About Myself

At 22, was an accountant in London long before I dreamt of bieng a film-maker ..


I was successful. But uncomfortable.
I remember strongly feeling the chasm between what I did and who I was. The young man at play (those were the swinging 70’s don’t forget), and the one at work were two completely different people. With almost a schizophrenic relationship with each other.
So I left accounting in search for a way to overcome that duality.
On the way I have been a model, an actor, a chat show host both in India and the UK, a commercials film maker both in India and Europe, and a film director, also in India and internationally. I also ran an entertainment TV channel, and was for a while a scuba diving instructor.
To find a way define every moment of my waking life as one complete whole, rather than one that is structured into different compartments. One complete emotional all encompassing feeling that embodied everything I did,felt and thought. I just wanted to express myself completely in everything that I did.
The journey turned out much much longer than I thought. It continues to this day. Because the duality existed not merely between work and play, but within work and play.
But on the way, I started to understand some things.
That the words ‘truth’, ‘love’ and ‘compassion’ took on different meanings from those boring idealistic interpretations that were rammed down our throats when we were kids.
There was power,I later discovered, in these concepts. The power to hold everything together. Like falling in love, I discovered.
All structures fall apart in the throes of the first passions of love. All duality dissapeared. Everything emcompassed by that one emotion. Bieng in the throes of love, even life and death encompassed by that one emotion.
Whenever I fell deeply in love, I lived the moment completely. That’s what I realized it was all about. I felt a surge of courage I had not felt before. With that courage came such incredible fullfilment of that moment, thatI did not fear the next. Death too, at that time became acceptable. My ‘cup of love’ as they say, would be full.
But how does on stay in love all the time ? How does one continue this passion all the time ? If the love was derived from one singular person you could wreak havoc on their lives. I have done that before. And my own too. For I had not (atleast not at that time) learnt to ‘let go’ in love. I had not learnt that the attempt for permanence would utimately kill passion. That love was so much greater when lived in a womb of freedom. That there could no ‘ownership’ in love.
Thats where I began to understand the concepts of Meera’s obsession for Krishna. There was no desire on Meera’s part to have a singular relationship with Krishna. Or the Poetry of Rumi and his obsession for his friend. I discovered the difference between Obsession and Ownership. By directing all your passions to an imagined universal force, you could go on deriving from it. Forever. As long as you realized that the obsession for other person was only your conduit to the universe. To yourself.
And then u could continue to exist in that state of creative passion. I began to understand the concept of Prasadam. Where everything you create, you are merely the conduit. Everything you own, is merely an offering that is never complete. At a function in New York where I was awarded the critics award for Best Director, I said from the bottom of my heart :
” I did not direct the film. I am learning not to direct my films. I am learnng that I am merely the gardener. The garden grows. The sun shines. The rains come. The seeds sprout. the flowers bloom. And I watch. Having been the conduit through which the seeds were planted, I merely encompass the garden with love. In return the garden encompasses me with love. And together, we watch in wonder at the creation of the Universe’s bounty”
I am learning the power of not imposing. I am learning the power throwing everything to the moment. I understand that is what the concept of Prasadam means.
and gradually, in this path, I try and let the duality, my individuality melt away. Will I suceed ?
Well, isn’t that question once again reaffirming my individuality though ? Who is that ‘I’ that wants to suceed.
Shekhar

63 Responses to “About Myself”

  1. Cinda says:

    Dear Shekhar,
    Interesting!
    The “I” may very well stand for “Illusion” and until we come to terms with this truth, then perhaps we go on searching blindly…just a thought. Nothing is permanent, I’ll say that again…”Nothing” is permanent and maybe that is the only thing that is permanent NOTHING.
    Any thoughts?
    Here is a poem I would like to share, since it was inspired and manifested through pure oneness with the flow of energies across many countries in between. The first half was written by Eric and the second part by me. It happened while my tv was on and I was at the computer reading the first part for the first time…then, without any thoughts, my hand just started typing in the rest of it. Mysteriously enough, the program on tv was a movie called “Angela’s Ash”. As it so happens, my middle name is Angela and when this poem was first written, it was on Deepak’s website where I first met the co-author, Eric. We met there in the Prayer Circle Board soon after 9/11 came to be.
    Shekhar, I don’t know why I am writing all of this to you. This poem was read at a few funerals in hopes of shedding light on the continuing journey and bringing some peace to mind.
    When my Dad passed on 10 months ago, this poem was the final piece of paper that accompanied his body before cremation. As the flames were lit and the breezes from the heat roared, all of my Dad’s seven children encircled with drums he had handmade himself and played unlike any other time we have played in the 40 years plus of performing. This was different no doubt. The Spirits were among us, as no camers were able to capture what had taken place during that sacred transition. For reason, none of them worked…it was meant only for that moment and that moment alone.
    Namaste,
    Cinda
    As Ash
    I have surrendered
    To your fire,
    And burnt ~
    I come alive
    as nothing more than ash
    And scattered by some holy wind
    I reach every
    Part
    Of
    You
    …as winds blow across
    the ashes of love
    to lands far away
    I rejoice in the thought
    of how many will share
    in this sacred dance
    …as one alone
    cannot behold
    such a great love
    it was meant for all the universe.
    by Eric P. McCarty and Cinda Raymond

  2. parvathi says:

    hi S, new post-Singapore entry? liked what you said here in singapore – and what you say here about prasadam, that gift of being a receptor/conduit for the blessings of the universe – that is also supposed to offer freedom from illusion.
    p

  3. Gyanesh says:

    Dear Shekharji,
    How about filling in some details about how you moved from being an accountant to a director? Did you take any formal training in any related area? Some story about the trials and tribulations of film industry. The fear of failure versus the passion…something on those lines.
    I am keeping out the usual salutations of i admire you etc. since it goes without saying that i admire you and your work immensely.

  4. Charu says:

    Dear Shekhar,
    I am an accountant, 22 yrs old, in States. However, not very successful but definitely uncomfortable. Well, i am an artist and trying to create a footage for myself.
    Sir, i would like you to know that your story is very influential and have loved each and every word of your thoughts.
    Thanks for sharing them with us.. the world!
    Best Regards,
    Charu

  5. Heather says:

    Hi Shekhar,
    Thought you might enjoy this address by Steve Jobs, which my son just sent me:
    http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html
    Its essence is parallel to your own story, above.
    (And his style of writing reminds me of your writings, and Rahul Pandita’s.)
    Cheers, Heather

  6. icyvolcano_5 says:

    Yes I have read about you dabbling into various crafts before carving ur niche in the field of cinema.This quest goes on -search for ‘I’-is it just an illusion? or is it the sole driving force?
    Love is a great power-it propels one to excel; gives so much energy and even if relationships fall apart love never dies..it just takes new hues. Letting go & loving without expectation difficult yet so nurturing..love without possession.& even Death doesnot frighten when one is in throes of love..its so intricate yet so simple.
    Well Shekhar nice for me that I have found a channel to communicate and connect with you..its beautiful!
    love to you & ur loved ones
    Nidhi

  7. Edwin David says:

    Dear Mr. Shekhar, My Anglo-Indian background compels me to seek your advice on my interest in Bollywood. I am very interested in meeting with you not only to discuss my tryout but your fortune. I currently reside in New York and have been for the past 19 years but nevertheless have not forgotten my roots or culture. Sincerely, Edwin David.

  8. vicky kamal says:

    Respected sir,
    It is amazing to find about you, truthfully you have explained yourself, like an open book life.
    My name is Vicky kamal and I live in Ludhiana, Punjab. 25 years of age, male, in business of selling and marketing health club and spa resort equipments (fitness equip., steam, sauna etc.) from seven years.
    I have a very sensitive issue to talk to you about which I discovered 13 years back.
    Studied the subject completely like a critic, examiner until 2004.
    The journey turned to faith after 2004.
    The subject I have can be called THE GREATEST CONTROVERSY.
    THE SUBJECT MATTER IS BASED ON THE BIBLE.
    HOLD YOUR THOGHTS PLEASE, DO NOT JUMP TO A CONCLUSION (THE REQUEST IS TO WHOEVER IS READING IT BEFORE MR.SHEKHAR READS IT)
    54.02% POPULATION OF WORLD IS A BIBLE BELIEVER.
    (I HAD PASTED A FACT PICTURE HERE BUT I AM PUTTING IT IN THE URL)
    THE TRUTH IS IN SYMBOLISM IN BIBLE AND A PERSON NEEDS A FAITHFUL,COMITTED TO HONESTY HEART FOR UNDERSTANDING GOD AND HIS PLAN.
    MEL GIBSON MADE THE PASSION OF CHRIST, I HAVE REVIEWED IT NEARLY 37 TIMES. THERE ARE SOLID PERVERTION OF TRUTH, TO UNNECESSARILY GET APRECAITION FROM CATHOLIC AND PROTESTANT BELIEVERS.
    80% OF CHRISTIANS DO NOT BELIEVE AND TEACH ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH TO BE ANTICHRIST, WHICH WAS THE BASE OF REFORMATION BY MARTIN LUTHER IN 1600 A.D.
    REST 20% AND ALL OF THE PROTESTANT CHURCHES ARE DOING FALSE PROPHETS JOB AS OPENLY PROPHESIED IN THE BIBLE.
    DEVIL IS A BIG REALITY IN BIBLE AND HE IS RUNNING HIS CORRUPT CHURCHES AS COMMENTED BY JESUS IN THE BOOK OF REVELATION OF JESUS CHRIST WHICH IS THE LAST BOOK OF BIBLE.
    FINALLY LET ME SUM UP, A FILM IS REQUIRED TO BE MADE ON THE CORE SUBJECT MATTERS AS WRITTEN IN THE BIBLE IN RELEVANCE TO THE WORLD HAPPENINGS, CHURCH POLITICS, END OF THE WORLD EVENTS, AND BEGIINNING OF NEW WORLD, HEAVEN.
    MAKING IT COMPLETE BOUND TO THE SCRIPT AND SCREENPLAY WRITEN BY GOD HIMSELF IN BIBLE.
    LOGICALLY MADE SIMPLE FOR COMMON MAN TO UNDERSTAND AND FOLLOW.
    NEARLY 4 HR FILMING.
    1 ST HOUR, COMMON MAN STRUGGLES TO GET TO KNOW BASIC KNOWLEGDE OF THE GOD.
    2 ND HOUR, HE STARTS IN DEPTH STUDY AND SECRETS UNVEIL TO HIS FAITH, HIS STRUGGLE BEGINS TO SEE THE HONESTY AND PURITY IS TAKEN AWAY AMONGST THE CHRISTIAN WORLD,
    3 RD HOUR, HE GETS PUBLIC WITH THE MESSAGES, PEOPLE TURN TO GOD, ON THE OTHER HAND END TIME PROPHECIES PARALLLELY START FULFILLING.
    4 TH HOUR ,END OF WORLD AND NEW WORLD BEGINS- WHERE GOD LIVES WITH THEM WRITTEN IN BIBLE AS FOLLOWS:
    REVELATION OF JESUS CHRIST
    20:6 Blessed and holy [is] he that hath part in the first resurrection: on such the second death hath no power, but they shall be priests of God and of Christ, and shall reign with him a thousand years.
    20:7 And when the thousand years are expired, Satan shall be loosed out of his prison,
    20:8 And shall go out to deceive the nations which are in the four quarters of the earth, Gog and Magog, to gather them together to battle: the number of whom [is] as the sand of the sea.
    20:9 And they went up on the breadth of the earth, and compassed the camp of the saints about, and the beloved city: and fire came down from God out of heaven, and devoured them.
    20:10 And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet [are], and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever.
    20:11 And I saw a great white throne, and him that sat on it, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away; and there was found no place for them.
    20:12 And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is [the book] of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works.
    20:13 And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works.
    20:14 And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death.
    20:15 And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.
    Chapter 21
    21:1 And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea.
    21:2 And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.
    21:3 And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God [is] with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, [and be] their God.
    21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
    21:5 And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful.
    21:6 And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely.
    21:7 He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son.
    21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
    21:9 And there came unto me one of the seven angels which had the seven vials full of the seven last plagues, and talked with me, saying, Come hither, I will show thee the bride, the Lamb’s wife.
    21:10 And he carried me away in the spirit to a great and high mountain, and showed me that great city, the holy Jerusalem, descending out of heaven from God,
    21:11 Having the glory of God: and her light [was] like unto a stone most precious, even like a jasper stone, clear as crystal;
    21:12 And had a wall great and high, [and] had twelve gates, and at the gates twelve angels, and names written thereon, which are [the names] of the twelve tribes of the children of Israel:
    21:13 On the east three gates; on the north three gates; on the south three gates; and on the west three gates.
    21:14 And the wall of the city had twelve foundations, and in them the names of the twelve apostles of the Lamb.
    21:15 And he that talked with me had a golden reed to measure the city, and the gates thereof, and the wall thereof.
    21:16 And the city lieth foursquare, and the length is as large as the breadth: and he measured the city with the reed, twelve thousand furlongs. The length and the breadth and the height of it are equal.
    21:17 And he measured the wall thereof, an hundred [and] forty [and] four cubits, [according to] the measure of a man, that is, of the angel.
    21:18 And the building of the wall of it was [of] jasper: and the city [was] pure gold, like unto clear glass.
    21:19 And the foundations of the wall of the city [were] garnished with all manner of precious stones. The first foundation [was] jasper; the second, sapphire; the third, a chalcedony; the fourth, an emerald;
    21:20 The fifth, sardonyx; the sixth, sardius; the seventh, chrysolyte; the eighth, beryl; the ninth, a topaz; the tenth, a chrysoprasus; the eleventh, a jacinth; the twelfth, an amethyst.
    21:21 And the twelve gates [were] twelve pearls: every several gate was of one pearl: and the street of the city [was] pure gold, as it were transparent glass.
    21:22 And I saw no temple therein: for the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are the temple of it.
    21:23 And the city had no need of the sun, neither of the moon, to shine in it: for the glory of God did lighten it, and the Lamb [is] the light thereof.
    21:24 And the nations of them which are saved shall walk in the light of it: and the kings of the earth do bring their glory and honour into it.
    21:25 And the gates of it shall not be shut at all by day: for there shall be no night there.
    21:26 And they shall bring the glory and honour of the nations into it.
    21:27 And there shall in no wise enter into it any thing that defileth, neither [whatsoever] worketh abomination, or [maketh] a lie: but they which are written in the Lamb’s book of life.
    Chapter 22
    22:1 And he showed me a pure river of water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding out of the throne of God and of the Lamb.
    22:2 In the midst of the street of it, and on either side of the river, [was there] the tree of life, which bare twelve [manner of] fruits, [and] yielded her fruit every month: and the leaves of the tree [were] for the healing of the nations.
    22:3 And there shall be no more curse: but the throne of God and of the Lamb shall be in it; and his servants shall serve him:
    22:4 And they shall see his face; and his name [shall be] in their foreheads.
    22:5 And there shall be no night there; and they need no candle, neither light of the sun; for the Lord God giveth them light: and they shall reign for ever and ever.
    22:6 And he said unto me, These sayings [are] faithful and true: and the Lord God of the holy prophets sent his angel to show unto his servants the things which must shortly be done.
    22:7 Behold, I come quickly: blessed [is] he that keepeth the sayings of the prophecy of this book.
    YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THE MATTER, I AM 100% PREPARED TO CONVINCE ANYONE WHO LISTENS HONESTLY.
    THE NAME OF FILM WOULD BE “THE TESTIMONY OF JESUS CHRIST”
    THIS FILM WILL ALSO DEFEND THE DAVINCI CODE, WHICH IS A SATANIC FOUNDATION FOR A BIG BIBLE PROPHECY FULFILLMENT.
    NO ONE CAN HELP, EXCEPT THE BOOK OF GOD TO UNDERSTAND ANY AND ALL THE QUESTIONS OF THE CREATURES TO THE CREATOR.
    I AM NOT IN FOR MONEY BUT I AM ONLY IN FOR SUBJCT MATTER COMMITMENT, EVERY WORD OF GOD.
    LOOKING FORWARD FOR A SERIOUS DISCUSSION, THERE ARE SECRETS NEEDED TO BE UNVEILED TO THE WORLD BY THE HIGHEST SELLING BOOK IN THE WORLD.
    ALL PEOPLE DO NOT KNOW NOW WHAT THE BIBLE WANTED THEM TO DEEPLY DISCOVER BUT ONCE THEY SEE THEY WILL READ IN THEIR OLD DUSTY BIBLES AT HOME THAT WE SHOWED TRUTH TO THEM, BASED ON A COMMON MAN’S UNDERSTANDING.
    THANK YOU,
    DO REPLY ME.
    VICKY KAMAL
    vickykamalmaurya@yahoo.com
    vickykamal@hotmail.com
    0-9216522877
    0-9815358700
    I know this letter doesnot even intoduces the matter. Commitment, is what I need to explian.
    I have not asked anyone else, but I have thought well YOU ARE THE RIGHT PERSON, unless you reject.

  9. mayra says:

    Dear sir,
    i hope to become a successful film maker someday and your story just reinforces everything i believe in…everything you said is so so true…especially when you spoke of meera’s obsession & the difference between obsession & ownership & when you said “By directing all your passions to an imagined universal force, you could go on deriving from it. Forever. As long as you realized that the obsession for other person was only your conduit to the universe. To yourself.”

  10. Shrikant says:

    30th June 06
    Dear Shekhar,
    I liked the originality and truthfulness in your writings. In India, we need a person like you for the dwontrodden in the slums and villages doing some grassroot level work.
    You are a rebellian of beliefs. Change your tracks. Come out of the comfort of your settled life. You can do much more. You know it.
    Read my blogs. We can share ideas.
    Shrikant
    http://www.shrikantsoman.com

  11. Maanuv Bhardwaj says:

    Dear sir,
    Your article has stirred me completely and has started a chain reaction of thoughts in my mind which gives me a sense of deja vu!
    Till today , i believed that road which i have taken to traverse through my life has never been taken before , that i am that one amongst millions eccenteric dreamer who is in search of something , something which will take me out of the ‘dual’ life i am living taking me to the realm of personal satisfaction.
    Your words echo in my mind,its so true,so much like me…
    Today i am a successful doctor working as a business manager for a pharma major in india, but i am not what i have made myself to be,there is a different me , a relentless creative spirit bursting to perform but tightly huddled inside the self-imposed ‘WORK’personality.
    Its the same, as you said , a duality almost to the point of being schizophrenic, a man living in two different dimensions, one from 9 to 5 as a ‘work’ domain, dull, dead, aninitiative, money minded, and another post work ‘play’ domain creative, energetic, full of ideas, impulsive,childlike and risk taking…….
    I am just 28 but my journey in this amazing city of mumbai and my quest for freedom from tnis work domain has taken me to various stop overs , from being a waiter , courier boy, travel agent, tutor,educator, event manager, enterpreneur to a model,voice modulator, writer and now an actor …..its been quite an eventful ride though and enjoyable too , still the journey continues , my quest still going on ……braving all the unexpected dishes served by life on its platter in form of tsunamis of rejection,failures, heartbreaks , bankruptcy and self-doubt…..still the spirit keeps dreaming , dreaming to be free from a bond of the wordly things decided by ‘work’ domain and to be dissolved completely in other half……a half of doing what i love doing, performing what i love to perform, giving vision to my thoughts ,my dreams….
    So,
    when i read your article, it seemed to me its not only me who is going through this kind of excruciating dual life , there is someone else also who has seen these confusions, desperations, these times.
    ….and that too , oh great God ! that too someone whom i have been a great admirer of…… i certainly was not aware of your journey before today and now when i am , it gives me great joy…makes me feel connected to one the most crative minds on this plane…hwooooo… i am excited, and i can not even control this excitement, that precisely is the reason i am writing this to you, just felt like sharing ……..
    you might not know , but you have just re-ignited that spark in me, which was dying ,the light in me dimming in the harsh rain and stormy winds of struggles of life…..
    Thanks so much to you !
    May god give me an opportunity to meet you some day.
    Regards
    Maanuv

  12. rs says:

    19th aug 06 – unforgettable day
    Met Shekhar kapur my first crush [NOTE: kapur with U and not double O’s]
    i met him accidentally, unprepared, smitten, dumb struck, frozen, shaken[do i sound like a margeritta?]
    i said everything, i shouldn’t have.
    worst dressed, looking worst and at my worst behaviour.
    i suddenly remembered the spoof i had done on KAANTE NAHIN KATTE – from mr india in a red saree[not blue].
    i have been reading all the blogs –
    such a simple man and yet not so simple !
    Aware yet searching !!
    all the veins stick out on hisfingers warning others of a hardworking man.
    Dreamy eyes and an almost wicked smile peaks out of a bushy face.
    unkept clothes, unkept hair;
    millions of thoughts floating like sperms in a vagina…

  13. somdatta says:

    Hi,
    I need feedback on my songs..
    Pls send me your feedbacks at music@somdatta.com
    My songs are on my site http://www.somdatta.com
    thanks
    somdatta

  14. Neeta says:

    I wish I could stop the rivers and hold it in my arms.
    I wish I could collect the skies in the palm of my hand.
    I wish I could drink up the oceans never to be thirsty again.
    I wish I could be in the moment but isn’t it all about you?
    I’m only just beginning to understand the concept of being a conduit and it’s the most uncomfortable feeling, if it’s all about God what about me??

  15. Robin Wilmington says:

    Shekhar
    Having shared ATF – and a number of other evenings with you – in the early 70s, and recognising the truth of what you say about that time, I wish had had your courage to follow my dreams rather earlier in life.
    My watchwords to anyone reading come from a speech in the first act of the Taming of the Shrew, Tranio to Lucentio “… No profit grows where is no pleasure ta’en. In brief, Sir, study what you most affect.”
    Do get in touch.
    Rob

  16. Narayan Mantri says:

    Do an accountant still alive in you?
    You told very nicely about yourself in this particular blog.
    I am too an accountant. But who is this accountant? I am quite confused with lot of aspects but still I enjoy sometimes. But then Who is confused?? And Who enjoys???
    Lot to share… but with whom to share??? With “I” or with you??? but who we are?
    So lets meet sometime when you are in Mumbai.. Just beacause I think you exist on this palnet earth and will come some time to Mumbai….But Who thinks???
    A story I had heard When I was Child… One Master came from behind and asked his disciple who was standing with a crowd to see the King’s Julush.
    What is going on here…. without realising that the man behind is his master… replied…. King’s Julush Going on this road…
    King on His elephant… Cant you see????
    Who is king and Who is Elephant??
    The one on the top is King & The down is the elephant.
    But then How I should understand what is the top & what is the down???
    Disciple got angry and made the man down on the earth and sat on his shoulder and said now you are in the position of elephant and I am in the position of king.
    Master asked again….. but then who are you and who is I.
    Disciple realised he was his master….

  17. shekhar says:

    Thats a good story, Narayan. Its the perputual question. Who is the I, and if the I no longer exists then who are you except a figmne tof the imagination of the I,
    Shekhar

  18. Narayan says:

    (If You asking all sundry here what’s EGO???)
    Seeing your reply, I am really feeling good. But why I am feeling good??????
    Any ways…
    But, Shekhar you missed the essence of the story. Like I did.
    That’s Why I am saying …..We are lazy understanding the concept. “Conciousness”
    I wish to retell the same story.
    The disciple was standing in the crowd to see the King’s Julush
    He was getting mesmerized looking at the “Vaibhav” of the King the special man on the well dressed Elephant on which he was riding.
    The disciple …In his mind he was thinking “Wow Raja ji ki kya shaan hai and if King looks at my shining brahmin head he will donate me something or will include me in his Nav ratnas” etc. While he is in this thought …..comes the master…………
    The master came to the disciple to teach a lesson and asked what’s happening?
    He said its King’s Julush Can’t you see? The King on the Elephant?
    Master says in my state of being – I cannot see difference between the King & the Elephant, No duality. So can you explain me a bit and asked who is the king & who is the elephant?
    Disciple said the one on the top is the king & the down is the elephant.
    Master says in my state of being – I cannot see any dimension i.e. up down near far etc. So can you explain me a bit and asked what is top & what is down?
    Disciple said after making his master down on the earth and riding on his shoulder that I am in the position of King & you are in the position of the elephant.
    Master says in my state of being – I cannot see difference between you and I. So can you explain me a bit and who is you and who is I?
    As disciple has now seen the man without any EGO and seeing his humility and probing questions…….. he realized something. What was that something????
    Shekhar, I had not understood and basically ignored how the disciple realized that he was his master at the end? The last line of the story.. remember.
    Definitely not by just looking at his face but by seeing his humility and probing questions he made. He remembered the lesson which was taught to him by his master which he had forgotten and was not applying it in his day to day life and while looking at the Julush of the King by which he was getting mesmerized. He realized his mistake………..and understood the lesson master wanted him to learn…….
    The irony and the problem is that we are not learning the lesson ( The easy one) . Shekhar just check right away the response of your ego your “I”. I am also looking at mine…….
    Hey…… some body is asking me from inside…. Whats’ happening ? I said the inner voice I am looking at the shekhar the special man the king riding on his blog the elephant. (Getting mesmerized??? Nay be….While writing the essence I missed the essence. See the irony…..I am looking if I can grab the attention of this special man like the disciple must have thought about the king in the story)
    My innerself my master saying me the same story again… and the story gets repeated and reapeted….
    I need to learn the lesson and need to recognize the inner voice like the disciple did at the end.

  19. Harb says:

    The answer to the question “Who am I?” first comes suddenly, in a flash of what may be called self-realization.
    Then it is to be reached consciousy, step by step which is a life-long process.
    One may succeed but one will not be there to tell about it.
    Harb

  20. Harb says:

    Dear Shekhar,
    I liked the following poem very much regarding one’s sudden and step by step realization of “Who am I?” as above. Perhaps you too will like it:
    The event
    Was accomplished
    But reason
    Had yet to absorb it entire.
    It hadn’t burst hot from the lips yet,
    A tale like a swift spreading fire.
    The moments were not yet near
    To assess it dispassionately,
    But nonetheless
    All was clear
    From the look of the earth and the sky….
    Harb

  21. shekhar says:

    thanks harb, thats really interesting, shekhar

  22. shekhar says:

    but you did share, and we all appreciated that – thats what blogging is about – sharing in a community, and there is nothing naive about what you wrote. just keep sharing> shekhar

  23. Maanuv bharadwaj says:

    🙂
    Maanuv

  24. Narayan Mantri says:

    🙂
    Narayan

  25. yes fist time iam read about your parsanal web,iand very intrestingly i have search this and open this web ,i am very surprased to look this wow,it is un bilivebal metarial and thoughts and articar in this side ,fist look it is not look like a film maker or directore s site,but it ois like a spiruceal wisdom and great life learnig side,very thanks full to you and reqest pl continu this ok .pl replay as you wish.

  26. Ranjan says:

    I try and let the duality, my individuality melt away. Will I suceed ?
    Vow!! Lage Raho!!
    Infact LAGE RAHO is my mantra to make some effort in that direction. It’s all about Lust, Anger, Greed and Ego (LAGE) and effort to Replace, Anticipate, Honour and Order them Out (RAHO)
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts

  27. shivang sharma says:

    hello sir … how r u .. .well i had red some part of ur story .. and i m feeling good .after eading ..well i m class 12 student … in delhi ..i had interest in writing department ( story ,screenplay ,dialogues lyrics) well sir i dont know the difference between story and screen play …and sir just want to ask u dont u had that fear in ur mind if i got unsucessfull after quiting my acountant job what will i do ..well sir i also want to be a film maker and but i think that in film industry u dont have one particular time to be a sucessful .. i can took many years pr just a moment ..so sir do u had fear of being unsucesful in those days .well if a person is also a positive thinker but sometime we had to look negative side of that ..
    so sir i hope u will reply .. waiting for ur answer and god bless u sir ..and i will be waiting for ur movies ..
    bye
    take care

  28. ajay lohan says:

    hi sk,
    after reading ur’s i found that you r in love with your breath & soul.
    i respect you
    regards
    ajay lohan

  29. Aditya says:

    Shekar
    It was a pleasant experience watching your interview last night on NDTV good times. I don’t know, i felt some kind of a connection with your perceptions.Strangely.It was like me giving the interview as in a similar thought process. I have also experimented on the same lines.There was this one time when a thought came to me about the happening of creativity which i wanted to implement as the theme for my college magazine. The fisrt section would be pattern based. Rational, mundane and conforming articles.The next section was experimentation based. confusing,absurd,unique personal experiences(The beginning of the breakage of pattern). The last section would mostly include poems on chaos and just letting go and how creativity is a happening when the structure breaks. It was quite a challenge to implement it.
    Anyways it would be really exciting to communicate with you and exchange ideas. I too write a bit and would be thrilled if you could check them out.

  30. chavanni says:

    chavanni would like to translate some of your posts and put it on his blog for hindi readers.
    please permit him.

  31. Samira says:

    Nicely put, but if falling in love is natural why is our first instinct to resist it and to run from it?

  32. Sudipto Sen(Gupta) says:

    Hi Shekhar,
    I had always liked your way of speaking, walking, you know when i joined the IAF, i was almost emoting your mannerism.
    You are the right kind of guy who could think of Mr. India and now Time Machine…..etc!!
    Please come back and share your creativity and sprirtual thoughts with lots of admirers like me!!!
    I have now become a civilian, after laying down the blue uniform seven years back.
    I would love to be a member of your society, club… etc. I would feel honoured to address you as Dada… in bengali.
    Best regards and keep well, love for your daughter.
    Cheers!!
    SS(g)

  33. Somenath says:

    Hello Shekharji,
    I dont know where to start from. May be first about Elizabeth-the golden age..I really liked it. I was just waiting for my office cab to arrive and pick me up. Its almost 3:00 AM. Just thought of browsing through the net and try to find people who aaccoplished their goals and who followed there heart and didnt care about the result. Suddenly it just clicked in my mind to type in the name Shekhar Kapur in google and tyr to find some facts about you….To my delight, yes i got someone again who can inspire me, give me more strength to dream upstream. May be I have only a few friends who actually believe that someday i will realise my dream. I love the thought of expressing ideas via Films! its a vision which needs to be communicated to everyone acrooss so that people who find resemblance in thoughts can savor the beauty of that thought! I suffer a similar stress where i am trying to break free bbut i cant……but i knoww i will because I have to! LIFE IS TO LIVE AND LIVE IT NOW…..THATS WHAT I SAY TO EVERYONE! May be its really not even possible to follow everytime…..but theres nno harm in trying..May be specially when my body says no to go for theatre or sit and read after working such an odd shift at night. Its no ones fault my my inability to break the shell due…..i sometimes blame the destiny and sometimes the society. May be if I was born rich then the scenario would have been different….may be it would have not been so much tough and painful! But no, i think thats just an excuse of not being able to succeed….but i wrote something about when i was in a state of utter despair and found no one to my rescue..I dont know whether Shekhar Kapur would actually read this but I still wanted to send this to you at this oddest hour of night….just a thought……
    When the mirror reflects my life
    I see the different people I’ve been
    I try to find myself, who I am
    Beyond everything this world has seen.
    But that’s how life’s supposed to be
    A labyrinth, way out of which you can’t see.
    I see a man fail no matter, how hard he’s been trying
    I see a man who lost in life and how he’s been crying.
    I see a man happy with life ,One who has got his dream
    I see a man who loves his family and always moves with the stream.
    But that’s how life’s supposed to be
    Enclosed in a circle but still appears to be free.
    No matter how much happiness he could see
    The man’s still fighting to set the soul free
    In a different galaxy where he wants to be
    Be the brightest star which everyone would see.
    But that’s how life’s supposed to be
    Losing a million times and yet fighting for victory!
    I see a young mad fellow who cant control his heart
    I see a Juliet in Romeo’s soul, true love which can never part.
    I see a child sitting all alone, & crying as he lost the game
    Somebody snatched all his happiness, & now everything’s driving him insane.
    I see a silent soul weeping in pain which cant stop the tears
    I see the darkest clouds, the heaviest rain surrounded by all my fears….
    I see a compassionate friend, who still smiles feels and cares
    I see the helpless helping others & every wound that he still bares………
    But that’s how life’s supposed to be
    The mirror reveals so many sections which we can never see!
    Somenath Dasgupta–hope you liked it!

  34. Somenath says:

    Thanx Shekharji for the honour…..thanx for allowing me to express my thought in your own space, in your website. I will keep on writing and expressing my thoughts and bother you every now and then!! haha!!Thank god its saturday and i can sleep….need nt get up at 3 AM! God Bless You!

  35. fanindra kumar says:

    hi sekharji, i visit in this site first time and feel very happy , i like ur work and personality. this time u r in INDIA it makes me feel very active i also read ur views in news paper wen ever it publised and try to meet you because i am passionate about movie but not able till now if i get a chance to meet u i am very happy. i think this is the way i am able to b in touch with you. happy new year 2008. fanindra new delhi 09999045087.

  36. Mani says:

    Hello Mr. Kapur, I write this to you from Hong Kong. Although I wanted to be able to contact you through e-mail and not through your blog, I don’t have much of a choice as I haven’t yet been able to discover your e-mail i.d or a direct contact.
    There is a possibility that this post might be deleted before reaching you but I need to try getting in touch with you through whatever means available. You could say, its my Inner Buddha asking me to do that.
    I am an Indian person and have been following Buddhist philosophy for last three years. I now realize that Buddha was what I’d been looking for most of my adult life.
    I was in Bodhgaya in November and it was the most uplifting experience for me. I would like to do a documentary on Buddhism mainly because we Indians need to get in touch with Buddha and undertsand HIM. His teachings got lost on us along the way due to Hinduism’ strong hold. I might be sounding nationalistic but Buddha is India’s legacy and ironically more popular outside of India, which is absolutely fine but we sure need to get in touch with HIM as well. Let’s see if I am meant to do this.
    The reason for this unconventional mail to you is that want to request you to be MY MENTOR AS A FILMMAKER. Therefore I want to request for a meeting with you in late February or March, if that’s possible with you. That’s when I can be in Mumbai.
    I am an independant filmaker based in Hong Kong and have just finished my very first project which is a documentary that covers ten dance styles-from Indian Classical to Salsa, Tango, Flamenco, Ballroom dancing, Chinese, Afro, etc. I started this project with little or negligible experience in filmmaking. But it was something that i had to go through.
    Its difficult for me to talk further about this project without getting emotional. so I am going to stop for now as tears are rolling down my cheeks. The project was written, conceived, produced, directed by me. And after going through a few editors, I finally had to edit it myself as well, with an assistant ofcourse.
    The project is titled- DANCES IN HONGKONG- BOUNDARIES NOT INCLUDED
    Besides, my full-time job is that of a flight attendant with a major airline based in HKG, that’s a job that I wish to leave to pursue Filmmaking, and my Academic Goals.
    I hold a Masters in INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS from Australia, with my thesis being on INDIA-PAKISTAN SECURITY RELATIONS. It earned me a HIGH DISTINCTION.
    I have definite plans to go for a PhD exploring INDIA_CHINA RELATIONS. Since this is a vast subject, I have yet to narrow it down to something interesting. I seriouly think India and China have a vast untapped potential to collaborate in so many areas.
    If possible, I would like to see it being harnessed.
    I have been the Winner of an Inter-Airline Beauty Peagant, and was the only Indian to have won the title in 15 years.
    Have done some free-lance modelling here in Hkg and also co-anchored a travel show( a small segment of it). Am quite comfortable infront of camera but mainly as a hobby, a means to earn quick money and as a learning process.
    I also have a book project -the Biography of my Godfather who’s a High Lama in TIBETAN BUDDHISM-that I am curently translating from ENGLISH TO HINDI.
    I am also a freelance writer and have contributed travel-lifestyle articles, aviation and political research.Currently i am contributing to a monthly magazine called CULTURE and introducing my film through those write-ups
    And then my other interests include metaphysics, energy healing like Reiki, kineseology, etc.
    Swimming, hiking , etc are some of my hobbies.
    Apologies for such a long mail but I just wanted to give a brief background about myself.
    Thanks a lot for your time and for reading this.
    Do hope to hear from you
    Best Regards
    Mani
    Hong Kong
    Tel:26486364/92673474 (00852)

  37. deepak says:

    Hi Shekhar,
    I Pray to God for your sound health so that you keep producing such magnificient movies. Well I have always been an a big fan of yours, from the time you use to act in “Udan”, then I was 5-6 yrs.
    I just wanted to convey that it pains me a lot when I sense a depressed,unhappy shekhar from inside whenever i see any of your interviews on Tv. You have done a lot for the mankind by producing such a quality and message cinema.
    Plz plz always be happy !!
    Regards,
    Deepak Arora

  38. Kumkum Shrivastava says:

    Hi Shekhar!.
    ” I don’t intend being your crutches but infact being your wings…… coz you were born to fly!!!”:
    I don’t know you from adam and have never met. I have watched a few of your movies and read precisely 2 articles of yours in the Times of India recently ( Hyd Times). The most recent was a few days ago in which you stated ” Iam a bad husband” and the previous where you mentioned you were in search of an Executive Assistant.
    My reading of you, only through your photos is:
    You are basically a loner. Yet you like the presence of someone as long as they don’t impose their presence on you. Almost like a book on the shelf which you can reach to as and when, you can see, touch, feel consult as and when you wish with no demands on you.
    You are a Narcissist
    You are a perfectionist
    You do whatever you wish with great passion.
    You have fame, money yet you are constantly in search of something much deeper.
    You have a very questioning mind ( childlike) and very profound thoughts.
    You are equally at ease with a comic book as also with theroies of Zen
    You have simple tastes– which are immaculately tailored suits and kurta pyjamas.
    You are a hopeless romantic deeply in love with the concept of romance.
    To you life is one big romance and you undertake this journey as a mere observer.
    You are meticulous and very rigid in your views although you perceive yourself to be free flowing.
    You are equally comfortable at a roadside dhaba or a plush Fench/ Italian restaurant.
    You are eternally grateful for what you have received yet you yearn for more… not necessarily materialistic objects.
    You can rough it out but you like to come back to beauty and luxury too.
    You expect 200% faithfulness but do not wish the other to expect that of you.
    You are highly possessive but will refrain from admitting as you don’t wish the other to be
    You look for someone who will help you be yourself and help you understand yourself.
    All the above makes you a very difficult and complex being ( whilst you consider yourself to be very simple) and hence a challenge to figure out and be with. Having said that it also envelopes you in a cloud of exciting mystery worth exploring.
    I would like to seek an opportunity to assist you in getting to know yourself, not through sermons or judgements or counsel but by mere observation, listening, partaking in your interests and being there.
    If you have not found an EA yet do consider me. You will not regret it.
    Should you wish to know about me and my competencies please respond on skumkum@yahoo.com.
    All the best to you and to me.
    Kumkum

  39. Vijay says:

    May I ask you, Shekhar……why exactly the “duality” bothered you so? I feel consumed by that “duality” too……very often, but somehow, it doesn’t seem to bother me. In the circs, I figured asking you “Why did it bother you?” is perhaps more logical than asking myself “why doesn’t it bother me?” 🙂 Is there an answer?

  40. Sahil says:

    Hi Shekhar, some people who have been writing have been asking you to fill in the details from your transition of being an accountant to a director. Im pretty interested to find those things out myself- did you take any formal training? film school? Anyway it would really be nice if you wrote an article about that.
    Sahil

  41. Deepti Kaushik says:

    Respected Shekhar Sir,there was one story or play telecast in which u had acted along with Shri Vinod Nagpal. The theme of the play was that a do-gooder(played by Shri Nagpal) distributes bags which contain some item or gift which can remove the problem of the person who recieved the bag.But there is a curse attatched with this system that when the do-gooder distributes 40th bag,someone dies and the dying person may be close to the heart of the person who recieves the bag.This was the centre point of that play or story.Kindly let me know the name of that story or play,the writer of the same and the director of that story or play.
    Kind Regards.
    Deepti

  42. H. Singh says:

    Mr.Shekhar Kapoor,
    I happen to be a socio-political activist.
    Have finished authoring a movie script on the ‘Special Economic Zone’ (SEZ) phenomena.
    The script looks into class conflicts that begin unfolding as soon as the decision to set up an SEZ is taken. Using the issue, the script brings out the cleavage that exists and is developing in rural India. The sympathies of the author lie with the landless poor.
    In case you are interested please call me at +919953906890
    truly yours
    Hardip

  43. Abbas Mirza says:

    Dear Shekhar,
    Hope all is well with you. I have been a fan of your movies. I am from Pakistan and by profession a senior employee (DGM) in one of the premier and largest Stock Exchange in Pakistan.
    I am undertaking a first ever trip to Bombay in October 08 during 20-26 in connection to one of the workshop being organised by Bombay Stock Exchange.
    Just wondering if I can have an opportunity to meet you. I would be highly grateful if you can take out time and also arrange a visit for me to studios.
    I would appreciate your reply on my given email address.
    Thanks and With best regards,

  44. maanuv says:

    Dear Shekhar Sir
    You may recall me as one of the people regularly reading your blog and posting my own life experiences sometime(e.g. one on naadi shastra etc.)
    I have also mentioned to you that I am an aspiring actor.
    Now you are in Mumbai and planning to work on Paani (as per what I hear).
    As You are planning to cast fresh talent for your feature(again as per the reports), I was wondering if I could meet you ( if possible) or atleast be considered for a possible screen test.
    It would be really nice of you to atleast give me an opportunity for a screen test , may be I get to work with the best of the brains in the country …that would be a dream opprotunity worth more than anything and a beautiful turn
    Sir, You have my email address ( which I have to fill in the column above),Please write back.
    I shall look forward to your kind reply with lot of eagerness.
    Regards

  45. Babita Dubay says:

    This is so interesting!…I have never known this much about you…I’m an engineer who dabbles in the Arts…I only seriously started comtemplating moving fully into the Arts a reality at 30 still have not have the guts to do so fully…but at least I’ve started doing little things…blogging…a very small theatre thing…then blogging again…mixed in with attempts at my novel in progress during creative writing retreats. I really associate with your concept of love as well and can say for sure I’ve experienced some of what you have described with respect to that as well…and for sure I believe and again this is by experience not just thinking…that any true expression of Art comes from the same place that true love does and must be from the Universal self or at least when we tap into it…also it can make you like a mad woman or man when it happens…I became interested in reading more bout you after hangin out on Intent for the last few mths…nice getting to learn more about and from what seems to be a very enlightened spirit! You make me feel a little less lonely on the planet and inspired!
    other than the blog ive linked to on my name i have these other web things:
    http://universalcollectiveprayer.blogspot.com
    http://booksandfilmscorner.blogspot.com
    http://www.meadysmusings.com

  46. shekhar12 says:

    babita, what an interesting website you have ! shekhar

  47. manohar says:

    Hi..shekhar sir…A,m Manohar (creative consept artist,carector Devlpr.your tinks about indian Mythologycal mistry.produce to entair world.sir i,m very inrested abt.comical carector creation ,consept Devlpments.sir.pls.i,will intrested to work with virgin comics…

  48. kanishka singh says:

    Hi Shekhar,
    I am here in a hope to discover myself to where I started and here on my midway to realise that I am the right man in the wrong place… i mean sounds similar to your story of life ..except that..i have been now 25 and you were at 22 and the things i want to hear is lights..camera..action… and the difference is that I want to face the camera and on the other side i want to see some face guiding me ..and at times..yelling me to think that I am into worng way..but yet to move on is what my courage will keep me alive..on my journey which has just begun…not everyone’s lucky to get his words read by you..so i am no one except a common guy with big dreams in heart ..and in pursuit of my dreams i came here to get some light of thoughts from you ..to help me write one more history of my self….should you hear a inner voice to help me or reply me..then please do…so at : kanishka.mact@gmail.com…i am 25 years guy workin as software engineer who is all out…in sun without an umbrella…I hope my words speak up to your heart to get some news from you…
    With Regards
    Kanishka Singh

  49. madina says:

    GENIOUS AND SICCESSFULL PEOPLE DON`T RELAX IN CHAIRS THEY RELAX IN WORK, THEY SLEEP WITH DREAM AND AWAKE WITH DETERMINATION AND COMMITMENT…. HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009..with full love

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