live in fear.
    “WE don’t need no education”
    we don’t need no thought control!

  4. kavitha says:

    “We often do not even recognize love when it is given, and if we do, we fear it. The fear that it will be snatched away…”
    Is it fear that it will be snatched away? Or is it fear of an expectation for more of you, from you, out of you — that you have to give/let go/compromise something yourself? Fear, in the former is about the ‘giver’, in the latter, about the ‘receiver’.
    Water, showered on soil, feeds & nourishes. Water on a sheet of metal drifts away. Can the piece of metal ever be able to savor and soak in the purity and enriching virtues of water, until its composition disintegrates to its state of organic elements?

  5. Shekhar,
    today i recieved a just random junk mail , and i made 2 minutes short out of it.its about our world.check it out here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwjEEqhiIig
    regards

  6. mahesh Kumar says:

    Dear Shekhar,
    What love are you atalking about? Love for parents and siblings is lost in the complex world of ‘economics’.Romatic love between man and women is lost to expectations,social acceptence and future prospects. Love for one another is lost to mistrust,caste,religion and hate.Even “true love” stands before a humanbeing, he will surely calculate a balance sheet out of it. Economics surely changed the way love is looked up on (rather calculated up on).

  7. Nav says:

    I think love for another person is a very practical aspect of life. When two people need appreciation and need to appreciate, that is love, and since the need is so great, we write poetry about it. “Har Khushi ko teri Taraf mod doon, tere Liye chand tare tak tod doon, itna kafi hai ya do char jhooth aur bol doon”.
    When the need for attention from a aprticular person diminishes we still write poetry about it. And there are frequent references to chains and heavy padlocks.
    It’s all about need. I threw away 3 handbags yesterday, since I got one that looks better and serves the purpose better too.

  8. Rudra says:

    Nav,
    Human need takes strange shapes – for normal individuals , it is a matter that is resolved by communication and nultiple considerations.
    There are some mentally ill – psychologically wanting , immature or otherwise , plain victimised individuals – who spread havoc in the lives of people they touch – they seem innocent while actually incapable of exorcising the ghosts and insufficiencies of their hearts.
    they take re-course to strange forms of attachmeent and wont rest till they see the other individual , however kind is brought crashing down too – i think many indian mindests are made this way.
    Blind to emotional intelligence , closed to accepting the practical side of things , they even change the definition of love to suit their needs , they manipulate people using what many in india are s familia with – emotional blackmail.
    we see this as a feature of generation gap – in every part of the world – but it is the unfortunate few who bump into these half-baked , half-made marshmellows of people !
    what do you think ?

  9. nav says:

    Farah is talking about unconditional love. I think that means “give it to me, don’t ask for it” or “be happy with what I am giving you but stay with me. if you don’t, you don’t love me unconditionally “. I think the fear in the receiver, is not about receiving. I think it is about having to give back. I agree with Kavitha that we fear love because it might want us to come out of our inertia (speed and direction), it might want us to change.
    Rudra,
    I think each one of us invite people into our lives (exclude ones that we are stuck with bcoz of birth), because we “need” these half baked, half made marshmellows of peole in our lives at that time for one reason or other. Perhaps for baked portions that looks good and tempting.
    Sometimes we gatecrash into their lives because we are curious and tempted because unfortunately, we saw only the baked side. And other times we just want to teach them about spirituality..But then there comes a point when we have to deal with the unbaked side…now that is not fun….and WHAM that’s when involvement of chain and padlock starts. Ofcourse, most of us need “baked” people in our lives.
    Soemtimes we get drawn to the ugly and unbaked sides of people, atleast for sometime out of curiosity. Then it becomes too hard to handle that. That’s another time when we want to blame them for taking so much of our time, emotion and what not.
    I think love is an overrated emotion.It is really a need to reproduce and to be emotionally secure . Since this emotion is associated with physical needs, to make it look nicer on outside (there must be some point in history when sex was not under covers (only figuratively speaking), but i am talking about today and now), we fluff it up to make it look glorious.
    Well, I was sharing my experience and view above but Rudra, it seems that you never blackmailed anybody emotionally. As an expert in this field, if you offer correspondence/online courses on this subject, I would be interested. If you don’t, you might wanna. Also consider teaching “normal” forms of attachment.

  10. simran says:

    Rudra and Nav,
    I respect Indian culture. People in India do not pretend to know what love is. Love for us is knowing all about someone and still wanting to be with them more than any other person. Love is trusting the person feeling safe and comfortable with the person, but still feeling weak when you see that person see you or smile at you.In india, we are inculcated with values which teach us that love is forever. Believe in long lasting relationship.A minor issue or misunderstanding should not create a crack into relationship.Trouble is a part of every relationship, it is in our hands to just forgive and forget the person when he/she is seeking forgiveness.
    Rudra, People in India do not believe in hurting anybodys emotions. Nor do they believe in playing games with a persons heart. And yes, if they do create some misunderstanding, they definitely believe in seeking forgiveness. Struggling to keep the relationship going on forever. They do not jump from one relationship to other…that easily.
    The last sukta of “RIGVEDA” which is a prayer to AGNI has the mantras for welfare of all.”Let everyone think with one mind, Let the hearts of all be bound by love, Let everyone have the same goal. Let everyone be contended and happy.
    Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whome fate brings you together but do so with all your heart.

  11. Rudra says:

    Simran,
    i was playing the devil’s advocate to the role of culture and its interference in individual choices.
    i have a feeling ,we in india are going through a transision – the soul of india took a beating in the medieval ages when the worst forms of haulocaust were inflicted on a liberal , truly free indian mind .
    but then , many of our individual choices ( not just as indians alone ) but as human beings are edited by these cultural moorings !
    i was only trying to focus on this aspect where , there is so much emotional baggage and i do think it is a sorry state of affairs if a nation , civilisation or culture ( however ancient or high-souled ) has to provide guiedelines to a man-woman relationship – an essential existential reality.
    this is where the definition of ‘Love’ assumes importance – in my interactions with many people, i have concluded that the westerners have manytimes either no idea of this ‘spiritual’ quality to love we indians so commonly seem to talk of – in fact love is a word used most often while sharing an orgasm – something indians (only generally speaking ) do without even knowing someeone !!
    i think , with greater inter-sexual dialogue , india can once again shake off the stifling islamic-christian morality off its soul ( an effect of those conquests in the madieval times ) and be once again the land of kalidasa , gandharva way of life and be the land of kamasutra , it once was !!

  12. shehla says:

    im not sure whether the communnity is aware of the umar and the priyanka episode in bhopal few days back.
    i would like to share the story and would like to have your comments and shekhar G Comments as well…
    A Hindu girl and a Muslim boy fell in love with each other. Parents of the girl did not approve of the match. So they eloped and got married and said..
    Kill and be happy.
    Indeed,
    This is the definition
    Of animal love.
    Possess and be happy,
    Indeed,
    This is the definition
    Of human love.
    Become one and be happy.
    Indeed,
    This is the definition
    Of divine love.
    On the other hand Government driven by communal ideology came up with moves, which many a times astound us beyond belief. But quite predictable.
    The UMAR-A LA UMESH & PRIYANKA endeavor was like a prod, and was a chance for various arrangements. Vicious protest, agitations, hostility from the saffron brigade- and a code of conduct for Sindhi girls thrown upon. Least bothered about the rights of a female, the kanya suraksha samiti, non existed muslim organizations came to breathe, were shown on TV Channels who questioned supremacy of female. Few among the people claiming the moral guardians were speaking, rattling for no rhyme or reason but for publicity and various channels exhibited that non sense forgetiing that Religion was clearly developed to keep decorum in the society. To eradicate the inquisitors by the root.
    Marriage is absolutely a personal matter and so is the religion. Outside outfits have no right to interfere and create a mess. Outfits like RSS & BD are a blot on the secular fabric of our society. These people in the name of defending India’s rich culture and heritage are in reality trampling people’s right to freedom of choice
    The relationship of Police and the Muslims is of doubt and suspicion was once again highlighted. Police harassment and prejudice was evident by implicating a abduction case to maintain peace and serenity forgetting the bustle created by the police. The police denied the allegation of detaining until shown on your channel. The hangover of Muslim sentiments in the police force is a stereotype, which has refused to die with the times for reasons
    India became secular through a struggle for democracy. India became secular through the efforts for caste and gender equality. It became secular through the efforts of those who participated in the freedom movement irrespective of their religion. Those opposed to democracy and the values of Liberty, Equality and fraternity stood by the side, Muslim League and Hindu Mahasabha; RSS, the embodiments the politics based on the intolerant traditions of those religions.
    Secularism stands not only for equal citizenship rights of people of all religions, it also stands for the abolition of caste/class and gender hierarchy. In fact none of the institutions of religion tolerate this equality of caste, class and gender. These values of hierarchy, in the post colonial phase have also assumed the form of politics in the name of religion, fundamentalism of different hues. Most of the fundamentalist movements emerging from different religions are opposed to the process of transformation of caste and gender equations towards equality.
    Belief or devotion is far way from the foes of inter-religious marriage. Fanatics do not know the true religion to its depth. They are used by the selfish and shrewd people to serve their ulterior motives to harm the humanity. The projection that our religion is in danger is again a common denominator of all religion based politics. The political goals of elite are given the status of interests of that religion. So Muslim League representing the interests of Muslim elite will call for Islam in danger and so the call for violence. The empowerment of Adivasis through education, by the Christian missionaries, is a threat to the interests of Hindu elite so Hinduism in danger and so the burning of Pastor Stains. Proud acts of lenience!
    Although the courts and the government on various occasions have upheld secular values it hasn’t created enough fear among the terrorists who manage to get away with heinous crimes due to loopholes in the legal systems.
    Secularism actually means an attitude unconnected with any religion. But if asked its meaning an Indian would invariably say that secularism means ‘religious tolerance’. Why is it that this term which is enshrined in our constitution should have a popular misconception about its meaning? To answer this question we would have to probe deeper into Indian polity and the dialectics of Hinduism, the religion of the majority.
    You can’t make a nation just by riding high on economical front. A nation is made by people and India is made of Hindus as well as Muslims. You can’t ignore your one hand and think that you will do with the other one. You might be very successful with your one hand and may be the most successful individual in the world, but still one day when you will think you will find that had you been with both of your hands you could have done better. If not better the taste of the victory must have been more satisfying. At least you could have clapped on your own success. All religions are different organs of this body we call India, no doubt we can do without one or two of them but will definitely miss out somewhere in the long run. We should learn from the mistakes and try not to emulate others if we ourselves think that they have done wrong. The never-ending lust for positions of power in politicians numbs them to compromise on issues of extreme communal intolerance. Few restrained from openly coming out because they never wanted to project an Anti-Hindu image and lose out on Hindu vote banks. The inherent fear to lose Hindu votes of few parties has given communal forces a free hand to indulge in unhindered violence.
    The recognition of the authority of the clergy is coming back assertively in the social and political space due to unfortunate rise of the politics of identity as witnessed in India and in large sections of the World. Clash of civilizations is the mast head of the US imperialist designs of strengthening its empire in large parts of the World. Politics is adorning the apparel of religion and so there is increasing importance of the clergy of most of the religions.
    So the people who have relied too long on religion can not even dream about a world without those pillars on which their whole life has rested. Without religion they are exposed. It’s about the condition of a common man who suddenly realizes in the middle of the street that he is naked. That is why religion needs to be revamped with times. Changed so that people don’t lose the perspective of life and behave like unreigned horses being (mis)guided by religion.
    There needs to be an antidote for religion, a cure that makes the people understand that religion was just a way of teaching them the paths of life, it was just a medium and not the end in itself. Don’t just read and believe. Read, test and understand, elminate what doesn’t fit with times only then will you be truly religious. Clearly there has been an overdose of the religion pill which was supposed to be an answer to all the human fallacies, but the drug has reacted ; Religion has turned out to be a drug that failed

  13. Nav says:

    Rudra,
    Questions for you:
    1.What is knowing someone?
    2.What in your view is a perfect man-woman relationship?
    3.Pardon my lack of knowledge about my own history but what exactly happened in land of Kalidasa, what is Gandhrava way of living? What happened in land of Kamasutra?
    Please try to elaborate, as I have some severe limitations about this profound subject of man-woman relationship. Those relationships i was born with are easier to understand. Friendships are within my area of brightness. I think I can use some of your wisdom on the matter of love.

  14. kishore says:

    Indeed.. I would emphatically agree it is easier to fall in love than to accept love. Or when it is accepted, to concede yourself then. It is more fun for many to chase than to be chased. Love is a fearsome thing for many. They think : oh, it may bring obligations, or commitments, or shame, or, God forbid – a change to my life.
    Acceptance though is not necessary.. if it is really love, it is felt. And that is divine. One understands a little bit more about how we are all connected. And one moves on. Love is educational, just as many other good and bad experiences in life are.. Ultimately we all die alone, the more we understand about life, the more peacefully we pass away.

  15. Rudra says:

    Dear Nav,
    My knowledge on this man-woman complex is an evolving one. I think there is nothing like a ‘perfect’ man-woman relationship – since there is an interplay of the ‘person behind the gender’.
    Some people are compulsive and dont realise their own disorder – or even chaos. so it becomes difficult to define things in a general sense for them – i am not sure what your own inner workings are , but different people have different visions and let alone man-woman realtionships , any human relationship is think evolves about shares values and visions – if there is no shared value and vision – it becomes difficult to tolerate people in personal space – this is true for individuals , societies , civilizations , even nations !!
    India was a land where women were able to travel freely , express themselves in all ways unmolested for thousands of years , even choose their partner in the swayamwara system , even have an adult relationship in the gandharva style , where sexuality was not associated with primal ‘ sin ‘ ( unlike Judo-Chrisian Adam who commits the first known sin in screwing Eve !) . Sexuality in India was a divine expression , a natural microcosmic union of the male and female energies inherent in nature !
    Obviously the history of the last 1000 years has not been well for this ancient land of peace , profundity , truest freedom and profundity. We have become or have assumed Slavish mentality ( owning also to Karmic effects ) and we Indians as a civilization need to shake off these shackles!!

  16. Nav says:

    Rudra,
    What is the value of communication of shared values and vision? How do you figure out if two people have shared values? Is there room for human error? Does only saying right things imply shared values? How do the mundane stresses of life effect the shared values?
    Do you think wanton sex was considered ok in ancient india. I have read some of Kalidasas works, mostly translations, one way or the other. I think the emotional or spiritual bonding was an important factor. I am not sure how twisted the current version of India’s ancient knowledge is, do you think the metaphysical couplings of Vishnu-Lakshami, Shiv-Parvati or her other manifestations evolved as a result of “marriage” as “slavish” mentality -to use your words? Do you think it is fine to have multiple partners in the views of our scriptures? it gets confusing as shiva and parvati, lakshami and vishnu, brahma and brahmani have one consort, so to speak-Parvati had different manifestations, but then Ganesha has Ridhi and Siddhi as his consorts.
    I have never come across any anecdote, where a woman went out of marriage- even if it was with multiple partners, but not same for men . She was always the Sati-one who had was devoted to the husband/lover? Did our scriptures made life of a woman miserbale tying her to one husband-good or bad for her entire life sometimes more than one life. What do you think about that? What do you think about Tulsidas’s view that women among other animals should be kept in her position. I don’t think he is that ancient, only few hundered years.
    My view is that our scriptures put women in such an elavated position because she can love without having to experience sex, as a mother she is more intuitive. Bu then there are women our scriptures call “Kulakshini” which means depraved or degenerate. Also, their our men they called “Maryada Purshottam”. Do you think the understanding was different in different times depending on the social structure.
    Well, today in general is degenerate in my view…seeing the word incest in such a high frequency…do you think we understand love any more. What is right and what is not? Is only what one thinks and feels right?

  17. Nav says:

    Kishore,
    I agree with you that eventually we die alone. Love is just another way to pass time in a manner that feels good. Though, understanding life makes passing away easier, it makes living difficult. So deep freeze the brain when the puberty hits, enjoy and move on.

  18. abc says:

    To me love is a bonding, attachment or the habit of someone. I lost the love of my life 10 years ago. But still I can feel her in almost every moment of my life. Its strange that I never realized how much I loved her when she was around. Today, of course, I live in the fear that u r talking about.

  19. The Lonely Traveller says:

    Hello Shekhar Ji
    i will tell you a little story
    ” There was a little girl lost and alone. she would often sit on the terrace at nights and stare at the sky… wen asked by her aunt she said she was looking for someone… she never told anyone whom she was looking for… but one day an angel came into her life who again brought smile back to her face and she stopped gazing at the stars instead all day and all night she thought of the angel .. he was very nice … she felt very conmfortable with him… she could tell him almost everything and was ready to listen to anything…. they had a wonderful time and she felt blessed… but one day suddenly the angel disappeared. without even letting her know what it was that made him leave…. and till date there is no answer …. what will you say about this????
    Wil wait for a reply
    Traveller

  20. shekhar says:

    lonely traveller, I would say that I would rather have such blessings from an Angel, rather than not have the angel come into my life at all. It is I who have to learn not to get addicted. For addiction is not what the Angel came to give me, but a glimpse of eternity so I might aspire to it. Shekhar

  21. Lonely Traveller says:

    I was lost and alone
    helpless i cried a tear
    It fell and shattered like a glass
    the sound an angel could hear
    And then he walked up to me
    compassion in his eyes
    and taught me how to smile in pain
    to face but not to cry
    He woke me up from the sleep
    and brought me to the light
    And one day just with a blink of eye
    vanished from my sight
    Leaving me nowhere to go
    i only and only want to know
    why ……..
    thank you shekhar ji …..
    Traveller

  22. kishore says:

    Nav –
    I notice a note of great bitterness in your reply.
    I also did not understand it completely, are you saying that gaining a better understanding of life makes living more difficult? I’m puzzled because I would have thought otherwise. It’s possible our notion of ‘understanding’ is different.

  23. Nav says:

    Kishore,
    It’s more anguish. it comes from being unable to match the perception to reality on many levels. What I meant was knowing life/reality better does not really leave much to look forward to.
    Everyday, I see animals trampled by cars on highways..hear about men killing each other, women and children being raped and killed, old people being tortured by their own children. That makes me think of life as a twisted reality.I am trying to make sense of right and wrong different from what I thought before I came out of my familiar and so comforting zone.
    Somebody I met today said something that made lot of sense to me, and I think it might help me close the gap in what I think about reality and what it really is. People probably call it growing up, may be i have been wandering in wonderland too long.
    Shekhar,what do you think is right and what is wrong?

  24. Vijayanthi says:

    hi shekhar,
    Its now becoming a habit to read you when I am looking for some answers…
    Something I wrote, and mustered courage after hours to put up on your comments page:
    Thought I had moved on..
    from the love I loved
    beyond my living self
    Between the second
    I glanced at the corpse and
    the second my car moved…
    Everything I lost
    and everything
    that slips away from me
    brings to life
    what I have today
    Between the two seconds
    the world and its
    hastily collected small change..
    gathered to give
    the cobbler
    a decent burial;
    my life summarized two tears
    For my love
    For my ingenuity
    For the naivette
    of loving again
    and continuing
    sporadically.. in moments
    Life goes on
    at the cross roads
    backwards at sunset
    forwards at rush hour traffic.
    I cant claim to be able to articulate as well as you or many other writers on your blog, but like we are always taught to be on the run…sometimes our search for love is also like a journey, even when someone asks us to stop and look at them, at a certain point, we believe there is a world much more scenic and lovable than where we are this moment. We try and look for something better – unable to accept that this is reality. We discard the “this” because we have attained something and therefore it becomes useless to us.

  25. Lonely Traveller says:

    Dear Shekharji
    Can I ask you something? Is it really possible to live what you said..? how is it possible to allow someone to come into your life and then let that person leave all of a sudden… is it obsession or love? If i say i cannot live without a person – why do people tend to term it obsession or addiction… is love not the right word for it …. Waiting to hear from you

  26. xyz says:

    All I can say is Love makes you sick.

  27. shyma says:

    Ummmmmmmmm…wasnt this one of the discourses Sri Sri gave? or was it J Krishnamurthy? 🙂 I have read this before and I am confused…
    And if Love were ever understood, then it would just loose its meaning 🙂

  28. centerOcyclone says:

    i guess it was said by Osho.

  29. Isha Choudhary says:

    I don’t understand that why would anybody find it difficult to accept love. Just the fear that our love might not stay with us forever cant make us let go that most special person in our life. No one can resist true love. One needs to be matured enough to sustain all the love given to him.

  30. alka puri says:

    Zindagi is tarah se lagne lagi,
    rang udh jaaye jo deewaron se,
    ab chupaane ko kuch na raha,
    zakhm dikhne lage deewaron se……
    Toote patthon ke reh guzar nahi hota,
    koyi koocha, koi ghar nahi hota,
    aadhmi thakh to jaayega aakhir ek din,
    apni laash ko uthaane se….
    zindagi is tarah se lagne lagi, r
    rang udh jaaye jo deewaron se…

  31. Tracy-Ann says:

    I was not aware there were so many lost, scared and misguided individuals on this beautiful planet of ours. It is so hard to understand how such sensible individuals can be so out of touch with themselves and their inner persons. Guys I am not hating but I have read every entry on this page and I see so much love emanating from you all, but it is being suffocated by confusion and the inability to let our past experiences be what they are…past experiences, life lessons. Smile about, cry about, languish about-for a little bit maybe half an hour no more and move on. There are so many things to experience on this earth that we should not waste a moment debating emotons that can only be felt and shared on a level that cant be “calculated”. HAHA.

  32. medha ashtekar says:

    all you bitter people out there…
    go and adopt a dog and see how it tranforms you…but be cautious- adopt a puppy if you are sensitive and responsible enough to take care of it….
    Rudyard kipling has rightly said in his poem
    Power of dog…
    THERE is sorrow enough in the natural way
    From men and women to fill our day;
    And when we are certain of sorrow in store,
    Why do we always arrange for more?
    Brothers and Sisters, I bid you beware
    Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.
    Buy a pup and your money will buy
    Love unflinching that cannot lie—
    Perfect passion and worship fed
    By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.
    Nevertheless it is hardly fair
    To risk your heart for a dog to tear.
    When the fourteen years which Nature permits
    Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits,
    And the vet’s unspoken prescription runs
    To lethal chambers or loaded guns,
    Then you will find—it’s your own affair—
    But . . . you’ve given your heart to a dog to tear.
    When the body that lived at your single will,
    With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!).
    When the spirit that answered your every mood
    Is gone—wherever it goes—for good,
    You will discover how much you care,
    And will give your heart to a dog to tear.
    We’ve sorrow enough in the natural way,
    When it comes to burying Christian clay.
    Our loves are not given, but only lent,
    At compound interest of cent per cent.
    Though it is not always the case, I believe,
    That the longer we’ve kept ’em, the more do we grieve.
    For, when debts are payable, right or wrong,
    A short-time loan is as bad as a long—
    So why in—Heaven (before we are there)
    Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?
    I say- no matter how many times my heart is tore by that deserving creature..i will still have a place in my heart and in my life for My DOGs…I will risk my heart…

  33. Jaydev Dhakan says:

    absolutely true.
    and after losing it you feel silly.

  34. como esta vie says:

    “We find it harder to accept love, than to give it.” This is the best explanation for how suicide happens. Its hardest to accept love from ourselves, so we kill ourselves.

  35. Rosa says:

    Real love comes from within and it’s expressed as love for the sake of love and nothing else.
    Hesitating to receive love can be a reflection of the receiver’s misconceived idea that love is conditional, ie some sort of response is expected in return.
    I think all actions in life are either based on love or fear. Once you let go of fear of loss you open yourself to love.
    Real love gives freedom and lets go.
    Giving and receiving real love is joyful. If it is not experienced this way then it isn’t real love.
    Real love is proactive rather than reactive.

  36. North says:

    “We spend our lives protecting ourselves from being loved.”
    so very true Shekhar!! My Mother and I had a conversation about love – and she said those whom cannot allow love IN, are that way, because they feel unworthy to be loved.. yet, they secretly crave it.
    I am still confused by that… (at my age) and find myself living her diagnosis.
    Love,
    North

  37. XYZ says:

    we do fear that the love given shall be snatched anytime, but not always. maybe the fear comes when there isn’t depth in it, maybe when the love we receive is from the core of a person’s heart we won’t fear it . just my point of view .

  38. zafeer says:

    This video is copied from lines from the movie “good will hunting”… robin williams says to Matt damon when he talks abt his life (scene is the one on one sessions in his office).. wonder why we fail to have original dialogues in hindi films.. touching scene, none the less.

  39. Janita says:

    To me love means a lot.To give and to take. To accept the one you love how he / she is.
    When it is necessary love can mean to let go, or to let someone go. Trust with the greatest confidence.
    Life without have being loved is a wasted life.
    Let love in side you.Let it flow from you bottom of soul to your heart. It’s the strongest feeling i know so far. Since love entered in my life, there is no place for fear.

  40. We’re a gaggle of volunteers and starting a brand new scheme in our community. Your website offered us with useful info to work on. You have done an impressive task and our whole neighborhood can be thankful to you.

  41. Molly Tandon Kapoor says:

    Very interesting perspectives… The question I usually ask myself is ‘how does one define love’.? Every other word has an absolute black and white meaning, except Love! Or atleast for me. After having loved and lost more than once, I look at it as a responsibility. A two way responsibility – to give what is required and to be grateful for what is received. And more often than not, it is not in the same proportion and in the same way as you give.. The more grateful one is for what is received, the more disproportionate it becomes in your favour. This is a hard thing to do, even I fail many times, but I try to reflect as much as possible and remind myself of my good luck at having someone to love and be loved by someone.

    Right now, I’m in love with myself, and getting it back so well 🙂

  42. Vanshdeep Bhardwaj says:

    Hi Molly

    Well! said. The saddest thing in this day and age is where people have too much to expect rather than to accept and respect each other as we are, therefore – Love tends to become a two way street. In fact most of the people are not in Love with themselves but some sort of a trade. I feel if one knows fully loves himself/herself, madly and deeply to love the inner core, they shall not only be free but also bear no weight on their shoulders. They would know how to give back naturally & unconditionally. These are just my view points.

    If you ever get a chance just see a video on Youtube.com by “Awakening with Brahmkumaris – Expectation to Acceptance” by Sister Shivani with Suresh Oberoi. I am sure you will enjoy it.

  43. Surabhi says:

    Pranaam Shekhar ji

    Interesting! This is the problem in most of relationships. Our mind is controlled. Yes, often we do not even recognize love when it is happening…its presence. Yes, it is fear! may be fear of expectations. Love is there in almost every moment of life… Good night.
    Regards
    Surabhi

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