Before

we never met the first time
we never met
there was no such time..
for u were there
and so was I
before….


we shall never meet the next time
we shall never meet
there will be no such time
for you’ll be there
and so will I
before …
I know I had posted this earlier,
but the closest I touched eternity
was when I plunged truly,
chaotically
and effortlessly
in love.
love
that went beyond …
just beyond…
everything..
and then,
life made it”s presence felt
like vultures tearing at my spirit
wake up ! wake up !
my vultures scream
it’s just a dream
but I am awake, I said
for the first time in my life
I am truly awake
please please please
do not put me back to sleep,
but in that struggle
love was lost
the spirit vanished
and i am back in slosh
each step tring to extricate itself from the other
each breath sucking at the heavy polluted thick air
and so
the yearning begins again
the agony builds again
the passion bursting and setting fire again
screaming
do not foresake me
love
can u not be eternal
and remain so ?
Shekhar

15 Responses to “Before”

  1. Aditi says:

    This is beautiful!

  2. heather says:

    yes, i agree with Aditi — but also — that is a gorgeous new shot on your main blog page! who is it, where / when was it taken, by whom?

  3. shekhar says:

    Thanks heather, that is a shot of my daughter and I, taken about 8 months ago, in Delhi at a farm. shekhar

  4. heather says:

    it was beautiful when it was there, like love often is, but now it’s gone, like love often is, it was only a semblance, like love often is.
    the eternity of her in your life, and you in hers, is whole, is real, is love, is love.

  5. heather says:

    the image is eternal, now, again.

  6. Cinda says:

    …what has come to pass
    again
    once felt
    many many years ago
    this love is fresh and new
    it feels of sheer joy and bliss
    the beat of your heart
    pulsates upon my breast
    at the sound of your voice
    I quiver
    and
    the current of love
    flows through me
    to light this entire universe
    we are both…and one
    a magical gift has whispered its spell
    please don’t let me come out of this
    falling in love with you
    all over again
    its where the entire world
    has beauty and peace
    a heavan
    here on earth
    …you

  7. Desh says:

    Shekhar:
    Here is my take on this:
    I love her…
    I love her…
    yet I cant find her.
    Her yearning creates our distance..
    Her Loss Kills me!
    Should I love or not?
    (written: Aug 15, 2006)

  8. Mallika Jalan says:

    I saw your interview on the National Network of Indian TV. Here you mentioned that you respond to emails you recieve on this iste – some of them at least. I write with the hope that you will respond to this one.
    I am a young (just starting out) film producer (as separate from a financier) who wants to make films. I have a tremendously talented director and a very exciting script. How do I raise funds? I need for this film – international technological expertise and funds to the tune I think, of Rs. 20.00 crore. It will not be a ‘bollywood blockbuster’ but an interesting film. I ernestly wait to hear from you. I love your films and what you are doing with yourself professionally. I have great regards for both.

  9. Hi Shekhar,
    Love, the word itself takes us in a dream world, In a world were nothing goes wrong, Life is beautiful ,life Is perfect, well there is illusion in this too brought by media, movies, songs and yes even stories of romeo julliet and bla bla.
    When u normally feel u love someone u tend to give the person that area of ur self which is empty bcoz u feel the next person can fill that portion and make u complete, U r under the illusion that, that moment of life is the most beautifull moment, well u actually feel so the only reason being the next person has occupied that empty part of ur self which had insecurities, which had the feeling of non acceptance andÖÖ.and when u give that area of YOUR self to someone else and be under the illusion that the person will stay in that portion and complete u, u make a mistake. Bcoz all u have done is that u have rented out that part of ur room in which even u couldnít stay. The day the person moves out of that place all u feel is emptiness within u, which was there even before that person came in ur life, but today it is visible. That emptiness is there within every individual, and only that individual can fill it.
    Well in that case why do we need a life partner?, or what is the need to love someone else u rather spend time with urself. From where I see it , a individual can seek help from a person who he thinks can help him to fill that emptiness within rather than renting out the place. In that way two incomplete individuals can help each other being independent, that is real growth and true love.
    When u tend to love a individual , in the beginning it might be a physical attraction but with time and sharing u to tend build a strong bond, when u truly love a person I donít think so u just love the image of the person u have formed in ur mind, u tend to love the person with the changes he goes through, u love to see him grow and love to grow along with him, example could be like a father seeing a child grow, it is beautiful moment for a father.
    Well this topic will remain incomplete always, takecare.
    Pankaj

  10. Sanjukta Sen says:

    Dear Shekher
    Do you find financers for the producers!!!
    Saw a letter and was surprised why people are writing you for financers???. And That too for 20 Croe! Which is an impractical amount for a non-bollywood film!!Sounds funny.
    Sanjukta

  11. Pallavi says:

    it like liking the person you once loved isnt it…just liking
    why does it have to be irrational and like a drug induced high…. all grand and emphasised through every action and thought…
    why cant it be allowed to be a little passive… to be allowed to wane a bit at times…. how much energy can be expected from one source and one source only
    why cant you just like someone you love sometimes without wanting to jump them and get into their heads….
    its unfair

  12. Pallavi says:

    it like liking the person you once loved isnt it…just liking
    why does it have to be irrational and like a drug induced high…. all grand and emphasised through every action and thought…
    why cant it be allowed to be a little passive… to be allowed to wane a bit at times…. how much energy can be expected from one source and one source only
    why cant you just like someone you love sometimes without wanting to jump them and get into their heads….
    without expecting them to fire you up everytime without fail…. why does it have to be fireworks… and how sustainable is that kind of effect…

  13. Simo ezoubeiri says:

    I have a penchant to make films like you oneday..I dream about it..why not!
    I hope we can be friends even you seem to be busy all times Mr kapur.

  14. Dear Kapurji, i enjoyed reading all ur thoughts thru the weblog.
    few yrs back i happened to pen a poem(pasted below from my blog (http://lightsandshades.blogspot.com) almost in the same topic. thought let me share it with you.
    Love is eternal
    Love is something divine, of humanity a subtle sign,
    Love is not an epic : nor is it a relic..
    Itís not a mere act, nor a signed pact .
    Itís a precious gift to mankind, breath of the inner mind.
    It melts even a stone, soothing balm when we moan,
    It has been here since evolution ..A little word that can bring revolution.
    If your love is really true, you can change your enemy too!
    The embrace of love is so warm,It has a latent ecstacy and charm;
    It is a flower, spreading fragrance,A sublime expression of elegance,
    It has no caste, nor any creed ,It presents itself in every breed..
    Be it mother and child , master and pet,
    Or God and devotee, a special bond is set.
    It has no language , It cannot speak!But in silence , is its peak !
    May its roots spread far and deep..Never to let weeds of hatred peep !
    For, love is universal !
    LOVE IS ETERNAL !
    keep enthusing people with ur sanguine thoughts.
    i feel lucky for having come across ur blog!
    namastey

  15. natasha says:

    can love remain eternal….. does it always lose to reality…why is love not a part of this reality..why does it have to be pain…why is happily ever after always a fairytale…love is everywhere all the time…uncontrollable unexplainable then why is it so difficult… we as humans can explain in detail what goes on in the universe, in space, why then is a thing so simple, within us since and for eternity, as love not explainable…

Leave a Reply